sunflower11 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 For those doing NC, when did you stop feeling the urge to contact them? I'm around the 2 week mark which is usually when I break NC It's been brewing inside for 2 days now and I feel like I'm going crazy and I have to call him...just wanted to get some insight. I know I have to keep going..I'm trying to make it to a month at least! Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 The longest ive went was 3 weeks, he breaks it each time, i stupidly respond. Not this time, Im sticking to it hard because everyday i don't hear from is a easy normal day. When i get breadcrumbs it sends the head into a whirl, now i prefer nc and normal days so ill not be responding xx I found around day 10 hard and again at 3 weeks, when i say hard i mean unbearable. It gets easier though Link to post Share on other sites
bbronco Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I wish I could tell you...we broke up 4 months ago after 2 years and the longest I've been able to stay NC is 3 weeks. It's the worst when I travel for work...the first night in a hotel room by yourself is the hardest! Right now I'm going on 2 weeks this Thursday...I think the only thing keeping me from making contact is that I really did everything I could possibly do. I can't have him over for dinner, pour my heart out, listen to him cry and say the same...and then come back whimpering again after 2 weeks asking wth happened to him and that I still care. When the person knows you care and where you stand and they know the obvious hurt they put you through by not responding or communicating at all essentially...then why continue to flatter them with your feelings. Honestly...I got "chin-up and I'll talk to you soon"...how does that equate to no reaching out after 2 weeks? And who the hell says chin-up anymore who's not a grandpa figure in a movie lol Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 I am one year into NC, though sometimes I want to call her, the urge isonlyslight. For me the day to day struggle to break nc stopped at about the three month mark. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 It was difficult for the first month and we both relapsed often. With the second month came slow acceptance of the situation. By the end of the third month, any impulses to contact him stopped completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 When the person knows you care and where you stand and they know the obvious hurt they put you through by not responding or communicating at all essentially...then why continue to flatter them with your feelings. Honestly...I got "chin-up and I'll talk to you soon"...how does that equate to no reaching out after 2 weeks? And who the hell says chin-up anymore who's not a grandpa figure in a movie lol This is specially close to my heart cause he would tell me all these things, "you are wonderful, you are so thoughtful, you are selfless, im sure you will be hurt for a bit but then you will move on, you will be ok"...and i was like what the heck?! arghhh and then he just ignored me completely after the break up. Not a single peep from him since BU..its all been from me which is why I am really trying to stick to NC this time it's just hard as hell. Sometimes I just want to hear his voice that's all... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 23, 2011 Author Share Posted November 23, 2011 It was difficult for the first month and we both relapsed often. With the second month came slow acceptance of the situation. By the end of the third month, any impulses to contact him stopped completely. Thanks cerridwen..I have been hearing from others that the first month is the hardest cause to me its like a withdrawal..the urge comes and goes but when its there its so intense! Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 For those doing NC, when did you stop feeling the urge to contact them? I'm around the 2 week mark which is usually when I break NC It's been brewing inside for 2 days now and I feel like I'm going crazy and I have to call him...just wanted to get some insight. I know I have to keep going..I'm trying to make it to a month at least! Sunflower, honey, do not break NC! You are two weeks strong, you're doing so well, do not cave. I know for certain that you can get over this "hump", you just have to grit your teeth a little -- or bite the bullet -- and do your best to make it past the first rough night or two. Trust me, I've been where you've been -- continually checking my e-mails and phone for any sign of him. But I always knew what the end result would be before I even attemped any of those things: nothing. And yes, it did hurt, and yes, I did end up crawling into my bed afterwards and lying there thinking why I didn't stop myself when I had the chance. So I'm telling you now that if you want to prevent yourself from breaking NC again, you could try to close your eyes and imagine youself doing it. Sounds odd, but that's what would help me. To imagine myself, without actually doing it, breaking NC and going through the motions of eventually causing myself so much pain. Once I managed to do that and opened my eyes, it almost felt real, and I reminded myself that I would only hurt myself again if I broke NC. I stopped really feeling the urge to contact 'him' after about two or three months. It was still there, just not as strong. But yes, trying to make it to a month is a good goal, and after that, you'll have proved to yourself that you can do it. Stay strong, sunflower. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Aw, I remember those urges. They DO go away but can be such torture in the meantime! You can do this, sunflower. It's an exercise in self-control. It's tougher than any diet, any workout, but once it's over, you'll feel so strong. Keep shooting for going NC for one month. Watch. This will get increasingly easier. Once you pass the 2 week mark, and start the third week, the pattern will be broken! I bet you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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