Not Get Back Together-Just a Last Meet FOR ME

[malentendu]

I leave in 2 weeks, he leaves in 3 months. I give up, I just want a meet up. To explain myself, learn from my mistakes -get an "exit interview". As a journalist I considered saying it was for a dating article (about us), I briefly considered faking a pregnancy scare. 2 weeks ago, I tried about 6 brief requests (texts) for just a meet up. He's ignoring me. I may never see him again and all I want to do is LEARN WHAT NOT TO DO NEXT TIME. How do I get him to agree to meet me-for me?

[jordjones]

If you contemplated faking a pregnancy scare, you are obviously crazy and that's probably why he isn't talking to you.

[chados]

If you contemplated faking a pregnancy scare, you are obviously crazy and that's probably why he isn't talking to you.

 

 

i do agree bigtime. im in the same position right now, thinking about whether, well kinda, when we talked in the phone she sounded happy to meet me, and now when me and some friends are going to her town, not to meet her, just to have some fun, i asked her if she wanted to meet me up then, and now i get mixed signals, or my mind is giving me mixed signals, i have no idea. i also feel that i need to have a talk.

 

but now im considering to not tell her if i go there or not, if she ask me about it later, i dont know if i will answer her. i mean if she wants to talk to me she will contact me i guess. i dont know if this guy wants to meet you, maybe you just have to tell him that you want to meet him 30minutes for a talk. tell him that youre not trying to win him back.

[malentendu]

Thanks, I sent an email. I was just kidding about the preggo thing. It was a JOKE. Why are some people so mean on the internet? Thanks last reply.

[chados]

Thanks, I sent an email. I was just kidding about the preggo thing. It was a JOKE. Why are some people so mean on the internet? Thanks last reply.

 

no problem, well maybe it was a joke, but here we are again, never try to understand a girl

[malentendu]

Actually, though. I think the mean replier could be right. Maybe he is so simple and gauche and misunderstanding of me that that is the simple answer. He thinks I'm "psycho" "crazy" and may never speak to me again. At least I know my answer.

However, last time I thought that he sent me an email saying he missed me but maybe this time since I got really angry when he was about to come over for dinner and then said "this is just a friend's dinner right?" after a mushy lovey email-

Anyway, I told him he was an ******* amongst other things.

He is "best friends" with his ex.Maybe he told her I was crazy and stalking him. We met online.

OK, actually that gives me some peace too. I will wait and see, he'll prob. just send a quick polite goodbye email before he leaves in Feb and he prob is still in love with his ex.

I'll never know.

[chados]

Actually, though. I think the mean replier could be right. Maybe he is so simple and gauche and misunderstanding of me that that is the simple answer. He thinks I'm "psycho" "crazy" and may never speak to me again. At least I know my answer.

However, last time I thought that he sent me an email saying he missed me but maybe this time since I got really angry when he was about to come over for dinner and then said "this is just a friend's dinner right?" after a mushy lovey email-

Anyway, I told him he was an ******* amongst other things.

He is "best friends" with his ex.Maybe he told her I was crazy and stalking him. We met online.

OK, actually that gives me some peace too. I will wait and see, he'll prob. just send a quick polite goodbye email before he leaves in Feb and he prob is still in love with his ex.

I'll never know.

 

 

just go with the flow, relax.. if he say friendsdinner, maybe you should go for that?, you need to reattract him again. you see you will only push him further away be not accepting his wishes

[malentendu]

You are right but actually he said friends dinner on Halloween, almost a month ago. I contacted him many times since then to meet. My email said :"Hope you enjoyed your Halloween...meet up...before I go back I'm not trying to reconcile, I may write an article...I know you could care less thanks"-me.

I already sent it.

I saw pics online of him enjoying himself at a Halloween party-one with a pretty girl. She could be his ex, or a crush, or they're back.

I think he thinks I'm crazy and he will never speak to me again.

My friends are like, "You're still crying over him!?" it's been 3 weeks. I feel like I missed my chance and maybe he was actually too good for me.

By stalking him while he ignores me that makes him hate me even more I guess.

[sardeen]

That is exactly what I want as well, a proper send off.

 

There may be a chance that it may never happen and it is important for you to prepare yourself for that.

 

Thats what I hate about no contact when all one partner wants is a proper break up, anything can happen to either parties during those months.

 

For instance, I could have been killed at work because there was a gas leak and it made me think that I would have died never knowing what went wrong.

 

Perhaps this person may stop ignoring you, but I feel its better to get used to the reality that they may not.

[chados]

That is exactly what I want as well, a proper send off.

 

There may be a chance that it may never happen and it is important for you to prepare yourself for that.

 

Thats what I hate about no contact when all one partner wants is a proper break up, anything can happen to either parties during those months.

 

For instance, I could have been killed at work because there was a gas leak and it made me think that I would have died never knowing what went wrong.

 

Perhaps this person may stop ignoring you, but I feel its better to get used to the reality that they may not.

 

 

 

i actually cried 1 hour ago, its like the fifth time i've done it in my life, the proves im not stabil now, im gonna let her contact me. thing is , you get your hopes up, your head is spinning and you start to think that words they say has 100 meanings.

[malentendu]

That is exactly what I want as well, a proper send off.

 

There may be a chance that it may never happen and it is important for you to prepare yourself for that.

 

Thats what I hate about no contact when all one partner wants is a proper break up, anything can happen to either parties during those months.

 

For instance, I could have been killed at work because there was a gas leak and it made me think that I would have died never knowing what went wrong.

 

Perhaps this person may stop ignoring you, but I feel its better to get used to the reality that they may not.

 

exactly! I think he thinks I'm a psycho stalker crazy bitch. His loss. I hate being misunderstood! I could be dead. He's probably out enjoying himself while I am home alone on Thanksgiving.

And yes, I tried to date again. Some guy asked me out then never got back to me online, another liked me and I didn't like him and another is giving me mixed messages at work.

[malentendu]

I called and he didn't pick up. I thought about emailing him that I'm not crazy...I won't. I'm dead to him. Guess he's back with his ex, I'll never hear from him again. Wish I could give up hope.

[Tayla]

How tiring a mind can get from jumping to conclusions. It tends to happen when a person needs closure. The closure doesnt NEED the Other person, it needs the mindset to move on. Deep down and in retrospective people know what they did to create the final goodbye, they just need a clear head to exam the evidence. Hindsight is 20/20.

[flitzanu]

Actually, though. I think the mean replier could be right. Maybe he is so simple and gauche and misunderstanding of me that that is the simple answer. He thinks I'm "psycho" "crazy" and may never speak to me again. At least I know my answer.

However, last time I thought that he sent me an email saying he missed me but maybe this time since I got really angry when he was about to come over for dinner and then said "this is just a friend's dinner right?" after a mushy lovey email-

Anyway, I told him he was an ******* amongst other things.

He is "best friends" with his ex.Maybe he told her I was crazy and stalking him. We met online.

OK, actually that gives me some peace too. I will wait and see, he'll prob. just send a quick polite goodbye email before he leaves in Feb and he prob is still in love with his ex.

I'll never know.

 

the pregnancy was a joke...is the journalism?

 

if you're a journalist you should know you'll never get the answers you want from an "interview" and this is the worst scenario to believe you will.

 

you're not going to get answers, you're not going to gain insight, you're not going to learn what mistakes you made.

 

honestly it's just going to be difficult on you and not give you any resolution.

[BCCA]

you're not going to get answers, you're not going to gain insight, you're not going to learn what mistakes you made.

 

honestly it's just going to be difficult on you and not give you any resolution.

 

This.

 

The idea that youre going to 'learn what you did wrong for next time' is just your minds way of trying to convince you that you NEED to hear what he says to get over him. You dont. Nothing he says is going to help you whatsoever, youre only kidding yourself if you think it will.

 

Closure comes from within, not from someone else. Youll get over him when you accept things for what they are. All youre doing is wasting your time, and acting crazy enough to make sure he NEVER wants to talk to you again. And faking a pregnancy? Thats not even a funny joke, and its downright psychotic.

 

Take things for what they are, he doesnt want to be with you any more. You dont need to meet and talk about anything, stop kidding yourself.

[malentendu]

Thanks guys. I sent a long letter. Now I don't care if he ever writes me back at least I was honest. I tried. I think I'm starting to realize I could never marry him and that's what I'm looking for. Also, he's too uptight and anyone who silences as a break up is a c-nt. Flitzanu, what do you know about journalism? I interview for a living AND I write articles about dating. I have had success in doing this before for stories I wrote and published. Last, everyone, closure in person does make you feel better, I've done it! But, if you can't get it, you're right, it's best not to know.

[flitzanu]

Flitzanu, what do you know about journalism? I interview for a living AND I write articles about dating. I have had success in doing this before for stories I wrote and published.

 

 

you have success in writing articles about dating?

[Milocat]

Thanks guys. I sent a long letter. Now I don't care if he ever writes me back at least I was honest. I tried. I think I'm starting to realize I could never marry him and that's what I'm looking for. Also, he's too uptight and anyone who silences as a break up is a c-nt. Flitzanu, what do you know about journalism? I interview for a living AND I write articles about dating. I have had success in doing this before for stories I wrote and published. Last, everyone, closure in person does make you feel better, I've done it! But, if you can't get it, you're right, it's best not to know.

 

You write articles about dating? I hope they are a collection of 'What Not to Do's'

 

Gesh.

[bittersweet memories]

I leave in 2 weeks, he leaves in 3 months. I give up, I just want a meet up. To explain myself, learn from my mistakes -get an "exit interview". As a journalist I considered saying it was for a dating article (about us), I briefly considered faking a pregnancy scare. 2 weeks ago, I tried about 6 brief requests (texts) for just a meet up. He's ignoring me. I may never see him again and all I want to do is LEARN WHAT NOT TO DO NEXT TIME. How do I get him to agree to meet me-for me?

 

Good for him for running! He probably knows you better than you think.

 

Leave him alone and move on.

[bittersweet memories]

Thanks, I sent an email. I was just kidding about the preggo thing. It was a JOKE. Why are some people so mean on the internet? Thanks last reply.

 

Sure you were! I don't believe I see the word "joking", "kidding" next to it.

[bittersweet memories]

you have success in writing articles about dating?

 

I doubt that VERY MUCH... maybe a high school paper?

Edited November 30, 2011 by bittersweet memories