jnj express Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 What do you want from all of this---Do you wanna R.---Can you stomach living with your wife, knowing what she very happily/willingly did to you How do you go about the rest of your life, if you stay together---- You father in law---is a perfect example---he stayed with his cheating wife---and years later, he can't /doesn't/won't talk about what she did---it obviously years later, still hurts If you stay things may improve, but they will never be the same---your wife will trigger you---you will always, be looking over your shoulder----if anything is out of the ordinary with her, you WILL immediately think the worst, and deal with the situation as if she has done something wrong---it just goes with the territory You only get one trip thru life------it can become happy WITHOUT her---or it can be a trip lacking in trust, always wondering, and always knowing there is a BIG WHITE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM----for her lover will not leave YOUR SUB-CONSCIOUS, as long as you stay with her It all boils down to how you wanna spend the rest of your life!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I agree with some of the posters here..this has to be fiction or at least greatly distorted. I should have known that most real people don't have the bloated ego like the OP here..bragging about how many goals he got in a beer league hockey game? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodamnpragmatic Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I think there is still a fog and things are happening too quick. As said the good news is that there are no children and it is while not an easy decision, it is one that the OP holds the cards and has his eyes wide open. I suggest that you guys start MC & IC, and date again and sleep together (remember most important birth control). If you survive, great if not that's okay too. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Highly entertaining thread, but there are way too many holes in it. I do nominate it for the Love Shack Rick Roll Award. Nickster would be be proud to have such stiff competition. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 The last line of his first post: "I just wanna die". Oh boy, were we played..First she was "Sandra", then she became "Sandi", and he was then inviting her to his house for a Christmas party where his wayward wife would also attend.. Hello!! Good drama, for sure.. I called "Troll" on this clown back on page 6 and am amazed at how many postings this thread continues to get. I will admit that it is pretty good fiction, but it shouldn't be posted on this forum where so many people are hurting and trying to solve real problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Trojan John Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I can believe it. My brother once had a NYE party where he invited all FOUR of the women he was involved with. There were fireworks inside and outside of the flat that night... Link to post Share on other sites
Afishwithabike Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Im starting to think this thread isn't real. Same here. Had that thought several pages into this thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Whether to believe or not does not matter. Over in the divorce section many of the guys and some of the gals post that they have gotten the "I love you, but I am not in love with you" message from their spouse, and at the same time proclaiming that they have done nothing wrong and wonder how could this have happened. Yes it does happen, but a good percentage of the time, what is unsaid is that they have pushed their spouses away by taking them for granted, such as spending their nights on the computer, instead of paying them and their marriage the time and attention that they needed. But we take them for their word and if possible try to help them through their troubling times. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Dear god are people only noticing now? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Dear god are people only noticing now? LOL...in my case I was simply suspending disbelief, like watching The A Team and seeing all those shots being fired and no one getting hurt...LMAO! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ultraman Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Hello, I know its been awhile since i have posted. I have been extremely busy as of late. Went back to work, getting prepared for a very large account starting in Feb. and working many, many long hours at the office. My brother has gone back home already and never realized that being alone would be this different. My home is pretty big and empty. Still have friends stopping in and out but just being here night after night by myself is strange, not scary or depressing, just strange. I stopped my therapy sessions for the time being but did finish 2 books I had purchased. Did learn a little about myself and maybe some of my short comings as a husband and partner. My dad has talked to me about a lot of things as of late and I think i am starting to understand why I am feeling this way. I am not crying myself to sleep or anything but still wake up in the middle of the night in an empty bed and roam around the house before I can get back to sleep. I am eating ok and at the gym almost everyday, but still look a little beat down and the mental feeling is similar. How long does this last on average??? My therapist said that I will pull through this in time and that " I seem" to be handling this better than some people would! He also thinks that my workplace is a big factor because staying busy can do that for some folks. I agree in most part but a little afraid that this process may start to affect my professional life if I let my emotions wander out of line. I am still talking to my wife a couple times a week, no sex or romance of any kind, just talking. She was over 2 nights ago for coffee. It was weird, I woke up just after midnight and she texted me about 2 minutes after I got out of bed. She asked if i was up and said she couldn't sleep so she came by and we talked until 330 am. i was tired as **** the next day, thats for sure. She seems different somehow? Its like we only met a short time ago and we talk to each other differently. I see her as someone I used to know or only just started to know and it is a new feeling for me. Is this a normal feeling that others have had or am I unique with this??? She did ask me if her and I could attend a session with a Councillor so we could try to repair this mess. I am reluctant right now to do this simply because I just don't know what I am looking to get from something like that. She definitely does NOT want a divorce and I really don't want one either but I will say that fixing this at this time just isn't in the cards right now at this point in my life. She will not pressure me however, which helps and she understands where I am coming from. I have not served her with divorce papers yet but they are drawn up in case I change my mind. My wife did ask if I was seeing anyone but I am not and I told her just that. She did apologize to me about how she acted towards Sandra and feels rather stupid about it. It didn't really affect me because nothing ever happened between us and I hope she finally understands that. Both of them did look ridiculous. she also mentioned that she has not seen her husband for the longest time and that she wanted me to know that they will never be in contact again, ever. Would be nice to believe that but I am not keeping tabs on her at all so I guess I will have to take her word on that. I still don't really know what the future holds for me at this point. Looks like work will be filling the empty spots for the time being. Not sure that its the healthiest approach to take but what ever works for the short haul is what I need to follow for my own sanity. It sucks but could be worse. Could have cancer or lost a child or my home or any number of horrible events. Have to look at the bright side and try and see some positive aspects of my life right now, at this very moment. So my book told me anyway. I can say that I still love my wife very much, I just hate what she did. Dont think I can ever get over that part and maybe I will have to close this chapter in my life for good to move on and live my life as I see fit without her. I know that completely forgiving her will not be that difficult because I realize that I must have done at least "something" that drove her to do this. Not saying It is my fault but I could have contributed to this in one form or another. Reconciliation on the other hand may most likely be a very, very long and blind shot in the dark. Yes," Forgiveness and reconciliation are 2 completely different highways to 2 completely different cities in 2 completely different countries". That is a quote from my therapist. Makes you look at things from a different perspective, trust me. Just wanted to post to bring folks up to date. For those who believe that this entire story is fiction? That is fine with me, I am not offended at all. Just don't respond or at the very least " Humor me" and pretend its real and give me a real response if you wish. as for the real replies, I thank you very much. It does seem a little crazy but my therapist told me that he has heard alot crazier than my plight. And for the record, I DID NOT invite my wife to my party. Her roomate, another one of her friends, and herself showed up on their own accord and were there for a few minutes until I realized. What was I suppose to do??? kick all three of them out, c'mon? Thanx again, talk 2 u later 1 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Hhhmm..the plot thickens..is the OP a troll or not? I will be the first to bite and do as you suggest and act like you're real. IMHO, both of you are still young and you have very little in your life entangled with her..ie no minor children, no joint companies/rental properties...to waste the time and energy to repair a relationship with an untrustworthy spouse. Ultraman, your wife does not have your back and never will. You deserve and can do better..go love another. Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Would be nice to believe that but I am not keeping tabs on her at all so I guess I will have to take her word on that. Uh, no. The last thing you should do is take anything she says or does at face value. You should never blindly trust anyone, but that's how many of us wind up in these si2ations with a cheating spouse. We want so hard 2 believe they're trustworthy that we just trust them even when they don't warrant that trust. Since she had an affair and wants 2 reconcile with you, she's got a lot of work ahead of her proving 2 you that she can be trustworthy, and you owe it 2 yourself AND her 2 hold her 2 that. Just remember, your marriage is over, whether you've filed or not. If you're going 2 have a fu2re with her, you're going 2 be starting all over. Give serious thought (with your head, not your emotions) as 2 whether it is worth it. -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 If you reconcile - it may be useful to understand what you can expect... As your expectations are what will trip you up every time! IF you can expect that she will cheat again - and you don't have a problem with that - then stay in the M. IF you have a problem with someone cheating - then it's best to end it. She hasn't done the work to find out WHY she cheated - and how to NEVER have the need to cheat again... So expect her to cheat more. You could spend your lifetime checking up on her and feeling suspicious... YOU have choices =choose wisely! Link to post Share on other sites
beforedawn Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Any update's Ultra? Hope everything is going ok for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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