Did I misread him?

[Miss S H]

Hi everyone

I need some thoughts and advice, please share your wisdom on my below story:

About 3 weeks ago I met a boy, he was a friend of a friend and we happened to be out at the same bar. Prior to meeting him I had broken up with my ex 6 weeks before this, and had just starting feeling better about myself, which was great – everything was falling into place.

This new boy and I instantly were drawn to eachother and I felt something that I’d never even felt with my ex. I could tell he felt the same way and we spent the next 10 hours talking to eachother, to the point were our remaining friends were in shock by how much we’d hit it off.

His friends openly kept asking what was going on and why was he acting like this, in the same way my friends were like jeez, youre both like a house on fire!

Still, we kept chatting and it was some of the most stimulating conversation Ive ever had with someone I just met – not to mention I thought he was cute to boot! He was flattering and complimentary without being sleazy and at the end of the night we shared a kiss and exchanged numbers.

He called me the next day and took me out for a long lunch which led into an even longer dinner at a few of his favourite places.

Again I had the most beautiful day and when he dropped me home I thanked him and said how refreshing I found it meeting someone as on my level as him. He agreed and insisted that he was just happy id accepted his invitation and he was kind of shocked meeting me, as it wasn’t expected and he couldn’t believe how well we got along either.

He called every day and at the end of the week asked me out again. Again another long 10 hour date of dinner and chatting and a bit of fooling around. It ended equally well, and I was feeling so happy and confident and sure things were going in a great direction, behaviourally, verbally and in every way he seemed ridiculously keen and engaged by me, almost to the point were he seemed in awe!

At this point I couldn’t be happier.

He continues to contact me daily and after a few days I also feel happy and confident enough to do the same. All is good.

However in the past weekend, he has had things on, which he has mentioned, but in accompaniement, he has essentially stopped contacting me, and in response to my messages he isn’t quiter as engaged, almost disconnected.

No mention of taking me out again, although mentions things that we could do at some point in the near future.

Yet has made no action, and I now haven’t heard a peep in four days.

I am so confused, I’m not easily fooled and I was certain that there was not only something there but that he was so interested in something genuine.

All our mutual friends and my friends keep asking how its going and when I say – its now NOT going- they’re all so shocked and surprised saying how is that possible you two were rolling in fire and so into eachother.

I’m wondering the same thing, I would like to still see him again, but I don’t want to settle for being at someones convenience, especially when they chased ME to begin with.

Any thoughts?

[runner]

if your gut is telling you that he's a flake, then you didn't misread him.

[oldshirt]

Maybe his girlfriend is back from college this weekend.

 

or it could be a hundred other things. Some of those things may be legit, some may indicate it was a nice few days but nothing more will come from it.

 

Stop calling/txtng for a few days and see what happens. If nothing happens then you pretty much have your answer.

 

If he calls you in the middle of the night for a booty call, then you have that answer.

 

If he calls with a realistic, reasonable story about why he has been offline then you can decide if you want to try again or not.

 

If he calls you out of the blue in the future acting like nothing is out of the ordinary, then you ask him what he's been up to and why the silence. If he seems put off or doesn't understand why you are concerned then it means that your relationship does not mean as much to him as it did to you. some people are just sociable, engaging and charming and while you think it is something special, it is just normal social interaction to them.

[zaphodb2002]

While personally, I like to make sure if someone contacts me, I give them at least a "sorry, very busy, but I will get back to you" or whatnot, sometimes you get swamped in other things. He might be a flake, or he might have some serious things going on in his life. I have a disabled brother and there have been times when I've been called away to help take care of him when he's very ill or recovering from surgery, or maybe he's got something weighing on him emotionally. Hopefully he gets back to you, and hopefully he's not a flake. If it goes more than a week without contact... well, then he wasn't THAT invested anyway.