maryslamb Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I so dread this day, christmas and nye.. just not in the mood. Although I have stayed strong in n/c and taking the time to heal. I was hoping to get a HTG from the ex. But none came, and I doubt it will.. I want to send a text and say something to the nature of hoping you are staying blessed, and I still love you. But it breaks my heart, because I can't send it. I'm afraid of the response, or if there is one at all.. I've decided to stay home and eat take out than go out with the family at a gathering. I guess ill just try to go to sleep early, to prepare myself to wake up in the am for work. Link to post Share on other sites
lymtal1 Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 maryslamb, i am sorry you feel like you are feeling. i have had a wierd feeling all day today. been six months for me but it has been very unsettling for sure. i questioned wherther i would hear and actually glad that i have not. it really will not mean anything. please don't send anything. trust me, you will feel better if you don't later. as much as you may think you want to, the things you say will only make you feel worse at a later point. remember, the outcome of sending something usually ends up neutral at best. be strong right now. think of it this way. this is just another day. it will pass and you will feel better tomorrow as the so called significance will be gone and you will continue to get on with your life and healing and moving on. i today wish you happiness on this day as brighter days are ahead for you and all of us. i want you to think about this. next year at this time you will not have the same feelings you have now. you will be a stronger person for what you are going through. you will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Thanks rory and everyone, i see my ex from week to week, i dont get nervous or butterflies or anything when i see him. Someone else described it as an excitement at times (felt that twice) and yes that explains a bit of it. Mostly its just "uh oh somethings wrong" kind of feeling. You can call me crazy but it feels more like..... i feel when the ex is down. I dont know its hard to explain but really weird and unbearable at times. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Don't know how this post got here, sorry but it was meant for another thread xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author maryslamb Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 maryslamb, i am sorry you feel like you are feeling. i have had a wierd feeling all day today. been six months for me but it has been very unsettling for sure. i questioned wherther i would hear and actually glad that i have not. it really will not mean anything. please don't send anything. trust me, you will feel better if you don't later. as much as you may think you want to, the things you say will only make you feel worse at a later point. remember, the outcome of sending something usually ends up neutral at best. be strong right now. think of it this way. this is just another day. it will pass and you will feel better tomorrow as the so called significance will be gone and you will continue to get on with your life and healing and moving on. i today wish you happiness on this day as brighter days are ahead for you and all of us. i want you to think about this. next year at this time you will not have the same feelings you have now. you will be a stronger person for what you are going through. you will be fine. Thank you so much for your kind words... i didnt end up sending anything, just resisted the temptation... you are defintaly in my prayers as well... hugs Link to post Share on other sites
stunned8165 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I'm not sure which I prefer. Sometimes I really want contact from her, but then again I don't. I sent the kids Thanksgiving day cards because I love the kids.. But then I got angry because I heard nothing. The least that miserable girl could do is acknowledge the kids got the cards. Even if she didn't want to give it to them, so they don't get sad and miss me which I know they still do, she could have said something. Maybe she's mad because I didn't send her one.. lol.. Who the heck knows. I don't even know what I want with that situation.. My story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/ All I know is, I miss the kids very badly. And you know, I miss who I thought she was, not what she turned out to be. So deep inside, maybe I'm glad I haven't heard from her. Even though she suddenly appeared on my way home twice in a week and a half after no sign of her for 5 months. It's like she did it on purpose trying to prompt mme to reach out to her. It aint happenin. It's her turn to make an offort if thats what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Breaking NC is like a druggy getting a fix. Mine was recently broken. I temporarily feel a little better, but it's the crash that you have to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
stunned8165 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Breaking NC is like a druggy getting a fix. Mine was recently broken. I temporarily feel a little better, but it's the crash that you have to worry about. Yeah, I agree. I crashed yesterday in hopes that I would hear from the kids. It's not even so much her, but her allowing to hear from the kids. But I know whats going on over there. The new boyfriend who she left me for probably isn't allowing it. Link to post Share on other sites
wow123 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Yeah, I agree. I crashed yesterday in hopes that I would hear from the kids. It's not even so much her, but her allowing to hear from the kids. But I know whats going on over there. The new boyfriend who she left me for probably isn't allowing it. Same with my ex's new bf. They started dating the same week so I'm sure he's a bit concerned about that. Link to post Share on other sites
jquest1280 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 maryslamb, I can tell you, nearly 5 years on, that looking back, I am glad my ex did not try to contact me. It would have set my hopes up, and would have delayed the healing, I would have grabbed at the straws then come crashing down..It would have been endless. I'm proud of how I handled myself ever since I went on NC (eventually, LC was more like it). And the cringe-worthy episodes of my story were the pre NC period when I would use any excuse to send him a message hoping for ..but of couse, always being disappointed at the outcome. It's tough, but you will get through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maryslamb Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 I guess in some way I was hoping for a Happy Thanksgiving text. but none never arrived. I think I did have high hopes for one, and i set myself up for failure. Well, N/C contines. this is now 14 days of n/c I will say this. I have spoken with a lot of intelligent people . And have used the n/c to better myself. I am still learning myself. and learning how to deal with a lot of challenges Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I guess in some way I was hoping for a Happy Thanksgiving text. but none never arrived. I think I did have high hopes for one, and i set myself up for failure. Well, N/C contines. this is now 14 days of n/c I will say this. I have spoken with a lot of intelligent people . And have used the n/c to better myself. I am still learning myself. and learning how to deal with a lot of challenges I too was hoping for a Happy Thanksgiving email/text,,, never got one, now I'm kinda glad I didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
b_80_h Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 I so dread this day, christmas and nye.. just not in the mood. Although I have stayed strong in n/c and taking the time to heal. I was hoping to get a HTG from the ex. But none came, and I doubt it will.. I want to send a text and say something to the nature of hoping you are staying blessed, and I still love you. But it breaks my heart, because I can't send it. I'm afraid of the response, or if there is one at all.. I've decided to stay home and eat take out than go out with the family at a gathering. I guess ill just try to go to sleep early, to prepare myself to wake up in the am for work. Dude, I totally understand your pain. I've been wrestling with breaking NC with my ex for a little while now (I've posted a few times here about it because it's very confusing for me). My ex split with me about six months ago to concentrate on improving her life (therapy, etc), and it was a teary goodbye. However, she got colder to me later, eventually pushing me out of her life and beginning NC. I've been wrestling with breaking it, but I'm not sure it's the right time yet. I take it she initiated the break-up, from the tone of this post. It's a lot harder to break NC if you were pushed away. I'd suggest though, not to hole yourself up on these holidays. If you have to, just ask a few close friends to hang with you and make it worth-while. The worst thing you can do to yourself is hide away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maryslamb Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 Dude, I totally understand your pain. Im a girl... Link to post Share on other sites
b_80_h Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Dude, I totally understand your pain. Im a girl... I try to use dude in an asexual form (I'm one of THOSE guys that calls people "dude", "man" and "bro"), so I apologize if I offended you. Link to post Share on other sites
LostJustLost Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 I don't know how you do it - the NC thing. If I cant see his wall posts on FB I wouldn't know if he was alive. I would give anything, everything if he would just talk to me one last time and say goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
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