lucky7 Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 Hi everyone!! Ok....I met this guy online everything was great called me ten times a day....yada yada. Very passionate and told me he knew I was the one, always wanted to see me, etc. We felt a great connection...however he asked me to move in after 3 weeks of knowing me and asked me what kind of engagement ring I would want and how many carots!! I was hesitant but decided to move in with him after my lease was up f/my apartments (in two months). He asks me to go on a week trip w/him to FL (i live in AZ) after the second day we met. Again I was hesitant but I felt so overwhelmed and really enjoyed his company and thought this was exciting. So I agreed. A month later we went to FL (he was working that week) and THAT'S when everything changed. He goes out of town almost every weekend for work, his life revolves around his career, and I started to realize that if I chose to be with him, I would not be a high priority in his life. I wondered if he would give me the support I need (I can be very supportive, but im also seeing a therapist because of depression so I would need support as well). Right before I met him I decided to go into counseling which was long overdue. After I met him i was very confused because I have always had relationship problems and wondered if I was ready for all this seriousness. So....I brought up my concerns to him. It turned into an argument and he said he didnt want me to move in anymore....I was hurt because he said "everything is changed now" because I brought up my thoughts and concerns. I was very hurt but we both decided to take things slow. Well not being committed to someone in 3 yrs I didnt know if that meant we should see other people. I just feel odd being committed to someone, if he is unsure and I am unsure if we are right for eachother. he said he didnt want to see anybody else. This was two months ago and it feels like things are drifting apart, but one of the reasons is I never gave him the "space" that he wanted. We still talked everyday but he stopped saying nice things to me, doesnt call that much....and not wanting to see me very much... Im confused...Im scared of what will happen...Im still in counseling and I DONT want all my sessions to end up revolving around him and what's going on between us. Im just so confused because I started to believe that he and I could have a future together. Now...should I become distant? See I've always had distance problems with people, shut them out...and they don't know why. But I also don't want to put much into this because he seems very unsure about me now. Any advise?? Thanks guys!! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 One of the biggest red flags there can be, IMHO, is a fellow who wants to spend the rest of his life with you one day after you've met. All the things he did - asking you to go away with him, asking you to move in - occurred 'way too soon. It's not really a sign of someone able to have healthy relationships. I'm sorry to say it, but I'm afraid his flash-in-the-pan romance with you may be over. If so, and if you go on to date other online folks, look out for these speedy types. Link to post Share on other sites
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