Just needed to tell my story

[Wed]

I’m in my late 20s and recently got married, my wife and I met over 3 years ago, when we were dating I already knew she had mental problems and we had our differences because I had western upbringing and she’s very traditional Asian. But she loved me very much, we were broke and she spends her money on me to the point where she sold some of her stuff to get the money (I didn’t ask her to, I didn’t even know she did it until later). Then we had sex, she was a virgin and by the cultural rules I had to marry her, things were ok at the time so I proposed, we got engaged.

 

Few months before we were married I already notice signs of troubles. She became a lot more demanding, stubborn and hateful. But I thought it was all pre wedding stress.

 

I had my doubt back then, but we went through it anyway. After marriage things got worse, she’s lazy and don’t do much, when she helps out on little stuff she will complain about it for days on how I’m just using her, she demanded stuff like her own house, car and personal driver. Sometimes she admits she has a lot of mental problem, says she doesn’t want to be this way and promises to change but then keep doing the same thing over and over again. She hates man, all the female in her family think man are useless and evil, she’s racist she thinks certain ethnic group is all liars and evil, she can’t keep friends and thinks all her non immediate family is evil(uncles & cousins). She hates rich people because they are spoiled never experience hard life and so on.

 

Honestly I regret marrying her sometime, yet I don’t want to give up on her so soon because we did had our good time, my family think I should take her to a psychiatrist but she refused saying local doctors are faker and useless.

 

I’m just lost…..

[TigerCub]

Hey Wed,

 

Yeah I was gonna ask you if she's getting any medical attention for her "mental issues" - but I guess she's not.

 

Has she actually ever been diagnosed for any kind of mental disorder?

Because if not, then maybe you're classifying bitchiness as mental disorder.

 

What is her mental issue?

[StoneCold]

Wow she needs help

[Wed]

Hey Wed,

 

Yeah I was gonna ask you if she's getting any medical attention for her "mental issues" - but I guess she's not.

 

Has she actually ever been diagnosed for any kind of mental disorder?

Because if not, then maybe you're classifying bitchiness as mental disorder.

 

What is her mental issue?

 

Yea shes never been diagnosed because as as said she think local doctor are useless.

 

I don't think its just bitchiness. Sometimes she lay on the floor crying and when i ask her she said she just feeling bad. sometime she said she don't want to live anymore, she feels like everyone is disrespecting her or using her because she was poor and so on.

 

Yesterday she cried and ask for forgiveness and promises to change (again) i know shes sincere and she wants to be happy but i don't know if she can change without professional help.

[TigerCub]

Yea shes never been diagnosed because as as said she think local doctor are useless.

 

I don't think its just bitchiness. Sometimes she lay on the floor crying and when i ask her she said she just feeling bad. sometime she said she don't want to live anymore, she feels like everyone is disrespecting her or using her because she was poor and so on.

 

Yesterday she cried and ask for forgiveness and promises to change (again) i know shes sincere and she wants to be happy but i don't know if she can change without professional help.

 

I understand.

 

There isn't really anything more you can do except tell her, promising to change isn't going to cut it, she needs to show you that she is sincere by going to a doctor to at least get checked out.

 

At some point, if you actually want to live any kind of happy life, you're going to have to give her the ultimatum of "either do get help, or we're done"

 

It's not her fault if she has a mental disorder, but it should be her responsibility to herself and to you to try and deal with it the best way possible and just promising, isn't anything really.

 

Good luck