Looking for Her.

[Heinrich]

Hey everyone.

My name is John. I'm 20 years old and am a music major. I have only had one girlfriend and it lasted 2 weeks in the 9th grade.

I have had plenty of opportunities to date others, however, I always get stuck.

I feel as if I am searching for my wife... not a girlfriend. I am looking for a serious / long term relationship or ... not really even that .. just am looking for someone that I could see myself marrying. I feel as if I am making too big a deal over it all and am "trying" too hard. I have never been someone who lusted after physical intimacy.. and I would never just date someone for the sex.

I tend to fall pretty hard for girls that I can't ever seem to get. I am confident, good looking (so others have told me), have a bright future and am a pretty good musician. I feel like I could be PERFECT for someone... I just can't find her.

 

Before I go on.. how many times have you heard that last statement.. Probably 50 billion times..

 

I know people say to have patience and that they will eventually show themselves... however... I have been extremely patient. I stayed single.. by choice.. from 9th grade until now... so for the past 5 years... I haven't tried super hard to find her... just been waiting and hoping she would show up.

 

Is there something I could be doing differently? Anyone know of any tips or advice on waiting? Should I continue holding out for her? In my opinion, it will be worth it.. because

A. my wife is going to find it super romantic that I waited on her.

B. my wife isn't going to know wtf hit her.. like real talk.. when I find her.. I'm going to pour everything onto her. She will literally be the Queen of my life.. and I don't mean in the sense that I have no backbone and just let her walk and run the relationship.. I mean in the sense that.. I am going to do so many romantic things for her.

 

This will give you an idea of how much of a hopeless romantic I am.

I want to play her music... serenade her with it...

My ideal date is a horse drawn carriage around a bustling town.. in the winter.. with it snowing and we just sit there cuddled up and drink coffee and talk.

I want to spend nights just staying awake.. laying beside each other... not necessarily even talking, just being together... and feeling each other's presence.

 

Normally, I wouldn't have posted here or joined the forum.. I would've just gone on with my life...

however, I am getting impatient. I feel like I've waited my fair share and am now just yearning that relationship.

Anyone else gone through this?

[soozie86]

I was in a similar situation five years ago when I was 20. I did have opportunities to date and go out with people who fancied me but I just found that there was no real connection and I wanted to wait until I met someone who I felt was my soul mate.

 

Fast forward two years and I met a great guy quite unexpectedly, we became great friends and a month after we met we began dating. We now have been dating for three years in February. Anyway the point I’m trying to make with my story is that you will meet someone eventually who you will just click with. Don’t get too stressed about being single and forcing trying to find someone. Just enjoy your life and meet new people and eventually you will meet the one.

 

I think the only negative of not having a long term relationship until you are in your 20’s is that it can make you a little naive. I was very much like you, very romantic etc. However, life is not always like it is in the movies and every second of a relationship can’t be a romantic love scene. It took me a while to learn that lol.

[nowwhatnow]

i feel like am i like you. I could be an amazing girlfriend to someone, but I just have not found the right guy.

 

I dated someone for two years and he dumped me - he kinda went a little crazy in the end. since then it has been over a year and i still have not found anyone i have liked even nearly as much as him.

 

i do go out and meet a lot of people, but no one has given me that same feeling he gave me the first time we met.

 

if you ever figure it out, lemme know!

[Heinrich]

I am trying to learn how to just go with flow... I suppose.

I feel as if I don't even know how to start with a girl.. In the sense of dating..

I have a date tomorrow, however, the girl I'm going out with has a "friend with benefits" and told me that they have some mutual attraction between them.

I guess girls often see me as the "brother" or "friend" because I am such a gentleman.

I try and take all of the necessary precautions to not get "friend or family zoned" , however, it still happens.

I refuse to conform and change my own personality, just to find someone...

Why do girls seem to friend zone gentleman?

 

I guess it is probably either I'm picking A. the wrong girls or B. the right one just hasn't come yet. I know it's a mixture of both... but I don't honestly pursue girls that are like this.

 

I want a girl who loves music... isn't afraid to be goofy or be themselves.

I don't like girls who don't eat in front of guys... I want someone that is talented... and has confidence in their talent.

I also want someone that is uplifting and positive. Someone that isn't afraid to initiate intimacy.

1 year ago, I found a girl and we became sort of FWB's and one time, we were just making out in the back seat of my car and out of nowhere, she just straddled me and it, real talk, took my breath away.

We stopped for a few seconds... looked into each others eyes and I took a deep breath to catch my breath... when I breathed in, I breathed in her exhale...

It might sound weird, but it was extremely intimate and amazing. When I was about to drop her off back at her place, she actually made mention to that exact moment and teased me for losing my breath.

 

That is what I am looking for again... I got a small small view of what I wanted... Not that I want that specific girl, however, I want that euphoria and magic that seemed to happen in that moment.

 

The girl I was with, wasn't interested in a relationship and eventually, since I went back to college out of state, she started dating someone else.

 

@nowwhatnow - Do you have skype or something? I would love to get to know you. : )

Edited November 25, 2011 by Heinrich

[nowwhatnow]

I am trying to learn how to just go with flow... I suppose.

I feel as if I don't even know how to start with a girl.. In the sense of dating..

I have a date tomorrow, however, the girl I'm going out with has a "friend with benefits" and told me that they have some mutual attraction between them.

I guess girls often see me as the "brother" or "friend" because I am such a gentleman.

I try and take all of the necessary precautions to not get "friend or family zoned" , however, it still happens.

I refuse to conform and change my own personality, just to find someone...

Why do girls seem to friend zone gentleman?

 

I guess it is probably either I'm picking A. the wrong girls or B. the right one just hasn't come yet. I know it's a mixture of both... but I don't honestly pursue girls that are like this.

 

I want a girl who loves music... isn't afraid to be goofy or be themselves.

I don't like girls who don't eat in front of guys... I want someone that is talented... and has confidence in their talent.

I also want someone that is uplifting and positive. Someone that isn't afraid to initiate intimacy.

1 year ago, I found a girl and we became sort of FWB's and one time, we were just making out in the back seat of my car and out of nowhere, she just straddled me and it, real talk, took my breath away.

We stopped for a few seconds... looked into each others eyes and I took a deep breath to catch my breath... when I breathed in, I breathed in her exhale...

It might sound weird, but it was extremely intimate and amazing. When I was about to drop her off back at her place, she actually made mention to that exact moment and teased me for losing my breath.

 

That is what I am looking for again... I got a small small view of what I wanted... Not that I want that specific girl, however, I want that euphoria and magic that seemed to happen in that moment.

 

The girl I was with, wasn't interested in a relationship and eventually, since I went back to college out of state, she started dating someone else.

 

@nowwhatnow - Do you have skype or something? I would love to get to know you. : )

 

but of course

 

what sort of music do you play?