Is it normal to want to screw every woman in the world before you get married?

[sing4me]

No sex or groping so far? that says to me that you anticipate it.You should do the right thing towards this woman and tell her you aren't ready. She is probably a good girl and chances are you will either cheat now or sometime in the marriage. A lot of men would tell you that this is a natural feeling before marriage nut not true. This is only a natural feeling if you aren't ready or if you aren't sure if she is " the one" Flirting is not harmless, with the feelings you are having it will most likely lead to cheating, besides I came to the impression that you are thinking about it and that is just as bad.

Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.

[sing4me]

Originally posted by md_matt

"Loved" is bad English on my part; I'm mixing tenses. I've had a professional therapist tell my fiancee and I that prior to getting married you can expect to have "dreams" about your past affairs. Whether or not she was trying to subtlely tell us that we'd be pushing boundaries, I don't know.

The therapist was telling you that if you should have a passing thought or two about "what might have been" in past relationship, don't freak out. She was not saying anything about pushing boudaries or running out and screwing everything you can. "pushing boundaries" mmm.. a term I used quite regularly when raising my children. Think about this when those boundaries are pushed or crossed they(my children) had to pay the concequences. As an adult you are expected to have learned to set boundaries for yourself. I'm not trying to be mean but maybe this isn't about her or your love for her. Is it possible your parent's didn't set strong enough boundariesand that is what this is all about?

Do some soul searching and maybe you will find the root of the problem.

[fredrolin]

I am a married man and I fantasize and usually have sexual thoughts about most of the women I see.

 

But they are just thoughts. If it came down to actually having sex with them I probably woundn't do it.

 

1) any chick that is "slutty" or "easy" is probably dirty and I would fear catching a STD.

 

2) any chick that is decent is going to want more than just a "wham-bam-thank you ma'am" and I am not going to give up my current life and family just for some sex.

 

Sex is so overrated. I think about it alot and the wife and I don't do it often. But when we do have sex it's great, but at this point in my life there are more important things that matter.

[sinner]

Sex is so overrated.

 

 

But as Milton Berle used to say:

 

 

Sex is overrated, but can you imagine where everything else stands?

[sing4me]

Originally posted by fredrolin

I am a married man and I fantasize and usually have sexual thoughts about most of the women I see.

 

But they are just thoughts. If it came down to actually having sex with them I probably woundn't do it.

 

1) any chick that is "slutty" or "easy" is probably dirty and I would fear catching a STD.

 

2) any chick that is decent is going to want more than just a "wham-bam-thank you ma'am" and I am not going to give up my current life and family just for some sex.

 

Sex is so overrated. I think about it alot and the wife and I don't do it often. But when we do have sex it's great, but at this point in my life there are more important things that matter.

 

First of all let's talk about judgement : what he calls slutty you might call sexy. Sometimes women like to dress exy but that doesn't mean they are sluts, anyway the real issue.

Are you saying that fear of an STD is the only reason for not cheating? Kind of sounded like it until the end of your posting when you said "but at this point in my life there are more important things that matter" That sounds like maturity to me and probably makes your sex better when you and the wife do have it ( less pressure)

[fredrolin]

STD's and losing my home and family are the reasons I wouldn't cheat.

 

If I could get away with it and the woman was clean....I would cheat in a second.

[sing4me]

That makes me very sad for you and all those that feel that way. Even more so for your wife. Maybe you should let her know that you feel this way. It will do 1 of 2 things. It will make her realize that you need more spice in your sex life or it will make her furious and well........ who knows what!

[sinner]

If I could get away with it and the woman was clean....I would cheat in a second.

 

 

I tip my hat to your candor.

 

Now, as pennance, you must watch Dr. Phil for 48 hours straight.

[deesgirl]

So Fred, if you crushed your wife's heart and trust but she wouldn't leave you, you'd cheat? You say STD's and what you would lose, but you don't think about what it would do to your wife and children? What a lucky family you have.

[sing4me]

Dr PHil,

Oh no that's pretty severe.Men need to learn how to present their wife with how they feel. You might be surprised to find out that maybe she feels the same way. hey maybe she would be opened minded enough to agree to some spice. Never know but most men would rather cheat than ask.

[Neptune]

Just goes to show, the married want to be single and the single....well, some have doubts about getting married

[Leah]

After having read your initial post and subsequent responses to others, I believe you would make your girlfriend's life by breaking off with her NOW !!

 

You've got some serious issues fella.... I wouldnt wish you on the worst slut in the world... after all... it takes one to know one, and you seem to spot them straight off

[westernxer]

Why do you think God created bachelor parties?

[Leah]

I know the answer to that question !! So one slut can bang another

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by westernxer

Why do you think God created bachelor parties?

 

I did not.

[Leah]

Ha ha !! Well, I suppose God told you, Westernxer ... (about bachelor paties) !!

[westernxer]

Originally posted by d'Arthez

I did not.

 

HAHAHA. Pretty clever.

[New_Wife]

Just before we got married, my husband went through a really bizarre phase. He had never been much of a pornster, and hadn't really been a big player, but all of the sudden he went into a quasi-mourning period for his singledom. Next thing you know, after having talked about it and agreeing that it was not a thing to do in a committed relationship - I find a buttload of porn on his computer. To say I was shocked is like saying Tom Cruise won't see a much-needed psychologist anytime soon.

 

I was hurt, I was shocked, and I was left wondering if I wasn't enough. Now I don't want to start the great Loveshack Porn debate part XXXIIVIV, but for ME and ME ALONE this was not okay. And it was something that as a couple we had already talked about and agreed upon.

 

Did he think about nailing other women? I imagine so. He told our premarital counselor that sometimes he just missed doing the things he'd done before and the idea of just one person for the rest of his life freaked him out now and then - even though he knew I was that one person he wanted to be with the rest of his life.

 

We got through it, and he came to understand how I felt about it and why. I also understood a little bit of his freak-out, marriage is a HUGE step.

 

So, is it normal? I don't know. It appears to be normal for you.

 

Is it healthy? Probably not if it's causing you turmoil and guilt. I would suggest that you take your fiance to some premarital counseling, because I SWEAR TO YOU, it helps ease some of the anxiety, and teach you to really communicate better over some of the awkward stuff.

 

I don't think that the desire that may occur lightly when you see an attractive person ever goes away. Shoot, I'm sure my husband still notices lovely young things, and I can't say I'm blind to handsome men. But it's what you do or don't do that really defines you. He's welcome to sneak a peek at the pretties, and I don't fuss over it. He's respectful about it and still tells me how sexy he thinks I am.