Why does he need to see other people?

[Caine]

Okay, so...I've been seeing this guy since July 4th. He is twenty-four and I'm twenty-one. We've been friends with benefits, I guess...but I wasn't too sure until recently we weren't actually dating anymore. I know it sounds bad, but because of my naivete I have been falling in love with him. He said he wants to see other people because he's looking for the right person but still wants to be friends. He's git a hard time discussing and says we can still be fwbs, etc. I don't know...I really feel I want to...because its not simply fwb stuff. I adore this guy more than he knows. The other day I wrote a letter and we tried discussing, but friends interrupted...so we had to pause. I need to decide if I can still even be his friend if I'm not the "right one"...he didn't give me a chance to be a standalone boyfriend, even if he says he cares, etc. I'm scared of our next meeting. He's obviously gonna be sad and keep true, as I can't hope a miracle will come. I just want him to be happy, but he wants me in his life for that...as well as a bunch of other guys and awkward nights at the club. I'm so darn confused and upset.

[harrymark]

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again — when in doubt, start by drop everything he SAID and just look at what he DID. In this context it’s a little tougher to do, since it seems like there’s only words. But I think you’re better off not looking at it that way. Here’s what I mean.

One of the ways I size up a situation is by looking at the details that you choose to tell me. So when you write that he was “nice all the time”, that you “hit him upside the head”, that you’re “aggressive towards him”, and that he apologizes when you “bitch him out”… it paints a picture of the situation as you want me to see it.