sunflower11 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I broke NC...I know I shouldn't have. I'm human and I make mistakes. I called, he answered, I say hi...he hung up. Called 2 more times he didn't answer. I am crushed. You were all right...I feel so much worst. I am crying and shaking and telling myself I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have done it... So here I am...back to square 1 again....heart more broken than before... How could anyone be so cruel? Link to post Share on other sites
sayitasitis Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I broke NC...I know I shouldn't have. I'm human and I make mistakes. I called, he answered, I say hi...he hung up. Called 2 more times he didn't answer. I am crushed. You were all right...I feel so much worst. I am crying and shaking and telling myself I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have done it... So here I am...back to square 1 again....heart more broken than before... How could anyone be so cruel? Sorry to hear that. It must be painful. He may not mean to be cruel. He may be dealing it in a different way than you. The next time you want to pick up the phone and call him, remember what just happened and stop yourself from it. It should get easier with time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 He is cruel...he broke up with me with a text message, ignored all my calls and texts and emails ever since..and now I called him, using a different number, he hears my voice and hangs up...he is cruel... And I get it ok? I get that if he had been ignoring me I should have known better and I'm sorry I made a mistake..I get it...I'm mad enough with myself about this Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Y U No guy says, "Y U No Listen!?" But seriously, you kinda knew this would happen and you sabotaged yourself. I'm sorry you had to go through that, though. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and come vent to us before you're tempted to do it again so we can slap some sense into you. :-P Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 I know...I just feel so bad that I am struggling with this SO MUCH that people might get sick of hearing from me...struggling. I felt silly posting again on how badly I wanted to call him I have a headache from crying...ughhh I'm sorry I didn't listen Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 I know it shouldn't matter and I shouldn't care..but I hate that he probably thinks of me as crazy and needy..I hate that he's probably thinking I am a bitch and he hates me now..I hate that when I found old photos of his ex gf in his drawer once I was like who is this? and he simply grabbed them and threw them in the trash saying..oh just some crazy girl I dated before...I hate that...that is me now. Just in the trash. Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Fortunately, his perception of you doesn't dictate reality. Whether through guilt alleviation, their ego, or whatever, most dumpers aren't going to think too highly of you. Hell, my ex probably thinks all sorts of things about me that aren't even close to true, but I don't let it get to me anymore. I'm not who she thinks I am, I'm still the same uber-awesome mofo that she fell in love with once. Character flaws on their end don't alter who you are, so f*ck him. You're seeing his true colors now, and you know that no matter how badly you want him back, you'll never be able to forgive him for how he's treated you. Just take things one day at a time. Please yourself first and eventually you'll become whole again. Turn to friends and family (and us) when you're feeling down, you'll be ok. :-D Link to post Share on other sites
lilyblue Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I'm going through much the same situation as you. Although mine didn't break up with me over text (he didn't "break up" with me at all) the last time I heard from him was a normal text and he has ignored me since. I've contacted him three times in the last two months, all of which he ignored. I then figured out he was back with his ex-wife. I know how awful you feel being ignored - I did the phone call from another number too, I hung up when he answered though. It's the most disrepectful thing that I think anyone has ever done to me (we were really good friends for years before and had no relationship problems) and it hurts really badly. I saw him 2 weeks ago at a mutual friend's birthday and he looked guilty and remorseful and quietly said he was sorry at the end of the night. He's a coward and sometimes maybe this is where this comes from. It's really really hard to deal with when someone chooses to ignore you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 It is horrible when someone ignores you! I am in a different country so there is no way I can even meet him so ask what the f is wrong with you??....sorry you are going through the same lilyblue Popehappycat, thank you..I know you are right. I did nothing wrong and I loved him as much as I could. I guess it must be because he HATES all of his ex gfs (i dont know why, his head must be really messed up) so it got me down to think he hates me now too. You are right, I'll never be able to forgive him for how he treated me..even his best friend in college told me last night he is suck a dick and that im the nicest girl he was ever with and I don't deserve to be treated like this. Link to post Share on other sites
lilyblue Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 Yeah he never would have met me voluntarily. I'm assuming he didn't know that I was going to be at the gathering. It took all my strength to go in (it was only 6 of us total, a group of our mutual friends that we hung out with a lot). He did ignore me at first, but I initiated saying hi and he obviously felt really uncomfortable (in a guilty way, not an a**hole way). I'm kind of grateful I got that opportunity as I think it did help a little reinforcing that he's not malicious, he handled things horribly but I really do believe it's b/c he's a coward. Maybe the same in your situation? Every so often the same insecurity of "does he hate me??" creeps up. He was one of those that called previous women he dated "crazy" (although I would agree about one of them, she had some issues of her own). I knew too much about what they did - texting him and calling him constantly and showing up at his house, that I felt like I had to not be one of them which I think made me not able to react in the way that I felt and made me feel a little boxed in an unpowerful. Although maybe it was for the better. I don't regret any of the attempts I made to contact him. I don't think I went overboard and I can still place the blame fully on him. Still hurts though doesn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 he is suck a dick Maybe that explains a lot. :-P Link to post Share on other sites
maryslamb Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I know...I just feel so bad that I am struggling with this SO MUCH that people might get sick of hearing from me...struggling. I felt silly posting again on how badly I wanted to call him I have a headache from crying...ughhh I'm sorry I didn't listen Sunflower , calm down What you did is completely normal. You are beyond hurt, and you were seeking answers. Yes, you ex is cruel for breaking up with you the manner that he did. And for that he is scum.. but if he says he doesn't want to be with you, you have to respect hims decision. Calling, and trying to get answers about a past relationship, is no more. Yes its easier said than done. But you have to do it. Don't worry about people on here worrying about hearing your story over and over again. Everyone is going through the same thing one way or another. As am I .. its been 24 days since the break up, and I still cry everyday. I'm not having anxiety attacks as bad, but I just had to continue life and pick up the pieces. I broke down and contacted my ex, 10 days after the break up. And nothing good came from it. He was cold, and completely shut off all emotions, considering the fact I was on the phone crying and expressing my love for him. I'm dealing with my own issues, and learning that if this man want to be with me then at some point he will contact me. If you get the urge to contact him again, hop on LS. If you feel embrassed about posting your story again, read some past stories relating to your situation. Just do something other than contacting him. You are not alone. Take care.. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 You slipped off the bike... don't sit there looking at it. Get back up and get riding again. The worse thing you can do after breaking NC is kicking yourself for breaking NC as you only end up hurting more. It's happened, you can't change it, you can only learn from it. I've done it, my ex has done it and I've responded. As good as it makes me feel at the time, I always end up back at square one. You simply broke NC because you wanted to at the time. Now you want to get back to NC and continue healing. I personally bet that if I had a penny for everytime someone broke NC... well, you know where I'm going with that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 Thank you everyone for your words..I realize I'm being too hard on myself..I just wasn't thinking at that moment and today I just feel so hurt that he would do it. My eyes are swollen :S maryslamb...he has never once said he doesnt want to be with me. I know silence speaks louder than words, and the way he has been ignoring me proves that he just doesn't want me anymore...it's just the last call we had he was crying telling me how guilty he felt for breaking my heart and how much he loved me and how it wasn't "over forever" and that he would text me...and he never did and ignored me in every possible way. I know I should have picked up that he didn't want me...but there's a part of me that still wanted to hold on to him and believe him..why was he too coward to just say it? maybe last night I would have felt better if he had said ..stop calling me, i dont love you anymore...rather than just hang up? Link to post Share on other sites
fenderjames Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 You're not alone . I broke 3 months of NC on Tuesday . Did me no good . I do not exist . I am not worthy and do not deserve even a " f off " ( which I would prefer to indifference ) . Just know, you are not alone . Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 I wish I was indifferent too like he is. Feel no pain, no love, no anger, nothing. As if he never existed. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 It's all superficial you know. Just because someone hung up on you, doesn't mean they are indifferent. Sure they are indifferent when they're hanging up on you, but what about after he hung up on you ? Don't you think he didn't feel the pain ? It's killing him. And he's protecting his heart from your calls. Otherwise you'll be trapped in this vicious circle, he's probably thinking. See it from my situation: I'm also going cold turkey on my ex-bf since a year now. And every attempt from him has been responded with indifference from my part. I'm sure he's thinking that i'm an ice-queen or something. And i want him to think that i don't care and that he can move on without me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 I don't know if he felt the pain..I honestly feel like I don't know this person at all Kamila! I know I felt AWFUL when I broke up with my bf of two years last year (Jake) and it killed me everytime he called and wanted to know why, why and he said he regretted pushing the whole Christianity thing on me and all the issues we had about how he was controlling and insecure and it hurt me a lot to hear him cry. We broke up because we wanted different things in life and I couldn't see myself becoming a Christian just to please him and he wanted to travel and spread the word of God..and I wanted someone I could marry who would live at home with me. So all in all, it was painful to do it but I had to. I'd like to believe maybe that is how my recent ex, K, is feeling but...honestly..he is the type of guy who doesn't waste any time mourning a relatonship and I KNOW that a month after the break up (Its been 2 months) he was already talking to other girls on online dating sites, telling them how gorgeous they were, giving out his phone number to all like a slut, and my texts? he never replied. and my emails? he never replied cause he was too busy with his videogames and talking to his floozies. He said he loved me and cared about me and said he wouldn't treat me like his other ex gf's cause I had been special to him and he actually cared about how I was doing. Yea..hanging up on someone sounds like a "**** you" to me. I should be the one rejecting him..he is treating me like I did something awful and he doesn't want to talk to me ever again. As if any of this has been my fault... Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Last night I was so angry and hurt that I texted him saying he was the biggest mistake of my life...and I know it sounds so mean and hurtful..but he has hurt me soo much more and I have been sooo nice to him letting him walk all over me. I was so angry. Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I know it shouldn't matter and I shouldn't care..but I hate that he probably thinks of me as crazy and needy..I hate that he's probably thinking I am a bitch and he hates me now..I hate that when I found old photos of his ex gf in his drawer once I was like who is this? and he simply grabbed them and threw them in the trash saying..oh just some crazy girl I dated before...I hate that...that is me now. Just in the trash. Sunflower, why does it matter what he thinks? It's perfectly understandable that you're hurt after breaking NC, and I'm sorry for that. I know what it feels like, to feel as if you've fallen somehow into yet another trap -- one that you probably planted for yourself, really. However, you're not a bad person for feeling "needy". You're not a bad person for still caring for him, and wanting things to work out. It's natural, as we all want it to work out for us. But you have to allow him to move on just like you're going to have to move on soon. By repeatedly trying to call him, it sounds cold, but it's just invading his personal space, going against his wishes, and interrupting the healing process for both of you. I really believe that in the end, it's simple: people just want to be happy. And in relationships, despite how much it hurts like hell, both people eventually deserve to move on to what makes them happy. It's horrible that people have to be in pain and hurt each other along the way for this to happen, but sometimes that's how it goes. Things in life aren't always so neatly solved, but if you give it some time and try to get to a better place, things will work out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunflower11 Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Thank you Thieves, I always appreciate your advice. I know I have to stop..it's not..healthy. I don't even know why I call him anymore...the truth is painfully obvious and it has been there all along... Link to post Share on other sites
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