dassme Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Hello everyone! I haven't posted her for quite some time but now I'm back with a question. I've been with my GF for almost 8 months now. We've been having our ups and downs lately and I think it's starting to get to her because she starting to distance herself from me. She doesn't call as much anymore and if she does, she's only returning mine. She's not as affectionate towards me. Before when I'd visit her at her house, she'd be kissing and hugging me but all that has stopped. When we're watching TV we'd cuddle together but that too has stopped. Now I sit in one chair and she lays on another. Lately she doesn't say I love you anymore but rather DITTO or when I say it she says " OK." What is up with that? I asked her a few days ago if she wanted to be with me still and this relationship and she said "YES." Anyway, I really don't know what to take from all these signs from her! Should I wait and see what happens or do I take the high road and leave? Link to post Share on other sites
cowgirl Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Sorry to say mate but it sounds like somethings up with her and maybe she does want out but not sure how to say it without hurting you. Maybe she see's slowly pushing you away as an easy way out. Maybe she should do it for you and not beat around the bush. This is what annoys me with people who are in relationships. You sound like you really care about her and want it to work. If people aren't happy, than GET OUT!! I know when things started going wrong with my fiance and I and I wanted out I acted exactly the way your gf is. It was wrong of me to treat him like that but I did and I learnt from it. Maybe you should just come right out and ask her whats going on with her and her actions, its the only way your going to find out. You don't know if you don't ask... GOOD LUCK Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 take the high road and leave...no relationship should be based on guessing, you know what I mean my friend? That's my policy in life...or in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 If you still likeher and want to be with her, maybe you should try to keep her interested. We all have our moments, phases where we need to take some distance. Nothing a nice romantic dinner or outing together can't fix! Don't give up, that's the easiest thing on Earth you could do! The trick is to make her talk about what she's going through. Then you may decide! Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dassme Posted May 25, 2004 Author Share Posted May 25, 2004 Well I have tried talking to hear about our relationship and she says it's getting pretty lame and tiresome. And from that I'm afraid to bring it up with her sometimes cause I really don't want to get into another argument. I know I haven't been the perfect boyfriend these past couple of months and I'm truly sorry for being a jerk but I'm trying to change and adjust. She means so much to me and I don't want to lose her cause of my insecurities. ( I've been cheated on and she cheated on her ex) It's really starting to stress me out a bit! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 So you've been a jerk! Can happen to the best of us. Now how about you stop worrying and actually do something? Do things together, sweep her off her feet, and then see where that goes. And don't forget that not doing anything is doing something! Is choosing to let her go! Lots of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Shasta Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 I did this in my last relationship. I pushed the guy I loved away because he acted like he didn't want to be with me. Slight little things like not making an effort to make her feel wanted, not wanting to please her, etc make some women turn away. My boyfriend wouldn't let me in. He wouldn't share his deep thoughts with me. He never bought me roses, and the one holiday I love (V day) he gave me a CD. He also wouldn't do things that I wanted to do. I ended up being really unhappy. I had to end the relationship. My advice to you is to ask her what you could do to make her happy. Give her back rubs, make dinner for her, do anything you can to make her feel wanted! Put some spark into your love life!! Link to post Share on other sites
a_passionate_leo Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 I don't know your ages or your past experiences, but here's what I think based solely off your statement: I think it sounds like she's no longer interested but doesn't have the courage, or perhaps the know-how, to actually end things with you. Instead, she's waiting you out, hoping you'll get tired of her disinterested behavior and break things off yourself, taking the burden and the guilt off her shoulders. My suggestion for the next relationship (or this one, if it is to be saved) is to put more effort and practice into putting all your feelings, good, bad or awkward, out on the table as they come, that way the communication between you is constantly open and you always have a good idea of where the other person stands and there's no second-guessing. Second-guessing is a big relationship no-no because the drama in your head typically far exceeds the intensity of the actual situation. You assume the worst and you assume wrong. And you know what is said about assuming; to assume is to make an ass out of u and me. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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