HoneyBfly3270 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Hey Everyone, I know already what some people tell me...why are you with him? So, I can understand if you guys say the same lol...heres my story... I've known my BF for 5 years now...we were friends before and then last year he and I started seeing each other. Problem #1 was that he had just got out of a relationship about a month or so before we started seeing each other so he didn't want to rush into anything...but shorty after that we were seeing a lot of each other...he and his ex were still talking as "friends" or trying to...but it wasn't until maybe late December early january that it started to become an issue for me....first off...he called me one day and told me that he had been thinking about his ex...and I didn't know it until recently that at the time they had been talking in depth about their relationship on facebook. Now, I can understand that he needed time to cope...I totally get that..but if you read on you might see why it was hard for me. He would say "hey wanna hang out?" so I would be waiting for him to come over...he wouldn't show...he would say "I fell asleep" this kept happening through the course of a few months...I told him if he wanted me to let him be so he could deal with his ex I would...he didn't want that....then in March ..I found out he had been talking to a girl we used to work with and who we both know...they had liked each other before back 5 yrs ago...and she is engaged now...but I noticed that he had a message on his phone and he wouldn't look at it and instead tried to say it was a message from me earlier...well it was her saying "i miss you" and what not..stupid me, I didnt' look through the whole message...but if he wasn't saying anything to provoke her and leading her to say these things...why would he lie? Right there, with him lying to my face...that broke a lot of trust...Then in April..we became official...I felt like I should give him a shot to regain my trust...then recently I find out, also back in March that he had been talking to this 19 year old skank lol....it didn't seem like anything much..nothing sexual was said from the messages I saw...though they were only a few messages...but why would you want to be friends with a 19 year old girl??hes 25...anyway...so then...next weird thing...we had a birthday party to go to but he wanted to go BY HIMSELF to STOP BY another friends party before we went...if we're together..why wouldn't you bring me? I was upset about that. He ended up not going though...hmm? Then we were out and this chick with huge boobs walks by and he was having fun looking at her boobs lol...of course he denies this...I know men look but you don't have to do it right in front of me....next...he dissapears on a friday night for 5 or 6 hours...I'm calling and calling and texting because im worried about him...he claims him and his brother got into an argument over their apt. and then he went to see another friend...but he couldn't have just told me that? That was when things really became shaky....He knew he completely lost all of my trust...and then he said he wouldn't do these things anymore...2 weeks later he does it again...I know he was stressed with the fact that his brother was moving and leaving him with the apartment...but why would you isolate me?? He would also lie about where he was...he would say he was at his moms house...or he had to pick his brother up from the airport...2 hours before his flight was supposed to get in...REALLY? I'm NOT THAT DUMB! And last month, he admitted that he didn't pick his brother up from the airport..so I asked him where he was...he claims he was at his house...WHY LIE? I'm sure that lie wasn't all so he could just "hang out at home".....All of the times hes lied...and now it's really eating me up inside. I'm not the type of person whose trust can be abused like that. I love him and care for him and I think some of his intentions are good...but either hes a compulsive liar or hes a cheater...or hes both...I don't know. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
patience82 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 Both.. we just keep tolerating so men like that are okay doing it again and again ... because they are sure they can get away with it and that we love them... we know what to do .. we're just closing our eyes... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HoneyBfly3270 Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 *sigh* You aren't lying about that! LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
patience82 Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 sometimes .. it will just turn out funny... and you begin to doubt yourself .. if are we the ones that are messed up staying in this mess.. or females are just born masochists.. just a thought... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HoneyBfly3270 Posted November 26, 2011 Author Share Posted November 26, 2011 I guess you're right.....maybe I meant to say that I don't deal with it well lol...maybe I just let it become something I didn't think would be a permanent thing ...I'm the type of person who always waits to see if a person will wake up one day and change and see what they have but that doesn't usually happen. I have caught him in numerous lies you're right....and maybe he's made me feel like I had to just move on from those lies ...but I really haven't, I just have to pretend. But if he goes anywhere or says he's somewhere I don't believe him and I'll even drive somewhere to make sure.....You would think for most people that would be the last straw...I guess not me. One day I'll wake up, and it's sad because I know I don't deserve this yet I won't leave yet. I feel like im 2 ppl sometimes. It's crazy what we let men do to us....I just always feel that I won't ever find better so why try to look. I know how that sounds but I feel defeated for a lot of reasons ...just from things that have happened in my life.... I appreciate the input, and that's about what everyone else says when they talk to me about this. Link to post Share on other sites
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