**GF with EX 2 days after breakup**

[chados]

100 pages here we come!

 

i've been textin with one of her best friends for quite awile now. shes helpin me with this whole thing and lets me know whats up from time to time. she just texted me saying she has been crying all day cuz ahole is being a mega jerk.

 

she also told me she found some old saved texts from me that she had to just delete them without looking cuz she woulda bawled her eyes out. she also says how much she loves and misses my family. his parents are kinda out there . . .

 

sadley not a whole lot about me. but shes deff thinkin.

 

then her friend told me i should text her tonight. they are still in a pretty big fight . . . she even texted punkin to see if ahole was there and he isn't. now i know better. texts are SO impersonal. and NC is NC. then she said well next time it gets like this you shold just swoop in and steal her back. she gotta be so confused, and frustrated and that dosn't make me happy. but for some reason i'm in a better mood now.

 

 

 

first of all, it could be a bad idea talking to her best friend. this is what guys do when theyre desperate, calling her friends/family etc. since they are best friends she could very well tell your ex. i know its a good feeling talking to her because she can tell you everything she does. she might not do it now, but maybe 1-3 months from now. this could make your ex angry with her for spying on her. and she could be angry at you because you didnt accept that she wanted to breakup.

 

okey. i cant make this more clearer than i already have. DO NOT CONTACT!!!

yes its her best friend telling you to do it. but it doesnt tell you anything. if your ex tells her that she want you back, its another story. but right now she hasnt said anything about wanting you back. yes she's confused, big deal, that wasnt so hard to figure out.

 

she cries because of old memories. my ex cried when i told her i needed some space, even when i could easily tell that she didnt feel comfortable to see me at that point. do i believe she miss me?, yes i do. i believe theres a chance that she could regret breaking up with me. but i dont know that, thats why im not going to put myself in any more pain. i know she's looking up on me A LOT. that still doesnt prove that she wants to get back.

 

i told you that her relationship wont last, and im starting to believe that im right. but even that doesnt say she wants you back. what youre doing right now is not accepting her wishes. it has nothing to do with not wanting her back. but you dont see the point by moving on.

 

 

im gonna try explaining this in a better way.

 

1. she tells you she wants to break up. by telling you that she's simply saying , i dont need you anymore. i want to be friends but i could find someone more suitable in my life.

 

2. theres a big chance she will contact you, it could be because of either guilt,regrets or just see how youre doing.

 

3. she could contact you more often, because of the above reasons. it could be because of friendship, but most people doesnt want to be friend with their exes that soon after a breakup. or she could completely stop.

 

 

this is what youre going to do

 

1. tell her that you understand why you broke up, and tell her that you realize this is the best for the both of you

 

2. stop contacting her, you could answer if she initiate contact, but make it short and dont ask her to much questions back. this could be either good or bad. sometimes its best to not answer at all. it could be a bad idea to completely ignore her to if you want her back.

 

 

 

3. move on. this is the best way to get a person back, since youve accepted the breakup, she will feel that youre mature about her wishes. she's dating, well why not do it yourself?, this wont make it harder to get her back. this will make it easier. people want what they cant have, they want a person that is attractive to other people. and its a huge bonus that youre sharing a background. this is what you dont understand yet, even if its about getting her back or not. moving on will always be the best way to get her back. you need distance so that she can miss you.

Edited December 13, 2011 by chados

[punkinless]

chados just give up i'm hopeless!

 

her friend usually txts me and just asks how i'm doing. then i try and help her with her boy problems. she has a huge crush on one of my kinda friends. then i usually ask her "hows "punkin?" then she told me that she was crying all day and now i just wanna go kick "ahole's" ass for bein a jerk. this is the most highschool drama that i've ever been in. and i'm in college! i'm deff not contacting her but if this happened a couple more times where she was THIS upset it would be hard to not do anything . . .

 

"yes she's confused, big deal, that wasnt so hard to figure out."

this made me laigh. idk why. lol

 

i know the drill WHEN she contacts me (NOT IF!!!lol) but its nice to see it spelled out again. thanks again chados. i'm sure we got a few pages woth of this thread left so i'll keep in touch

[chados]

chados just give up i'm hopeless!

 

her friend usually txts me and just asks how i'm doing. then i try and help her with her boy problems. she has a huge crush on one of my kinda friends. then i usually ask her "hows "punkin?" then she told me that she was crying all day and now i just wanna go kick "ahole's" ass for bein a jerk. this is the most highschool drama that i've ever been in. and i'm in college! i'm deff not contacting her but if this happened a couple more times where she was THIS upset it would be hard to not do anything . . .

 

"yes she's confused, big deal, that wasnt so hard to figure out."

this made me laigh. idk why. lol

 

i know the drill WHEN she contacts me (NOT IF!!!lol) but its nice to see it spelled out again. thanks again chados. i'm sure we got a few pages woth of this thread left so i'll keep in touch

 

 

haha yeah were not stopping until youve got at least one text from her

let him treat her bad, as long as he's not kicking her as. this is what she did chose. dont do anything stupid, like telling her he's an idiot. or telling him that he is. just let it be.

[punkinless]

oh shyt yes at least ONE. i got 10 bucks says she wishes me merry christmas. anyone? ha.

 

in other news, everythings perfect in fairytale land again, big suprise. . .

 

i need a punching bag. when i get pissed i go out in the garage and work on stuff. ususally my wheeler. just sucks when i'm out there still at 3:30am. got a race this weekend. girls like things that are fast and loud right? haha.

[chados]

oh shyt yes at least ONE. i got 10 bucks says she wishes me merry christmas. anyone? ha.

 

in other news, everythings perfect in fairytale land again, big suprise. . .

 

i need a punching bag. when i get pissed i go out in the garage and work on stuff. ususally my wheeler. just sucks when i'm out there still at 3:30am. got a race this weekend. girls like things that are fast and loud right? haha.

 

haha well thats great, how are you responding?. hey, doesnt this tread remind you of something?

 

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=310328

[punkinless]

how am i responding if she texts me? uhhhhhh idk. if i do respond (which i probably should) i would wait a few hours or maybe even until later than be like "oh sorry i was busy . . . yada yada yada

 

it sucks man. she got me a dam fine xmas present last year. lol

[punkinless]

ummmmm i'm not sure but i think i just got proof that she was seeing her new boy behind my back weeks before she broke up with me . . . i'm not doin good. like they were hugging and stuff and she was seeing him without telling me. and he sent her a letter the 17th of september (we broke up the 29th) of how he LOVES her and how he can't wait to see her AGAIN! i was makin good progress i thought but now if this is true i have to strongly consider moving on. man i don't want too. i hope it isn't true . . . god please say it isn't true . . .

[chados]

ummmmm i'm not sure but i think i just got proof that she was seeing her new boy behind my back weeks before she broke up with me . . . i'm not doin good. like they were hugging and stuff and she was seeing him without telling me. and he sent her a letter the 17th of september (we broke up the 29th) of how he LOVES her and how he can't wait to see her AGAIN! i was makin good progress i thought but now if this is true i have to strongly consider moving on. man i don't want too. i hope it isn't true . . . god please say it isn't true . . .

 

 

 

how did you get to know about the letter, and from who?. man YOU SHOULD move on. thats the point with all this pages. that doesnt mean youre not leaving a door open for further conversations. its like, youre healing and if she contacts you and telling you she wants to give it a new try, take it from there. but then you wont be as hurt as the first time if she decides to not do it. moving on is the best option both for getting back together and for your healingprocess. you could wish her marry christmas, if she told you first, i dont see any harm in that. you would probably just look sad if you didnt.

 

ive made progress, but i woke up this morning thinking about her. feelings just dont fade away when you want them to. the more youre looking in to things she does, the more youre asking about her, you will never fully heal. its really like you dont understand the whole point with this.

[punkinless]

yup. she was seeeing him behind my back. like weeks before she broke up with me. you don't understand. i thought she was extremely faithful. she was worided about me cheatin at college. f*ck her. she snuck off to see him sunday nights after i gave her a goodbye kiss and went to college. sk*nk. and she blamed the break up on me. f*uck off. and i asked her directly to her face "were you seeing him behind my back?' and she said "was i cheating on you? ummmm no." seeing another man behind my back, as is i don't know about it is deffinatly cheating. they wern't having sex, or even kissing for that matter, but they could of.

 

i want to contact her so bad. just to let her know that i know. she'll feel like complete shyt.

 

so now i just feel even more f*ucking stupid and weak cuz i still wan't her back. and i'd be a complete d*ck. oh i got so much i could say to her right now. she was badmouthing one of my friends cuz he has flings and isn't faithful to one girl. she is no better.

 

the letter was from a wierd yahoo e-mail that was brobably used just to send me this. a couple screen shots of one of her facebook conversations with him. it was dated sept 17. she broke up with me the 29th. he says how much he loves her and how he can't wait to see her tomorrow (sunday) night. you know, after she kisses me bye for the week. so they must of been seeing each other well before the 17th. i could puke right now. no wonder she didn't try and make things work with me. i tried so hard. and thought it was my fault she left . . .

Edited December 14, 2011 by punkinless

[chados]

yup. she was seeeing him behind my back. like weeks before she broke up with me. you don't understand. i thought she was extremely faithful. she was worided about me cheatin at college. f*ck her. she snuck off to see him sunday nights after i gave her a goodbye kiss and went to college. sk*nk. and she blamed the break up on me. f*uck off. and i asked her directly to her face "were you seeing him behind my back?' and she said "was i cheating on you? ummmm no." seeing another man behind my back, as is i don't know about it is deffinatly cheating. they wern't having sex, or even kissing for that matter, but they could of.

 

i want to contact her so bad. just to let her know that i know. she'll feel like complete shyt.

 

so now i just feel even more f*ucking stupid and weak cuz i still wan't her back. and i'd be a complete d*ck. oh i got so much i could say to her right now. she was badmouthing one of my friends cuz he has flings and isn't faithful to one girl. she is no better.

 

the letter was from a wierd yahoo e-mail that was brobably used just to send me this. a couple screen shots of one of her facebook conversations with him. it was dated sept 17. she broke up with me the 29th. he says how much he loves her and how he can't wait to see her tomorrow (sunday) night. you know, after she kisses me bye for the week. so they must of been seeing each other well before the 17th. i could puke right now. no wonder she didn't try and make things work with me. i tried so hard. and thought it was my fault she left . . .

 

 

 

 

 

im sorry man, yes you want her back, probably because youre emotions are having their own life. just do what youre doing. i would actually move on right now. this feels like a girl you cannot trust. if you still wants her back, dont tell her that you know,she will probably find out in some other way.

[punkinless]

shes a completley different person to me now. now that i think about it her and ahole are a lot alike. f*ckers. but now i know how she operates. run back to whoever was before. so now when she does come back i'll be all lovey dovey to piss off ahole. then rub it in his face. then when shes full on attracted to me. BAM. i start hitting her with everything SHE did wrong. she is gunna cry like a baby and feel like complete shyt. once she swears on her baby brothers life that she'll never cheat again and quit making excuses maybe i'll try and form a halfass relationship with her but i ain't gettin so attached this time. then over time i'll let my guard down. gradually. but i would be in control of the relationship this go around. oh yea and if she ever talked to him again. about anything. i'm just walking out. f*cking GONE. i would make her block his number. the whole nine yards. no more mr nice guy time to be a pr|ck and play the game. for once she needs her heart broke. oh the fun i'd have. i'm sick of being the nice guy and getting walked all over.

[chados]

shes a completley different person to me now. now that i think about it her and ahole are a lot alike. f*ckers. but now i know how she operates. run back to whoever was before. so now when she does come back i'll be all lovey dovey to piss off ahole. then rub it in his face. then when shes full on attracted to me. BAM. i start hitting her with everything SHE did wrong. she is gunna cry like a baby and feel like complete shyt. once she swears on her baby brothers life that she'll never cheat again and quit making excuses maybe i'll try and form a halfass relationship with her but i ain't gettin so attached this time. then over time i'll let my guard down. gradually. but i would be in control of the relationship this go around. oh yea and if she ever talked to him again. about anything. i'm just walking out. f*cking GONE. i would make her block his number. the whole nine yards. no more mr nice guy time to be a pr|ck and play the game. for once she needs her heart broke. oh the fun i'd have. i'm sick of being the nice guy and getting walked all over.

 

 

 

when she comes back "if she comes back" you should not just take her back, this is the time you should confront her, not when your back together. but i really do think the best you can do is to meet another girl. this is just a war on who's winning the game. if you want her to come back, you want her to come back because she loves you, not because she wants to have you around.

[punkinless]

alright so if she comes back confront her right away. got it. man thats gunna be one hell of a day.... oh and believe me if there was another girl in the picture i'd be tryin to hit it. but there really isn't. and theres not much to choose from in this town. its a "all the good ones are taken" sort of thing. but if there was anytime to move on it would be now.

[chados]

alright so if she comes back confront her right away. got it. man thats gunna be one hell of a day.... oh and believe me if there was another girl in the picture i'd be tryin to hit it. but there really isn't. and theres not much to choose from in this town. its a "all the good ones are taken" sort of thing. but if there was anytime to move on it would be now.

 

yeah but just give it a shot, ask someone out. im having a bad day right now. im starting to be unable to control my emotions. i want to text her so badly. a second chance, start of as friend , whatever. i just feel that our breakup did occur for the wrong reasons, and i believe that if i had done everything right, it wouldnt have happened. but still i cant say that is the truth

[punkinless]

when i was venting to my friends it took them by complete suprise and they were pissed for me and a couple of them said i should call her or even go to aholes house and give him what for. like seriously? tryin to steal a girl back from a guy whos 10x better than you after you already had a shot and blew it? f*ck off. of course theres bumpy spots in relationships, but that doesn't mean you take advantage of the situation and be a real pr|ck. he has every reason in the book to get a beatdown. and her, shes hangin out with him doing god knows what while i'm texting her on my way to college. that hurts. that makes my heart shatter. i'd of rather she just told me.

 

i wanted to just go give her a what for, just to show her she isn't foolin anybody and that it wasn't my fault the relationship tanked. it was hers, and his! NOTHING that i would of said whould of kept her around. yet she blames it on me. i just want to send her the letter that was sent to me and thats it just so she knows that i know. like wtf? shytty f*ckin day to say the least. idk how i'll react the next time i see her. pretend i didn't see the letter? and stay? it feels like i'm starting NC all over again. this sucks so bad. it dosen't say that they kissed or were kissing or anything but they must of been. how can you be so in love (or say it anyway) without kissing?

 

i hope, for her sake, she doesn't come back to me. even if she just wanted to be friends. cuz it would get messy. and i would be a cold mutha f*cka.

 

at least 70% of my days are like urs right now. how long sense BU and how long sense NC? i don't really keep track but its been about a 2 and a half months breakup and just over a month NC maybe. i don't really want to call her but i want her to so badly call me crying and listen to her pour her heart out. then i'd go to where she is. give her a hug, and right about when she done crying i'd hit her with everything i've learned sense the breakup and listen to her pour her heart out again. it'd be like music to my ears right about now and i'd feel bad but she deserves every last bit of it. then keep my distance...... and deff not trust her.

 

i just feel that our breakup did occur for the wrong reasons, and i believe that if i had done everything right, it wouldnt have happened. but still i cant say that is the truth

 

this is exactly what i thought too. but after this letter falling into my lap and know she was seeing him behind my back (cheating in my book) its different. there could be things that you don't know too. just be careful and make sure she tells you every last detail of everything about the breakup. and that if you find out something different than what she told you, or she didn't tell you everything, then ur just gunna be gone. for good.

Edited December 14, 2011 by punkinless

[chados]

when i was venting to my friends it took them by complete suprise and they were pissed for me and a couple of them said i should call her or even go to aholes house and give him what for. like seriously? tryin to steal a girl back from a guy whos 10x better than you after you already had a shot and blew it? f*ck off. of course theres bumpy spots in relationships, but that doesn't mean you take advantage of the situation and be a real pr|ck. he has every reason in the book to get a beatdown. and her, shes hangin out with him doing god knows what while i'm texting her on my way to college. that hurts. that makes my heart shatter. i'd of rather she just told me.

 

i wanted to just go give her a what for, just to show her she isn't foolin anybody and that it wasn't my fault the relationship tanked. it was hers, and his! NOTHING that i would of said whould of kept her around. yet she blames it on me. i just want to send her the letter that was sent to me and thats it just so she knows that i know. like wtf? shytty f*ckin day to say the least. idk how i'll react the next time i see her. pretend i didn't see the letter? and stay? it feels like i'm starting NC all over again. this sucks so bad. it dosen't say that they kissed or were kissing or anything but they must of been. how can you be so in love (or say it anyway) without kissing?

 

i hope, for her sake, she doesn't come back to me. even if she just wanted to be friends. cuz it would get messy. and i would be a cold mutha f*cka.

 

 

 

 

 

 

whatever you do dont contact her. if youre willing to forgive this and take her back, it will also be your problem to deal with. if she really is inlove with him theres not much you can do, but i tell you this, kicking his ass wont get you anywhere. be the bigger man and let it go. and for what its worth, you will look much better in her eyes if youre keeping it cool. with that said. if she actually comes back begging, let her truly work for it.

 

im 99% sure the relationship they have wont last. how big to you think the chances are in general that a relationship you start when your young is going to continue until youre dead? 10%? less? maybe she's just to young to know what it takes to be happy. and she will not be happy with that guy, at least not at when if he makes her cry all the time.

[punkinless]

everythings still up in the air. i know love isn't logical. (if it was i wouldn't want her back STILL). but there is deff a pattern. at this rate they will be broken up before the snow melts. or they could last up to a whole nother year. and the pattern shows she'll contact me and all that stuff. so i wanna be prepared. for all i know he could blow up and she could call me tomorrow! would she have to work for it? does a bear shyt in the woods? she better get some yoga pants a sports bra and a sweatband, cuz shes would have work to do....

 

i know what i want in a woman. and i thought i had it. and i could still have it if she matured a little. HONESTY is the biggest thing in my book. and its now tainted. LOYALTY is another, also tainted . . . but there are manymanymany other things. like i said she needs to mature. but she is responsible, works 2 jobs and gets shyt done when needed.

[chados]

everythings still up in the air. i know love isn't logical. (if it was i wouldn't want her back STILL). but there is deff a pattern. at this rate they will be broken up before the snow melts. or they could last up to a whole nother year. and the pattern shows she'll contact me and all that stuff. so i wanna be prepared. for all i know he could blow up and she could call me tomorrow! would she have to work for it? does a bear shyt in the woods? she better get some yoga pants a sports bra and a sweatband, cuz shes would have work to do....

 

i know what i want in a woman. and i thought i had it. and i could still have it if she matured a little. HONESTY is the biggest thing in my book. and its now tainted. LOYALTY is another, also tainted . . . but there are manymanymany other things. like i said she needs to mature. but she is responsible, works 2 jobs and gets shyt done when needed.

 

not sure you do know what you want, what your emotions are telling you is one thing, but they arent always logical. you do know what makes you happy, but its a learningprocess. just look at me, yes i loved my ex, but i thought about if this is what i wanted. when she broke up with me i wanted her back more then i could ever imagine, its just not logical. maybe she isnt the one? she might be a great girl from time to time, but is she really someone you can trust? someone you know will love you back through thick and thin?

 

youre saying that you want her back and love isnt logical, it isnt. but whats logical is that when you realize you can have this with someone else, you'll understand why this breakup was logical.

 

just give this some time. this will be a learningprocess for you. and i cant stress enough how good you might actually feel if youre just try to date someone.

[punkinless]

oh i'm LEARNING all right. her true colors are showing.

i would like to think the old punkin is still in there. somewhere. hiddin by how busy she is and how stressed she is. she had big huge happy together forever plans. maybe that happens in every relationship but she went into extreme detail and at one point she was extremely commited... time will tell. all i know is shes gunna need a whole box of band-aids for this big 'ol heart. its a side affect of being too nice and caring too much . . . and if it doesn't work out like my fairytail then theres always plan "B." i just gotta think of a plan B.

[chados]

oh i'm LEARNING all right. her true colors are showing.

i would like to think the old punkin is still in there. somewhere. hiddin by how busy she is and how stressed she is. she had big huge happy together forever plans. maybe that happens in every relationship but she went into extreme detail and at one point she was extremely commited... time will tell. all i know is shes gunna need a whole box of band-aids for this big 'ol heart. its a side affect of being too nice and caring too much . . . and if it doesn't work out like my fairytail then theres always plan "B." i just gotta think of a plan B.

 

youre digging to much into this. i know how much it sucks. you dont need a plan B, you need to move on. let it go. it doesnt mean its over. its just a way to make you feel better. youre putting yourself in so much pain everyday, and it wont stop. she's cryin a lot because he treats her bad. this is a sign that their relationship blows. try to embrace that she isnt doing any better with this guy. yes you will always see the good things about her, because your not feeling well. you have to feel well to get this to work and to be the guy that will be able to keep her if she comes back.

[punkinless]

i'm not blowing off your other post but punkin now knows that i recieved that email proving she was cheating on me. bob, her brother, let her know after i told him many times not to tell her. but w/e. it dosen't really matter. i was told "shes p|ssed that i found out." well duh! of course she p|ssed that the word is now out that she was a cheat. and that now her closest friends and family know what she did. what i don't understand is how she did it. she must of been really sneaky. i don't even wanna think about it. i don't even care that she knows. i'm just glad that i know.

 

so i'm puttin a smile on my face knowing she not worth my time and doing my best to live my life starting now. if she contacts me i'll try and figure out why she did and based on what she says maybe possibly respond. sense she knows that i know she was cheating the first words better be "i'm sorry . . ." and then a shyt more from there. not until she can admit her own mistakes will she get a peep outta me.

 

and your right. continuing my life doesn't mean i can't come back.

 

i hope your day is going better.... cuz mine is NOT. this deff falls into the category of "just one of them days..."

[chados]

i'm not blowing off your other post but punkin now knows that i recieved that email proving she was cheating on me. bob, her brother, let her know after i told him many times not to tell her. but w/e. it dosen't really matter. i was told "shes p|ssed that i found out." well duh! of course she p|ssed that the word is now out that she was a cheat. and that now her closest friends and family know what she did. what i don't understand is how she did it. she must of been really sneaky. i don't even wanna think about it. i don't even care that she knows. i'm just glad that i know.

 

so i'm puttin a smile on my face knowing she not worth my time and doing my best to live my life starting now. if she contacts me i'll try and figure out why she did and based on what she says maybe possibly respond. sense she knows that i know she was cheating the first words better be "i'm sorry . . ." and then a shyt more from there. not until she can admit her own mistakes will she get a peep outta me.

 

and your right. continuing my life doesn't mean i can't come back.

 

i hope your day is going better.... cuz mine is NOT. this deff falls into the category of "just one of them days..."

 

 

 

 

 

just leave it like this. dont show that you actually care about it. if she confronts you, just tell her that you dont want to hear and you dont care. and say it with confidence, dont look like your mad at her or feeling miserable. if she's nagging about it though, i could see if youre raising your tone

[punkinless]

i'm p|ssed that she knows that i know she cheated. and shes p|ssed at me cuz she thinks i was creepin on her fb and there was no email. duh. if i was creepin on her fb i woulda found it over 2 months ago. its a real bad time for all of this cuz she is still in a fight with ahole. and when they're fighting is when shes comparing me to him. dam. its oh well i guess. i'm just so mad and disapointed with her that she was cheatin. its finally hittin me that it happed. right under my nose.

 

tomorrows another day . . .

[chados]

i'm p|ssed that she knows that i know she cheated. and shes p|ssed at me cuz she thinks i was creepin on her fb and there was no email. duh. if i was creepin on her fb i woulda found it over 2 months ago. its a real bad time for all of this cuz she is still in a fight with ahole. and when they're fighting is when shes comparing me to him. dam. its oh well i guess. i'm just so mad and disapointed with her that she was cheatin. its finally hittin me that it happed. right under my nose.

 

tomorrows another day . . .

 

 

 

cuz she thinks i was creepin on her fb

 

ignore this, this is probably just excuses and she knows it. its her feeling guilt and embarrassment. of course she knows you would bring it up if you did know it then right?. do not show that you care. you havent been talking to her ?

[punkinless]

not a word. this is wat other ppl tell me.