smokey bear Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I just read the NC "post here instead of contacting your ex" post and thought it might be useful to have another post for what happens when someone breaks NC. I think it might help others to stick to NC by hearing others experiences of what happened when they broke NC or when their ex broke NC and they replied (breadcrumbs). Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted November 24, 2011 Author Share Posted November 24, 2011 Me: Hey hows you? Him: Pissed off, had a **** day at work! Me:Whats happened? Him: Nothing a bottle of wine won't fix! Thats his answer to everything, a bottle of wine, he spends more nights drunk now than sober and i just think, whats the point. He'll never miss you if you txt and he'll never sober up long enough to miss you How do i feel, gutted! He's no longer the man i loved for all those years. Even worse... he no longer loves me. Link to post Share on other sites
Gdunkman Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 That's how it worked for me, and that's why I will never break NC: 1. At some moment of weakness you send a message, give her a call, contact via mail, fb, Skype whatever, or she contacts you and you can't resist the urge to reply. 2. Her happy or indifferent voice and behaviour kills you, but the conversation is friendly overall, so you feel satisfied with it, sometimes even happy, it wasn't bad you think, she still cares to answer me, so may be everything is not so bad. 3. You feel good even next day, and after two days, because you contacted the person you care about not long time ago. 4. The next stage is why you should never break NC, and it comes about in a week after the contact: you analyze your conversation again and again, you think what could it mean, did she miss you, or did she move on, was she still single, or started to date. You ask your friends and LSers what could it mean, you start to live by that 5 minutes long conversation and it ruins your life. That contact keeps you attached and you can't move on, you are back at the square one. NC is the only way to move on. I asked all my friends to block her on fb, so there is no way I will be updated about her news, and blocked all her friends. Looking at her photos is a tabu for me as well, because it's a light form of contact. My final argument: contact with your ex is just killing your pride and self-esteem. Those people, our exs, don't deserve our time and attention. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 That's how it worked for me, and that's why I will never break NC: 1. At some moment of weakness you send a message, give her a call, contact via mail, fb, Skype whatever, or she contacts you and you can't resist the urge to reply. 2. Her happy or indifferent voice and behaviour kills you, but the conversation is friendly overall, so you feel satisfied with it, sometimes even happy, it wasn't bad you think, she still cares to answer me, so may be everything is not so bad. 3. You feel good even next day, and after two days, because you contacted the person you care about not long time ago. 4. The next stage is why you should never break NC, and it comes about in a week after the contact: you analyze your conversation again and again, you think what could it mean, did she miss you, or did she move on, was she still single, or started to date. You ask your friends and LSers what could it mean, you start to live by that 5 minutes long conversation and it ruins your life. That contact keeps you attached and you can't move on, you are back at the square one. NC is the only way to move on. I asked all my friends to block her on fb, so there is no way I will be updated about her news, and blocked all her friends. Looking at her photos is a tabu for me as well, because it's a light form of contact. My final argument: contact with your ex is just killing your pride and self-esteem. Those people, our exs, don't deserve our time and attention. great post. exactly what happened, except the FB block. im moving on, and if where still single after lets say 5-6 months, i might try then if i still love her. Link to post Share on other sites
sunflower11 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Broke NC last night Called from skype, he didn't know it was me so he answered (for 2 months he has been ignoring me) Him: Hello? Me: Hey.. HANGS UP THE PHONE. Call back two times and it rings..and rings..and rings..and voicemail. I was crushed, crying, shaking, screaming and being upset with myself for even thinking about calling someone who OBVIOUSLY doesn't want to talk to me or else he would have called me by now...((( It's a horrible feeling..cried all night, eyes swollen the next day and pain in the chest and anxiety worst than ever. Lesson learned. Do not break NC. He doesn't want you anymore. Thank God he doesn't have a facebook cause I'm sure i would be going crazy with that... Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Did no good for me, wound up in a lot of pain and it got me nowhere. I was fine for weeks and I got a text and it was all over from there. I've since asked for all matters regarding the property and all shared goods to be done via letter and or a court appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 (edited) Since December 2010, I've stopped replying to my ex-boyfriend's messages. Almost every 2 months he texted me. He wished me 'Happy New Year', 'Happy b-day', asked me how I was doing, if he wanted me to meet him for coffee (he didn't really wanted to go for a coffee now eh ?), till he sent his last 'ultimatum goodbye I still think about you'-message. So actually I never broke no contact with him starting from that point. But I let him invade my cellphone and he stayed on my mind. Then 2 weeks ago, I found out he's seeing someone by stupidly scrolling over his facebook mini piccie that was in my notification mail send by facebook on my account. The devil hid in the little details, and oh the meaning was so heartbreaking. I should have blocked his FB profile And I should have deleted his number from my phone. I was in a case of passive low contact. Or in other words, I had 'hope' that something would happen. Or that he would change for us. Seeing him with another girl was hurtful at first, but now I'm learning to accept that we're finally over. Maybe that info wasn't that bad afterall. It can liberating if put in the right context. Edited November 25, 2011 by Kamila Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Its good to hear them, keep them coming xxx Link to post Share on other sites
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