carebear87 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) Yesterday was a terrible day. It has almost been five months since my ex broke up with me. I've been doing alright with coping, and even talked to her on the phone a few weeks ago. I am 26, she is 24. She went on a "trip" with a 50 yo man at the beginning of June and nothing was the same after that. While she swore they did absolutely nothing, my intuition always told me differently. So yesterday, I was looking at pictures she had sent me months ago. One caught my eye, in particular. It was her alone in what seemed to be a classy hotel room. A quick google search of the town I knew she went with the old man revealed a bombshell. The link is here: http://www.bigbendholidayhotel.com/cinnabar.html It is a 100% match and it has had me devastated all over again for the past 24 hours. I am just so pissed off and in pain, all over again. I cried last night for the first time since immediately following the breakup. We were planning on meeting up for a drink over Thanksgiving. I was actually cool with just chilling and having a good time, but now I don't know what to do. I feel I have to let her know, once and for all, that she is a liar. But that probably won't do any good. Please help. Edited November 22, 2011 by carebear87 Link to post Share on other sites
Author carebear87 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 replies please Link to post Share on other sites
bbronco Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Sorry that you found this out carebear...I'm in a similar situation with my ex, although I feel like I'm being cheated on during the breakup. He tells me he wants to get back together and really cares, but in actuality isn't taking any actions to reconcile and has been seeing his ex before me! He claims that she means nothing to him and nothing is going on but I also am debating calling him out for being a liar. Based on advice from everyone here and my friends though, the best thing to do is not call them out on it. If anything it will make them defensive and they'll deny it..even though you have solid proof, if you are planning to ever get back together then mentioning the new not so secret person in their life will mean that it's pretty much over for good. You're calling them out and putting them in an uncomfortable place and I'm sure they'll be put off by the snooping and prying in their life while you've been broken up. It's hard but again if you are ok with it being over for good, then by all means go ahead and relieve the built up tension of knowing what you know by calling her out. I wish I could do the same with my guy but I stupidly still want him back...and until I can comfortably call him out on it with hopes of an honest explanation...I just have to act like I don't know anything. Link to post Share on other sites
harvej Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 I met a women 35, who was a massage therapist and single mother. I was married. I got her a job at my company,and she eventually started flirting with me and long story short, i fell for it, and her. I got seperated and was dealing with the entangled mess of a divorce for 3 years. During this time we had arguments for which I found out later, she slept with other men,always blaming it on me and some text i would send telling her I was close to ending things unless she stopped behaving with over the top pressure, asking me to pay her bills and simply treating me like a bitch. Her kid was a nightmare and had severe spoiled issues. So I was slow to move her in,and wanted to be divorceed before moving her into a house I shared with my ex for 15 years. My ex needed time to relocate, so she was using the house and her side of the living quarters whiel in town. She finally evacuated and I asked my girlfriend to move in as she bugged me for a year. Take in mind, this niave girl came from a poor background, know nothing about finance,mortgages, settlements, and many other negotiated elemenst of adivorce. All she knows is what SHE WANTS and NOW! As bad luck would have it I was diagnosed with cancer stage 2, in October and told her. She went almost NC on me after that unless i physicaly went to her house. She acted distant when i would get there. After weeks of this behaviour, I tried NC. She never responed so i broke NC and reached out. She said she was conflicted and I was low on her favorite list. Still no concern about my failing health at all. Then one day I decided I was going to add a trust fund for her daughter in the event I die,and that it would be a legacy i could live with. I went over to her house as she would not answer my phoen calls. A strange truck was there. She then pulled up and got out with another guy and her daughter with loads of items he perchased for her. I asked who he was and learned it was her client and "friend" andthey had just staretd hanging out that week. She again said she thought we were broken up and said she was sorry. I just could have fainted right there. I then came over the next morning and she broke up with me. She said she was going to hang with her new friend and she hadnt felt love for me in a long time. She said she didnt feel that she was abandoning me when she learned I had cancer, because she was "already gone" when I told her. I since found out she was pending the night with her friend that very Saturday night, in less than a week of dating! I have not heard from her since! I talked to her friend who informed me that she has a history of jumping from one guy to the next with NO DOWN TIME. She moves in quickly with them. I also found out her last boyfriend gave her STD. I checked out clean already. I assume she is a golddigger but her new man has no money as either did the other two. I am well off myself due to hard work and smart investing, but I did not pay all her bills which seemed to be the main topic between us always..So i assume she has low self esteeem and is lower class than i thought. At any rate, I am also liek you, going thru emotions and wondering why i let myself get involved with her, ruin my marriage, cheat on me several times and took her back and offered her a house to share and a trust fund for her kid. I know I am a fool and may already be doomed to end my life on a sour note when it comes to love, but you have a lifetime to move on. Believe me, had i known i was dying, i would have not wasted anytime with her nor accepted the post pain breakup pain i saddled myself with by staying with her. Move on and move on fast! Life is too short for toxic people. My only regret is not understanding this type of person and what kind of person could say they love you for 5 years then bail when you tell them you have cancer, and act like she is happy with her new love, all in less than a week! I feel sorry for her rebound boyfriend, but he knows what he is getting into. Good luck and farewell my friend! Let the past die, live for the future while you still can! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Just tell yourself, you dodged a bullet... and shrug it off and focus on your life now Link to post Share on other sites
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