i dont know what to do

[sweetpea83]

Here's my problem. My boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) had a breakdown and tried to commit suicide, whatever was getting to him happened very suddenly and had a drastic effect on him. he withdrew from everyone he knew, especially me and he wouldnt tell me about it what was wrong at all( i still dont know), he just stopped all contact with me although we had been really close before this and when i tried to help him he didnt want to have anything to do with me but asked me to wait till he got whatever it was bothering him sorted out then he said he'd think about whether he wanted us to be together and although i gave him time he didnt get in touch and i asked him to open up a little or i'd have to move on because i felt i couldnt wait forever. He didnt respond at all and so i gave up and tried to move on, i realised i was selfish and tried to tell him id wait as long as it took but by then he said it was too late A few months later i found out he had tried to commit suicide but it was after our breakup and he said it was nothing to do with the break up. The problem is i moved on and found a wonderful partner and now its been some time, me and my current boyfriend have shared alot together and have planned a future. Then recently i saw my ex more from time to time because he lives locallyand he seemed like himself again and now he's contacted me telling me basically that he feels terrible about letting me. I love my boyfriend very much but i have a really strong impulse i cant seem to control to see if what me and my ex had is still there, because before what happened to him happened it was a wonderful relationship. i just dont know if its just a case of the grass is always greener on the other side and its best left?

[bluechocolate]

If you love your current boyfriend & have planned a future with him then stay out of your past.

 

You & your ex have both grown & changed, you cannot be at all sure that you're going to be able to rekindle what you once had so you could los your current relationship for nothing.

 

If you're happy now then live with the "what is" & forget about the "what if".

[a_passionate_leo]

Sounds like your ex has some serious problems that he needs to work on before he maintains a relationship with anyone.

 

Also, and no offense to you, I'm sure he has strong feelings for you, but he probably wants to get back together with you for purely selfish reasons. It's easiest for him to just reach out to you because you're what he knows, and he's afraid to have to move on on his own.

 

He wants someone to be there for him, and he knows that you could fill that role. He wants you to be there for him, yet because of his psychological problems, he's incapable of being there for you. That would result in a one sided relationship which would do more harm than good for both involved.

 

Stay with your current boyfriend. It's quite natural and ok to think fondly on memories of your past love, but recognize that it is just memories. You need to focus and be in love with your future.

 

Also, if you were to get back together with your ex before he is more psychologically stable, the familiarity of being with you might cause him to slip back into his old depressed patterns, and you wouldn't want to place yourself in a position where you'd feel responsible or guilty for his state. Honestly, seeing him again just doesn't sound like a good idea.

 

Good luck, whatever you do.