chados Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 not a word. this is wat other ppl tell me. this will work out for the best, dont you worry... you really have to move on now. this is not a healthy or a good way to go on with your life. get a date.. if she comes back you'll take it from there. but i can really feel that this is not that much about love anymore, its about you being lonely. and its about the friendship you two created. Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 ur prolly 100% right. i'm just thick headed and stubburn and when i want something i want it. its just that the very SECOND i'm not doing something she immediatly is in my head. and once shes there its hard to get her out. it hurts me so bad that she would see him behind my back.... Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 ur prolly 100% right. i'm just thick headed and stubburn and when i want something i want it. its just that the very SECOND i'm not doing something she immediatly is in my head. and once shes there its hard to get her out. it hurts me so bad that she would see him behind my back.... yes so do something. go out and meet some new people. the more youre looking into this the worse it will get. and a reconciliation is always going to easier if you got control of your emotions. dont wait for her. if she comes back she comes back. theres really nothing you can do at this point except thinking about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 i'm doing stuff. its just hard to be busy 24/7. i think about her mostly at work just because it is so boring and theres nothing to do besides watch tv. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 i'm doing stuff. its just hard to be busy 24/7. i think about her mostly at work just because it is so boring and theres nothing to do besides watch tv. dont just do stuff. everything wont make you feel better, get on a date.. this will increase your chances with reconciliation. and even better, it will make you think about something else and who knows? you might start to like this girl Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 holy crap if i hear that again i'm gunna snaaapp i knowww. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 holy crap if i hear that again i'm gunna snaaapp i knowww. im not gonna say it again, just do it;) Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 20, 2011 Author Share Posted December 20, 2011 i think they might be breaking up already. holy f*ck. whatdoido?whatdoido?whatdoido? idk if she'll contact me or not..... and say they officially break up and everyone knows it. do i wait for her to contact me? or do i spring into action? i'll be captain save a hoe. i don't even care. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 i think they might be breaking up already. holy f*ck. whatdoido?whatdoido?whatdoido? idk if she'll contact me or not..... and say they officially break up and everyone knows it. do i wait for her to contact me? or do i spring into action? i'll be captain save a hoe. i don't even care. nothing has changed. do what youre doing. i told you this would happen. maybe now it will be easier to hang out with bob. she knows that you know about her dating him while you where together. wait for the apologize and take it from there. dont get your expectations up. and let her work for it. remember that they are still together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 20, 2011 Author Share Posted December 20, 2011 i try to not get my expectations up but its hard not to. i have started to think about her a little less but as you know i still have set backs. all i want is one text from her.... "hi" thats all it would take. 2 letters. to get the ball rolling. bobs parents are throwing a party in their shop like they do every year. bob hasn't invited or told me about it yet. if he told me there is a party but didn't want me there i would be like whatever. but if he doesn't tell me about it so i don't come i'm gunna be flat out p|ssed. at least be honest with me. i'm sure he'll invite me tho.... Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 i try to not get my expectations up but its hard not to. i have started to think about her a little less but as you know i still have set backs. all i want is one text from her.... "hi" thats all it would take. 2 letters. to get the ball rolling. bobs parents are throwing a party in their shop like they do every year. bob hasn't invited or told me about it yet. if he told me there is a party but didn't want me there i would be like whatever. but if he doesn't tell me about it so i don't come i'm gunna be flat out p|ssed. at least be honest with me. i'm sure he'll invite me tho.... the only bad thing is that youve not actually tried to move on, to much focus on her. if she comes back i really hope you will manage to control your behavior.. if something would happen in the next few days and she confronts you, do not act angry sad or desperate to get her back, just be cool like fonzy, dont know if youve seen that show but:D, Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 this is true. i will not allow myself to get outta control. it just can't happen. like say she txts me and we start talkin do i stop her right there and say i need an apology? what if she approaches me in person? Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 this is true. i will not allow myself to get outta control. it just can't happen. like say she txts me and we start talkin do i stop her right there and say i need an apology? what if she approaches me in person? no at this point im guessing the best thing would be to just text her like you would do with anyone else. "you do not care about what she did" yes you do, but theres no need for her to know about that right now. if she approaches you in person, act like nothing is bugging you. but dont look happy by the fact that shes contacting you, she will read you like a book. just talk to her like you would do with a stranger asking for the road. she says hi hows it going, you simply tell her yeah im good, how are you? dont show any signs of anything. just be a guy talking to a stranger without sounding mean. if she starts crying and telling you she's sorry about everything, tell her "well theres nothing we can do about that right now" youre not telling her that you cant talk to her ever again, youre telling her that this is old stuff and theres nothing "we" can do to change that. i really insist that you make this conversation short.. tell her that you have to do something important. maybe work? if she does contact you again take it from there. in other words, let her chase you Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 brilliant! Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 brilliant! well thank you sir:p Link to post Share on other sites
Timbo22 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Hey man are stories or so similar, I dated a girl for 3 1/2 years its coming up on a year now that she left me. I was devastated, lost and didnt know who I was. I spent every second of my day just to make hers a little easier, I wont get into details but are bond felt like it could never be broken. Then one day she just got bored, didnt know who she was. So literally overnight she goes from singing me songs, to leaving me out in the cold. She completely changed and starting living the party life at college. I couldnt handle it, every note i had, every picture, our dogs. I just couldnt handle the swing losing someone that I loved. I started drinking heavily, and sleeping around with random women and I felt like I didnt care about anyone. so in august she calls me crying, Telling me the guy she was seeing was using her and blah blah blah.... Well I gave in she was my 1st love, not a day went by when i didnt think about her. We started hanging out again, talking slow then she apologized for hurting me? I couldnt believe it, she didnt know how I felt, how many times I cried myself asleep. She knows I would never let her down, and she knows im a good person and it would make sense for her to surround herself with good people, but I told her I cant be her friend. Shes begged and pleaded, I always get random drunk texts wanting to have sex, or a text saying she has hit rock bottom ... I havent spoken to her in months She was also very insecure, . I didnt understand because she was gorgeous to me. She hated herself but yet i was in love with her flaws and she knew this yet when i told her that she would just look at me like im crazy wtf? So to basically some it up bro your not alone, I cant talk to anyone about her NO ONE wants to hear it. Ive been told they all come back begging, but at this point I dont know how to forgive her. Because she constantly trying to keep in touch. She told me she got a lump in her throat when she saw a pic of me with another girl. idk what end is up anymore. I know i need to stop dwelling, I have a ton going for me but its just not the same especially with my birthday and mas 2 days apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 hey man thanks for reading. our stories are alike but 3.5 years? wow. we were only at 16mo but it was still a huge change. we literally talked every single day and after the BU she has not contacted me AT ALL. zip, nadda, goose egg. thats what i'm waiting for now... its been almost 3 months sense she has initiated contact with me i thought it was coming soon cuz her "new" boy is still a d*ck and they fight and make up constantly. they were just in a huge fight the other day and i thought they might break up but no go. all i want is her to come back begging and apologizing. cuz i didn't deserve what she did to me but i love her anyway. then i can decide what to do... but if i'm in NC and she won't talk to me first then we are in a stalemate. who breaks up over the holidays anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 when someone starts to drink heavily and just changing their lifestyle, and not acting like themselves. this is a good sign that they are totally lost. this is just something they dont realize is not going to make them happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 they fight, they make up. they fight, they make up. they fight, they make up. i just want here to contact me. UGHHH!!! what are some reasons to break nc IF i want her back? say they breakup and she doesn't contact me. after like a month or so if she isn't seeing anybody should i hit her up? i could care less if she is over him or not cause if she ever talked to him again i wold walk out right there. i'm serious as a friggin heart attack. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 they fight, they make up. they fight, they make up. they fight, they make up. i just want here to contact me. UGHHH!!! what are some reasons to break nc IF i want her back? say they breakup and she doesn't contact me. after like a month or so if she isn't seeing anybody should i hit her up? i could care less if she is over him or not cause if she ever talked to him again i wold walk out right there. i'm serious as a friggin heart attack. you know her brother very well. hang out with him and take it from there. why in the world would you contact her after the breakup? its like contacting her now. you will probably just end up pushing her further away. a month after the breakup we can talk about what to do if she doesnt contact you, dont even think that far away. the problem here is that youre not trying to move on. ive said this a thousand times. if youre not healed you cant attract her back. dont have any expectations on what may happen later on. focus on yourself right now. after a while you will discover if theres any chances to reignite. since youve already talked to her girl friend, talk to her again and ask her whats up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 believe it or not i actually AM doing better. i can go longer without thinking about her but if someone says the wrong thing or the wrong song comes on staaaaaaaaaannd back. i'm not as miserable as i used to be. i don't cry hardly at all. i get more mad instead of sad. me and her brother hang out all the time. sometimes every day. i do my best not to bring her up. so far so good. i talk to her friend all the time too. half of the time she contacts me and asks how i'm doing. (we have zero interest in each other if thats wat ur thinking). she will literally tell me anything and everything that she knows. she told me she went to the store with the 2 of them and they were fighting so bad she just walked away. she told me they were in a really big fight for like a week but they made up. then they were constantly fighting and makeing up, fighting and makeing up. she also told me that she says ALL THE TIME that she misses and loves my family so much. and that they are nothing like ahole's family. this is great. cuz to me this is what i think she thinks when she says it. "i love and miss HIM (me!) so much, ahole is nothing like him." its had to of gone threw her mind. but i just think she just blocks it out and doesn't want to believe it. cuz then nothing she has done is worth it ... i don't know. one day at a time... Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 If I could only stop someone from making all the mistakes I've mad but sadly I can't, and I really mean that. Yes I also saved a girl from the ******* before, but they never lose all interest in them. All I can say its try moving on man and do it now, force it. It can only get worse. Everything your ex said to you, I've had said to me by a Ex (every single word). In simple words, women love jerks and even if she leaves him and comes back, you will never forgive her, you might pretend but things can never be the same. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 But if you must feel the need to have her back, wait until she breaks up with him and then try your luck, just call her up or hang around the brother and allow yourself to merge in. However you will find. Reading through years of threads here, rarely does the ex go back, alot of times they choose another guy. Would make sense for her to come back to you right??? But statistics prove otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author punkinless Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Hmmmmm..... thank you for your input wiseone. its hard for me to say she loves jerks cuz she, well we, were so genuine the first year. for the WHOLE year. she had plans for us. as for giving her another chance? i would. could things ever be the same as the first year? sadly no. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 exes dont come back because theyve lost interest. i've never felt that it was hard to get the interest back, whether its a few months later or 1-2 years. they dont come back because they think that they will go back to the bad last month in the relationship... its about starting fresh. most people are also doing this wrong by chasing them. they dont like jerks, no one likes a jerk. they want a man that is confident with the relationship and with himself. nice guys often have this problem "just being nice" theres nothing else there really. they dont stand up for themselves, they are not very independent. punkin, no i didnt mean that you would be interested in her friend. im just saying that she might give you some information Link to post Share on other sites
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