Feel like I'm starting my life over.

[BigDumbFoot]

Has anyone ever been in the position after a breakup where they feel like they are starting their entire life anew? For the past 7 years it feels like my life has been about her (big mistake, I know). Before I started seeing her I lived at home with my dad for 19 years.. This is the first time I've ever really been on my own.. I mean, I have roommates but they don't really provide the same kind of support that parents/spouse provide. And so now that I'm living for myself I kind of don't really know what the **** I'm doing. Since the breakup I've really been questioning everything that I did for the past 7 years. Was it really what I wanted to do? Or was I just following/pleasing her? I really don't know.. I guess this is what they might call a quarter life crisis. Has anyone else ever experienced what I'm going through? Where, literally, everything you've known has suddenly come into question?

[rnadom32]

Yes. Youve been alive 25 years. 7 of which were spent with someone you love. Its going to feel very weird. May even feel like a part of you has died. This is natural. Make sure you take time to explore why you arent more whole as a person without her. Nothing can change what has happened. NOTHING.

 

A lot of people will tell you stuff to try and help you move on. The truth is, nothing will really help right now. People will be mostly indifferent. Your friends will listen, but they will never really know what you feel.

 

Now is the time for you to do some heavy soul searching. Take your time. Don't rush into another relationship. Don't have casual sex thinking it will help, because it wont. Deep down, youre looking for what you lost.

 

The key is to realize that the love you had is just that. YOURS. It has little to do with another person. Your capacity to stick with someone for years speaks well of you. Trust me. When women find out you stayed with the same girl for so long, they will think well of you.

 

Take what youve learned from this relationship, and apply it to the next one. That is really all you can do.

[BigDumbFoot]

Thanks bro. I'm also considering changing my career at this point because I basically went to school in order to have the same career as she did.. I went to school to teach, but I really don't want to be a teacher. I think I have too much talent to simply teach (no offense to any teachers out there). I need to 'do' something with my skills.. But I'm having a hard time figuring out what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life :X.. Yes, soul searching is definitely a must at this point!

[ChelseaLS]

I don't feel like that and I am 27, with my this previous ex for 6 years... but my mom says she feels like that and she says its scary.

[AlexisMacabre]

i know exactly what you are going through, i started my relationship with my husband very young, i got pregnant and left my parents and moved in with him so everything we did was on our own for ourselves with some help from his mom but besides that everything has always been him and i just took care of the baby, i believed that we would make it through everything until about a month in a half ago he suddenly left me and said he didnt love me anymore, how someone can just go from saying they love you one day to not loving you the next, idk but i was torn up, i didnt know what i was going to do and i felt so lonely but now im feeling better and im starting to figure out who im going to be without him, he wants to see if the grass is greener well i can already tell its not going to be for him but im letting him go, who knows what the future holds but i know how you feel!

[nonameone]

I'm not as young as you (at all) but I do feel like I'm starting my life over. Whether it be a husband, a child, or both, I've had someone in my life- not friends, but a family. I haven't lived alone in an apartment for 28 years. I have some friends, but many I've lost as a result of breaking up (the exes got the friends that were a function of geography.)

 

In my last relationship we did a lot of activities together- I'm now faced with doing those alone or finding people to do them with. Going to hawaii with a partner is very different than going with a friend.

 

The lack of an intimate partner or children in my home makes me feel so alone and there seems to be a big hole in my heart.Coming home to an empty apartment is lonely. I miss my house. I miss people in my house.

 

I just can't see myself ever liking this situation. Nothing seems meaningful. My one child is in another country so having a her over for dinner can't happen.

 

I'm starting over as a truly single person. Right now I don't like it and I don't see myself liking it. It seems like a shallow existance. But I know I have to give it time. Trying to fill it with another person isn't the answer.