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burnt out marriage license


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AlexisMacabre

my ex sent me a pic of him burning out marriage license, i told him to have fun with that.

 

it hurt, but hes dead to me now.

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Your ex is an a.sshole! Ignore him from now on. He isn't worthy of any reaction! Even though he upset you, what he did was just cruel and plain mean, don't ever give him the satisifaction of your reaction or speaking to him again.

 

Time for total NC.

 

Sorry you're hurting.

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RecordProducer

Hm... he cares! People who are indifferent don't do stuff like that. ;)

YOU be indifferent if you want to punish him.

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AlexisMacabre

thank for the replies, yeah, he texted me more and tried to make insults because i was ignoring him, i told him to go away because i have better people to talk to. end of that. stupid ******* man, wait till his family sees this and theyre made at him already to begin with for being an ******* with our son, took him out to the park brought him back less then an hour later and took off and left his son cryinng in the floor, pissed him mom and a lot of people off. he's so dumb

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AlexisMacabre

never talking to him about **** again!

he;s so damn low, if he nneds to hear about our son he can hear it from my mil who always has my back!

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AlexisMacabre

yeah, he came over here for thanksgiving and we ate in awkwardness and then after he brought some clothes to wash and i took off to a friends and he spent time with our son finally and when he left i came back home.

he was telling a friend of mine that "i can be replaced." uhmm excuse me i thought i was already replaced when he started seeing that girl he's with now, uhm am i missing something here cause this comment really ticked me off.

i am already replaced. idiot and so is he.

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What clothes? Are there no commercial laundries in the area? What was the arrangement regarding Thanksgiving with your son?

 

I think you should be LC limiting the communication to him picking up and returning your son. You shouldn't be running away from your own home to avoid him. I read your coping journal sometime back and think that in spite of all he has done you keep hoping that he will be civil and fair. I wish he was but it seems he wants you to hold on to him and not move on.

 

The best medicine would be to cut him off from your attention.

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Hi There

 

NC is the way forward & you deserve peace.

I lived for nearly two years in my house with xbpd/npdw before I cud get her out legally.We were together six years & married four long years.I cud only deal with her in silence & nc at all.I got all those mindgames.

 

I wish u the very best in ur new life.

 

It does get better.................

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AlexisMacabre

thankd for your replys everyone, yeah a lot of people agree that he is being stupid about all this and yes, no contact is being done as we speak, i know life will get better soon, i just hope he can let me go also, instead of bothering me when he see's i have someone else.

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I feel your pain--right before I threw my wife out of the house, she took a picture frame full of pictures of us from the beginning of our 8 year relationship, heaved it over her head and smashed it on the ground as hard as she could, and told me those people are dead.

 

It was just to draw a reaction out of me, which is exactly what your ex is doing to you. Just ignore it and be happy you are done with a person like that.

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RecordProducer

Sorry, I am not familiar with your situation, but I have a couple things to say. Loser or not, he is the child's father, and it sounds like you would like him to be around - I mean, he's not abusive to the child or anything harmful like that. So, being civil with him could benefit your kid. If you insist on being civil, eventually he will have no one to fight with.

 

Regarding no contact, a good friend of mine left her husband because she caught him with another woman. He was seeing their son fort a couple years after they split, but they were all going out together. At some point, she let him know she completely didn't care about him and he stopped seeing the child, but still kept paying $1,200 a month for another couple years. Eventually he stopped paying child support (he was likely broke), but he reappeared in the boy's life. However, that lasted only for a bit; soon thereafter, he started promising to come see the boy and not showing up. He didn't even show up or call for Father's Day.

 

The reason why I am telling you this story is because it's very important how you play things out. There's no formula to success; often you have to play it by ear. It's best to ask people who know you both well. Don't count so much on his family's support; while you think your MIL has your back, she might be trying to throw sand in your eyes so you don'task for alimony or child supportor whatever assets.

 

Ideally, you should be as civil as possible, but nobody on this forum can give you the correct solution. Some men are manipulative and clever, some are total jerks but with no hidden agenda, some are ego maniacs, some are aggressive... there'so catch - all advice that will be perfect for each couple.

 

Having gone through two difficult divorces (involving huge changes and decisions), I can tell you separation is one of the most difficult thing you'll experience in life, so don't feel discouraged by the horrible feelings that overwhelm you right now. I've been there and done the fighting, screaming, breaking, drinking, crying, and all the good stuff that comes with breakups. ;) Trust me, things will get better. Right now you feel stuck and you don't know what to do next, but all the answers will come to you one day - and you will be happy. I still haven't found all the answers, even three years after the separation, but they're coming to me.

 

Things will get worse before they get better. Remember that! ;)

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AlexisMacabre
Sorry, I am not familiar with your situation, but I have a couple things to say. Loser or not, he is the child's father, and it sounds like you would like him to be around - I mean, he's not abusive to the child or anything harmful like that. So, being civil with him could benefit your kid. If you insist on being civil, eventually he will have no one to fight with.

 

Regarding no contact, a good friend of mine left her husband because she caught him with another woman. He was seeing their son fort a couple years after they split, but they were all going out together. At some point, she let him know she completely didn't care about him and he stopped seeing the child, but still kept paying $1,200 a month for another couple years. Eventually he stopped paying child support (he was likely broke), but he reappeared in the boy's life. However, that lasted only for a bit; soon thereafter, he started promising to come see the boy and not showing up. He didn't even show up or call for Father's Day.

 

The reason why I am telling you this story is because it's very important how you play things out. There's no formula to success; often you have to play it by ear. It's best to ask people who know you both well. Don't count so much on his family's support; while you think your MIL has your back, she might be trying to throw sand in your eyes so you don'task for alimony or child supportor whatever assets.

 

Ideally, you should be as civil as possible, but nobody on this forum can give you the correct solution. Some men are manipulative and clever, some are total jerks but with no hidden agenda, some are ego maniacs, some are aggressive... there'so catch - all advice that will be perfect for each couple.

 

Having gone through two difficult divorces (involving huge changes and decisions), I can tell you separation is one of the most difficult thing you'll experience in life, so don't feel discouraged by the horrible feelings that overwhelm you right now. I've been there and done the fighting, screaming, breaking, drinking, crying, and all the good stuff that comes with breakups. ;) Trust me, things will get better. Right now you feel stuck and you don't know what to do next, but all the answers will come to you one day - and you will be happy. I still haven't found all the answers, even three years after the separation, but they're coming to me.

 

Things will get worse before they get better. Remember that! ;)

 

i appreciate this but im not trying to keep my ex from our son, i want him to be there and i even stayed in the same town as him so he could see him as much as he wanted but he hasnt made an effort, i just think he's going through some sort of stage which is understandable and when i said he was dead to me it was out of anger lol id never want that, he's just making some wrong choices choosing his friends over our son, but i guess whenever he is ready to talk to me about him being civil there is nothing i can do because he either ignores me or tells me off when i try to talk to him.

 

im glad the answers are coming to you!

i have good/bad days everyone does but i always appreciate the honest opinions of everyone!

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Power of Love

I agree with Record in that he cares! People who are indifferent just wouldn't do stuff like that. It might be a little extreme but he cares.

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AlexisMacabre
I agree with Record in that he cares! People who are indifferent just wouldn't do stuff like that. It might be a little extreme but he cares.

 

so my ex strikes again with his messed up way in "showing he cares" lol on sunday night i had gone to my moms for a few days cause my sons birthday was on monday he turned 3 and since last year we spent it with my ex's family i thought it would be good to spend it with my family anyways my mom had asked me to bathe our dog cause she was very dirty and she sleeps inside so i did it took me about 30 mins cause she hasnt been groomed so after i was done i had a text from my ex and it was him telling me off saying that i had got one of my friends to "prank call" him and tell him stuff and i had no idea what he was talking about cause id never even do that and ive never done that not even when i was a teen, anyways he was like "sure" like i was lying when i said i had no idea what he was talking about and well he went on and on and then i called his mom and told her and well she said that he told her it was a number from my town and well i asked her to get the number and she did and she gave it to me and it was some old mans number who doesnt even live anywhere near us and he lives alone and so i was stunned i was like seriously? i told him i called and it was some old guy and no response and then i asked him if it was true that someone prank called him and he said "why would i make that up?' i told him idk but i didnt do anything and all he said was ok and i left it at that....could it have been him trying to get my attention because he knew i was in my town where the guy im talking lives also and wanted to ruin my time there, idk what to think about him anymore and im so glad he hasnt texted me since yesterday to tell me to tell our son happy birthday and then he asked me when we were going back home i said idk yet and he told me oh ok but why does it matter to him lol im fed up with him, but i just dont understand why if he even did make this whole prank calling story up....ugh!

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