**GF with EX 2 days after breakup**

[punkinless]

i talked to her tonight. for like 10 minutes.

 

i pulled into bobs and sure enough she was there and was coming out of the house to leave followed by one of my guy friends. her car has been gettin beat to **** latley. been in 2 accidents in one week, niether of them her fault. so we talked about the car and how it might be totald cuz of the frame and we talked about the assh*les who hit her and how insurance works if the police are involved. JUST about that and thats it. she said she was bawling her eys out cuz she didn't know what to do. she said that a couple times.

 

meanwhile i see ahole's senior pic in the dash of her car, you know, right where mine used to be. i'm thinkin where the hell is ahole and why isn't he doing anything about this? hes prolly too busy slicking his hair down and driving his daddys truck around and being cocky. too cool this kid is. everybody hates him, idk how she likes him so much.

 

but anyways, we talked. like we were friends. pretty good at pretending huh?

 

after she left i turned to my friend and i'm like "man, karma is a real b*tch..." it's literaly the 4th time her car has givin her problems sense the BU. i also heard she is going to community college next year now. its a real shame. when we were together she was set on a school up north to be an x-ray tech... shes so smart and responsible, what a waste...

 

i know i talked to her, but in a way i'm thinking i didn't break nc, i mean i did but its almost like i didn't cuz there was no emotion and we were talking about a car. idk. i don't feel any different . . .

Edited January 7, 2012 by punkinless

[chados]

i talked to her tonight. for like 10 minutes.

 

i pulled into bobs and sure enough she was there and was coming out of the house to leave followed by one of my guy friends. her car has been gettin beat to **** latley. been in 2 accidents in one week, niether of them her fault. so we talked about the car and how it might be totald cuz of the frame and we talked about the assh*les who hit her and how insurance works if the police are involved. JUST about that and thats it. she said she was bawling her eys out cuz she didn't know what to do. she said that a couple times.

 

meanwhile i see ahole's senior pic in the dash of her car, you know, right where mine used to be. i'm thinkin where the hell is ahole and why isn't he doing anything about this? hes prolly too busy slicking his hair down and driving his daddys truck around and being cocky. too cool this kid is. everybody hates him, idk how she likes him so much.

 

but anyways, we talked. like we were friends. pretty good at pretending huh?

 

after she left i turned to my friend and i'm like "man, karma is a real b*tch..." it's literaly the 4th time her car has givin her problems sense the BU. i also heard she is going to community college next year now. its a real shame. when we were together she was set on a school up north to be an x-ray tech... shes so smart and responsible, what a waste...

 

i know i talked to her, but in a way i'm thinking i didn't break nc, i mean i did but its almost like i didn't cuz there was no emotion and we were talking about a car. idk. i don't feel any different . . .

 

 

 

well, let put it this way.. you cant ignore her if youre at her house haha... no i believe you did what was right. i strongly believe that this was her way to get something out of you. no saying its about your past. but maybe it just feels a little bit weird when youre at her house and dont talk to her.

[punkinless]

timeout.

 

it's not her house, its bobs house. i got just as much right to be there as her.

 

i think i did great but it was so wierd. it was just emotionless talk...

[chados]

timeout.

 

it's not her house, its bobs house. i got just as much right to be there as her.

 

i think i did great but it was so wierd. it was just emotionless talk...

 

 

 

well since thats his sister and she lives there, you cant really ignore her if she starts talking to you, that would be weird

[punkinless]

sorry, i got you confused.

 

 

bob has his OWN house with his girlfriend. thats it.

 

punkin lives just down the road at her DAD's house.

[chados]

sorry, i got you confused.

 

 

bob has his OWN house with his girlfriend. thats it.

 

punkin lives just down the road at her DAD's house.

 

 

ah al right, but still it gets weird to completely ignore her.

[punkinless]

well shes ignoring me too.

 

and ahole is being a cocky mo-fo lately. he drives his daddys truck around cuz he thinks it makes him a badass and punkin needed it one time to go down the road to her house and back. and hes like "you can't drive that truck, its too big for you." when she drove my dads 2011 duramax by herself all they time and it would pull this other truck around like a tin can. lol. just stupid shyt.

[linwood]

iPhone has a handle on this situation punkinless.

 

You should treat every bit of text in his post as gospel.

Every word of it.

[chados]

well shes ignoring me too.

 

and ahole is being a cocky mo-fo lately. he drives his daddys truck around cuz he thinks it makes him a badass and punkin needed it one time to go down the road to her house and back. and hes like "you can't drive that truck, its too big for you." when she drove my dads 2011 duramax by herself all they time and it would pull this other truck around like a tin can. lol. just stupid shyt.

 

 

 

hey, more focus on yourself then on what he's doing.. i have to ask you, do you still feel that going back is the right thing to do?, when you think about her, what is going through your mind then?

 

im asking because its been a while, youll probably see things much clearer now

[punkinless]

under certain circumstances yes, yes i do.

 

when i think about her i think about how for over a year everything was perfect and i couldn't be happier and she was happy too. and i remember all the promises we made each other. then i remember the falling out, and how i tried everything to make her happy and nothing work. so i blamed the BU on myself for the longest time. then i find out she was seeing her ex (a-hole) behind my back for awhile and she was on her way back to him no matter what i did. then i had to come to the realization that se was unfaithful and decietful, but i love her anyways. this was hard.

 

Now i see those two together and hes constantly a jerk and they fight all the time. no one likes him or his cocky attitude. hes immature as f*ck. he cheated on her once already and was a psyco when she left him the first time. she has a smile on her face, but i don't believe for a second shes actually happy. its like shes lieing to herself.

 

i still have feelings for punkin and she asks about me and my family all the time. i'll be there for her a long after ahole isn't so why not? would i date someone else in the meantime if the opportunity arises? you bet. would i give punkin another go whens its possible? sure. but this is where everything would be different. the love would be the same but i would be more "aware" of what shes doing. and we wouldn't spend as much time together as i would make time for my friends. if she ever contacted ahole she'd be out on her ass cuz i'd be gone.

 

idk. thats just where i'm at. living my life but still hoping she'll contact me and realize what she had was better...

[chados]

under certain circumstances yes, yes i do.

 

when i think about her i think about how for over a year everything was perfect and i couldn't be happier and she was happy too. and i remember all the promises we made each other. then i remember the falling out, and how i tried everything to make her happy and nothing work. so i blamed the BU on myself for the longest time. then i find out she was seeing her ex (a-hole) behind my back for awhile and she was on her way back to him no matter what i did. then i had to come to the realization that se was unfaithful and decietful, but i love her anyways. this was hard.

 

Now i see those two together and hes constantly a jerk and they fight all the time. no one likes him or his cocky attitude. hes immature as f*ck. he cheated on her once already and was a psyco when she left him the first time. she has a smile on her face, but i don't believe for a second shes actually happy. its like shes lieing to herself.

 

i still have feelings for punkin and she asks about me and my family all the time. i'll be there for her a long after ahole isn't so why not? would i date someone else in the meantime if the opportunity arises? you bet. would i give punkin another go whens its possible? sure. but this is where everything would be different. the love would be the same but i would be more "aware" of what shes doing. and we wouldn't spend as much time together as i would make time for my friends. if she ever contacted ahole she'd be out on her ass cuz i'd be gone.

 

idk. thats just where i'm at. living my life but still hoping she'll contact me and realize what she had was better...

 

 

 

yeah i see your point, but even if youre a better guy then him, do you really want a girl that doesnt appreciate that?, you cant choose who you love.. there will always be someone out there who would stay with a person even if the relationship is bad, and there will always be someone out there who would leave even if she loves you..

 

some people will realize theyve made a mistake, and some will just move on. thing is you dont know that she will go back to you if they brake up. i have just moved on myself, i dont even think of her anymore.. if she would come back now, i dont think i would take her back, and im in control now.. with that said, i wouldnt be sad "if" i would take her back and she left me again. so hopefully you understand what i mean by moving on

[punkinless]

congrats man. i'm proud of you.

 

i'm 89% in control of my feelings. pretty good. i don't get upset much if at all anymore. just frustrated and disappointed with her once in awile.

 

saw her again tonight. i was at bobs and she showed up without ahole. we were all playin cards. nothing exciting happened. we interacted a little bit. its like we are slowly getting used to each other. and my other best friend was there and he knows the situation and he was bringin up old memories we all had that were kick ass and she was like yeah i remember that! bless his heart. and at the same time everybody is starting to hate ahole. hes just cocky and mean and tries to fit in but we're all like "umm no." just some of things he says and does makes you go "wat da f*ck?" oh well, her problem for now.

 

but i'm headed back to college soon...

everythings gunna change for me again and i'm not sure wats gunna happen. i'll be home every weekend but dam...

[chados]

congrats man. i'm proud of you.

 

i'm 89% in control of my feelings. pretty good. i don't get upset much if at all anymore. just frustrated and disappointed with her once in awile.

 

saw her again tonight. i was at bobs and she showed up without ahole. we were all playin cards. nothing exciting happened. we interacted a little bit. its like we are slowly getting used to each other. and my other best friend was there and he knows the situation and he was bringin up old memories we all had that were kick ass and she was like yeah i remember that! bless his heart. and at the same time everybody is starting to hate ahole. hes just cocky and mean and tries to fit in but we're all like "umm no." just some of things he says and does makes you go "wat da f*ck?" oh well, her problem for now.

 

but i'm headed back to college soon...

everythings gunna change for me again and i'm not sure wats gunna happen. i'll be home every weekend but dam...

 

 

 

congrats man. i'm proud of you.

 

thanks:) yeah ive met a lot of new people, and a girl thats just amazing, problem is that she lives in the us, and shes back there now.. but she will study here later, so we'll see, also im trying to learn spanish, that would be my 5th language, i dont know, no use for all those, but i do enjoy learning.

 

well college might be good for you, new people.. i still dont like that youre hanging out with her. i know its hard not to do, but damn how will you ever get over her if you dont?..

[punkinless]

i don't go looking for her. it just happens.

 

how will i get over her? well i'm prolly not going to in the near future.

 

im pretty sure shes startin to realize what she threw away and other people notice it too...

 

i'm not quite ready to throw in the towel.

[punkinless]

alright. we got big doins goin on...

 

the other night, what was it, saturday, when i talked with her a little bit with my friend about her car, she almost called me that night. like had my number dialed just had to hit send, but she didn't. ahole was being an assh0le (go figure) and she just about did it. it woulda just been for her own benifit but hey, you gotta start somewhere.

 

then tonight, shyt almost hit the fan. i'm at bob's playin cards (suprise suprise) and she shows up with ahole and her best friend (who i'm in good with). i don't let it bother me and just continue with the night. i was really talkitive and he kept his wh0re mouth shut for the most part. me and punkin lock eyes more than once. which isn't a big deal but usually she looks around me and not at me.

 

those 3 leave and soon i get a text from her friend sayin get ahold of me when u leave bobs. so i did and then she tells me that punkin caught ahole txtin his ex! punkin went right home and kept saying "i'm SO done." knowing that she almost called me the other night over almost nothing i was like oh shyt shes gunna contact me.... tonight! but she didn't. i soon got a txt from the friend saying they're fine now... ahole told her that "she always txts him but he never txts her back..." my ass he doesn't!

 

i'm not gunna get caught up in this drama tho. mostley cause i shouldn't know any of this. but i guess she just she needs to see it herself for a SECOND time that ahole is an ahole and i'm not. and she is seeing this and obviously missing me. its just a matter of time. i'm not gunna lie, if something happens i can't wait to see ahole completely out of all my friends lives. bob might actually start a new job WORKING with ahole. obvioulsy i'm not ok with this cause they are already too close for me but its not up to me. ughhh. i'm knee deep in shyt!

[chados]

when i talked with her a little bit with my friend about her car, she almost called me that night

 

so wait, he can text his ex but she cant text you about helping with the car?, jealousness.. this is not something that will help him.

 

 

me and punkin lock eyes more than once. which isn't a big deal but usually she looks around me and not at me.

 

be careful with this.. she could get the wrong message , even if she's just as guilty as you. you know when two people lock eyes.. if one person isn't interested, they believe that the other is staring at them. "at least thats what they want to believe"

 

 

i was really talkitive and he kept his wh0re mouth shut for the most part

 

this is great.. you shouldn't be quiet, you will look much more secure and confident.. if youre quiet you will just show up as weak.

 

 

i'm not gunna get caught up in this drama tho. mostley cause i shouldn't know any of this.

 

but you are.. no you shouldnt know any of this, because no matter what youll be hearing you will try to figuring why she did or said that, and it will drive you insane. i dont think she knows it herself to be honest. people tend to think way to much when it comes to a relationship, especially woman.. so dont try to figure out anything

[punkinless]

well my sleep schedule is wayyy off so i'm still up...

 

it just seems like this is a turning point to me.

 

all this stuff that is happening is good for me, no?

[chados]

well my sleep schedule is wayyy off so i'm still up...

 

it just seems like this is a turning point to me.

 

all this stuff that is happening is good for me, no?

 

 

well like i said, i doubt they will last. time will tell i guess

[ZimboGon]

They dated for 2 years? She left you for him? He's obviously doing something right. They must have a strong connection that can't be matched, and thats history.

 

Dude, listen to yourself. You make yourself feel better by saying they won't last and they will break-up, giving yourself these delusions that she will come back one day. She was your first love, i get that. It happens. But people LOSE their first love sometimes. You know how sometimes you talk to older people about their love life, and they get all sentimental and say "Oh, back then i thought she was the one..."

 

Thats it. She obviously doesn't have the correct priorities. You don't know exactly what she thinks. For all you know, she could have exaggerated what he 'did' to her to make you feel better and not to worry about her ex. People lie. Love fades. People leave.

 

Bro, i understand having faith. I do. I had nothing but that with my ex left. She left me for some pathetic guy who was a downgrade in every way. He took advantage of her insecurities to get with her. We split for 2 months, and what did i do?

 

I worked on myself. I worked out, toned my body, grew a goatee, changed my style, hung out with my friends. I regained the confidence i lost. I became my former self. I was a prize, and she'd be lucky if she got that. I was confident in myself and that i was more important to her than anyone else, so i contacted her with pride. I looked down on that sack of slob she left me for, and if anyone like that gets in my way again... I won't be so laid back.

 

However, i don't see that in your case with all honesty. You can't sit around and wait for them to break up. They've already dated for 2 years. If she did come to you afterwards, it would just be as a security blanket and she would leave you again.

 

You can do better. You can find someone WORTH your obsession because man, first loves come and go. Not everyone stays with the first person they fall in love with. It takes two special people.

 

Remember, you weren't her first love. She went back to her first love. If that was the case, she didn't value you.

 

 

... i mean honestly, you remind me of myself the first week or so after my break-up. Your story sounds very similar to mine, except for a few huge key points. But it took me only a week to realize what i had to do. You need to stop being so pathetic and build up some confidence for yourself. You are better than them. You can make yourself better. There is NO reason to pine over someone SO MUCH. For god sakes man, you wrote this in november. The wound can't still be completely open can it? STOP seeing her. STOP interacting with her. STOP seeing her brother. Thats what i did. LIVE your life. LEARN what you really want.

Edited January 11, 2012 by ZimboGon

[ZimboGon]

And man, this is coming from someone YOUR age. Listen to me.

 

She was my best friends sister.

I was a senior, she was a sophomore.

We dated for 16 months.

I took her to my prom.

 

But, i can honestly say after reading all this... I DO NOT SEE IT HAPPENING. I'm sorry.

[chados]

And man, this is coming from someone YOUR age. Listen to me.

 

She was my best friends sister.

I was a senior, she was a sophomore.

We dated for 16 months.

I took her to my prom.

 

But, i can honestly say after reading all this... I DO NOT SEE IT HAPPENING. I'm sorry.

 

 

 

"There is NO reason to pine over someone SO MUCH"

 

well to be all fair, this was you like 1 day ago.. making new treads about every single thing she did... you really think its great to change yourself that much in such short amount of time? is this really you?, he might act pathetic yes and its normal, but you dont think its pathetic to completely change your whole lifestyle just because of her?

 

she dumped you for another guy, even if the guy in this tread isnt making as much progress as you doesnt mean that it will work out for you, at least he has got some distance from the relationship.

[ZimboGon]

"There is NO reason to pine over someone SO MUCH"

 

well to be all fair, this was you like 1 day ago.. making new treads about every single thing she did... you really think its great to change yourself that much in such short amount of time? is this really you?, he might act pathetic yes and its normal, but you dont think its pathetic to completely change your whole lifestyle just because of her?

 

she dumped you for another guy, even if the guy in this tread isnt making as much progress as you doesnt mean that it will work out for you, at least he has got some distance from the relationship.

 

Not to be offensive, but you should read all my threads before you say that. I've been here for 2 months, and the majority of what i've written has to do with myself and my outlook and how i have changed and grown. At first, two months ago yes i talked all about what happened. But what did i do? If you read all my threads i spoke about nothing else but having faith in myself.

 

I knew i was a strong, motivated person. Sure, i had a desire to have her back, but it didn't stop me from improving my life. I had plenty of distance. I shut her out after the break-up, i told her to move on and forget about me as she was dead to me. I didn't talk to her for months as i worked on myself and figured out what i really wanted with myself.

 

I never changed my lifestyle. I was a strong person, and when i had that fear of losing her i threw away my pride and dignity and acted like a fool to be with her. After all that, and two months have passed i have returned to my former self with a new, better perspective.

 

The reason i even contacted her was my confidence and high self-esteem. I knew she still loved me. I had no doubt in my mind. When i heard word that she thought i hated her, i saw it only as an obstacle and made myself open to her once more.

 

My view with punkin here, however is that it won't work out. Our story is different. She went back to her previous ex, and from what it sounds like he is lying to himself about them and what he sees to make himself feel better. It was how i was for a period of time, however not nearly as long because it really does make you hold out and not work on yourself. I can relate to this story, but it really does seem that this 'ahole' as he puts it has won. If she wanted to come back, she would. Or at least she would ditch this guy. However she has made no effort to do so. Judging by the history she shares with this guy, there could be a number of reasons why. Reasons no one but them know and share.

 

In reality punkinless, you see what you want to see to make yourself feel better. You should look at it logically. Its been enough time for that. I'm sure it makes you feel horrible living with the thought that she won't come back, but that is something you have to prepare yourself or else it may end in a hard, hard fall. Something i personally predict for you.

 

The difference between us, chados is that i never doubted anything. I understood what happened and i knew what to take from it. I always remained sure in myself that i was the person who made her the happiest, and i was the person who wanted to do it the most. If anyone get in my way, then they be damned.

 

Unfortunately, i honestly see reason to doubt in this story. I see several red flags.

[chados]

"Not to be offensive, but you should read all my threads before you say that. I've been here for 2 months, and the majority of what i've written has to do with myself and my outlook and how i have changed and grown. At first, two months ago yes i talked all about what happened. But what did i do? If you read all my threads i spoke about nothing else but having faith in myself. "

 

 

thing is , i have read your treads, and youre not being offensive.. and im really not trying to be offensive either. yes i believe you can be a stronger person after 2 months but the problem is still there... my friends girlfriend cheated on him, told him she didnt wanted him anymore, he didnt talk to her for 3 months and she came back after 6 months, theyve just recently broke up after a year in an unhealthy relationship. problem was still there. not the fact that she cheated on him, but rather the fact that they still where the same, and get this.. they are 26

 

 

 

" I had plenty of distance. I shut her out after the break-up, i told her to move on and forget about me as she was dead to me."

 

 

just because someone runs back to you doesnt mean the will stay with you, 2 months is nothing.. the past hasnt been forgotten in just 2 months.

 

 

 

"The reason i even contacted her was my confidence and high self-esteem. I knew she still loved me"

 

 

yes she loves you, she might still do.. but that doesnt mean she will stay. thing is, ive actually told you that she's probably going to come back, if you tell a 17 years old girl that you dont want her anymore.. well it might be very hard for her to take in.

 

 

 

" If she wanted to come back, she would. Or at least she would ditch this guy. "

 

 

she could come back, even if it takes 1 year.. he should not wait for her, but it would me much easier to start from scratch after that period of time.

 

 

 

 

"The difference between us, chados is that i never doubted anything. I understood what happened and i knew what to take from it. I always remained sure in myself that i was the person who made her the happiest, "

 

 

 

it was her first real relationship, yes you made her happy.. but she doesnt really know whats out there.

 

 

 

 

anyway i wish you the best, just make sure youre doing whats right for you and not for her.

[ZimboGon]

You are mistaken, though. She didn't come back. I reached out to her and convinced her to do so. Otherwise that would have been the end of our relationship together. The past doesn't have to be forgotten. It SHOULDN'T be forgotten, or the same mistakes occur.

 

What matters is how you take the past and what decisions you make to better it with the future.

[chados]

You are mistaken, though. She didn't come back. I reached out to her and convinced her to do so. Otherwise that would have been the end of our relationship together. The past doesn't have to be forgotten. It SHOULDN'T be forgotten, or the same mistakes occur.

 

What matters is how you take the past and what decisions you make to better it with the future.

 

 

thats not what im talking about, im talking about forgiving, and its really hard to believe that the other person has changed because "he" wanted to and not because she forced you to do that... its been 2 months? and youre saying that she would never come back if you didnt reach out, trust me on this, if she wanted you back so badly she would have told you. she's miserable with her new relationship.. well go figure. that doesnt mean youre going back together, and even if you are, it might not last that long.. the only thing im trying to say is that you should take it very slow.