Bohdi10 Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 I just got back from hanging out with some of my friends and I asked there advice on a matter. I have a girl that i have been talking to on and off again on the phone and she calls me back once in awhile but I don't think I'm a major priority in her life at the moment. She is supposed to observe my class on Thursday but she hasn't called me yet about it. My friends that are girls think that she is not completely interested but she is leaving her options open since she is still calling but not coming out to hang out with me so far. They think I should pursue her and think that I sell myself short by not being more confident. They think I'm a greater guy then I think I am. Since she didn't call me back about observing me and thursday is the day she is supposed to observe me, they said for me to call her tomorrow night and find out what is up if she doesn' t call me by then. What do you think I should do? and what do you think about there opinion? I want to know so I can figure out what to do Link to post Share on other sites
lexnmike4enomore Posted May 26, 2004 Share Posted May 26, 2004 I would say call her. That gives you a reason to call and maybe strike up a conversation. Then after the conversation is light, ask her for coffee or something. Nothing huge like dinner, maybe lunch.........OH!!!!!! ask her out for lunch on the day shes obseriving you. Im sure that you guys have a break at the same time. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted May 26, 2004 Author Share Posted May 26, 2004 She called my back today. She called me before her college class. We talked for like 15 minutes. She said she dind't want to cut me short but she had to go to class. She didn't know if she was going to be able to take off work to observe my class tomorrow because the girl who would be taking her place just went into labor. So she is going to call me later about it. I think because she called me back she has to be interested, otherwise she would have blew me off by now. Your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
lexnmike4enomore Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Absolutely.......she has to at least care about you enough not to blow you off.....next time she calls.........try to stay on the phone a little bit longer....let her know that your interested... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted May 27, 2004 Author Share Posted May 27, 2004 Last I replyed to you she was supposed to call me after her college class. She didn't call. Why? What should my next move be? I don't know if I should call her because then I feel like I'm bugging her and no one likes a nag. But at the same time if I don't call her we may lose touch if too many days go by. Suggestions? This is a tricky one..... Link to post Share on other sites
lexnmike4enomore Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 This is a tricky situation......Is there any place where you can "accidentally" run into her. To me if she seems like in a rush all the time...shes not really interested. But now that she cant observe your class......if she doesn't talk to you after that...shes def not interested....But if she doesn't call you in a few days......then i wouldn't call her...try and take a hint...thats the most obvious one out there......sorry.....but don't bug her......that will make her really want to run......try bumping into her some where.......OR......get enough balls to just call her and ask her out....ask her to lunch.....if she makes up an excuse thats ur hint to move one........Theres no better way to see if shes interested than to flat out ask her out...but not something big..work your way up to that.....let me know... Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 This is the same person you've invited out twice before & she didn't show. I've already said that to my mind if a girl was interested she would have made the time to have met up with you & your friends on at least one of the two occasions that you've invited her out. After all, a general invitation to meet up with you & friends is no way near as nerve racking as a one-on-one date and yet she still didn't show up. Now she's not calling you back when she says she will. It's hard to imagine that someone is SO busy that they can't even make a phone call, especially to someone that they may be interested in. You can keep calling & keep asking her out until finally she asks you to leave her alone. Or you can take the hint. It's up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted May 27, 2004 Author Share Posted May 27, 2004 Well its like this, I know it seems like I'm getting hinted in two ways. One way is that she gave me her number and actually called me back on numerous occasions and had the kindness to call back and apologize. And she has called me on occasions to talk. We just happened to have not gotten the chance to hang out, because on the two occasions I asked her to come out she was working that night and ended up not going out at all. ANd the other time where I put it in a way that we should meet up and she went to a local restaurant with friends for an hour and went home. I haven't blatantly asked her out, I have just questioned at getting together if she was doing something. On the other way she is hinting is that she is not interested at all by coming not coming out and certain occasions where she says I'll call you back and she doesn't that night and calls me a few days later. I am trying to look at the whole picture at past experiences I have had with getting numbers at bars and other relationships. I mean in the past I have gotten numbers from girls at bars and they either didn't ever pick up their phone or they just sounded so awkward on the phone that they were like I have no interest. It is like I'm getting hints in both directions, its like I'm interested/ but I'm not. I know some girls are undecided at what they want. I also know this girl is balancing out alot as am I lately. She is working two jobs and taking a summer class at night. She is constantly busy, but she still finds the time to call me and chat for little periods of time. I mean that would be strange way to hint and not being interested, I am going to call you back, but she doesn't and then she calls back later in the week. You would normally just say I'm not ever calling him back. Most girls wouldn't ever call back. But at the same time we haven't hung out yet. Half of me is saying give up and the other half is saying stick it out and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueLP Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 I'm with bluechocolate on this one, it sounds to me like maybe she's a nice girl who's trying to nicely hint that she's not really interested. She doesn't want to be rude or tell you anything outright, but she probably would have made time or talked to you for longer or something if she was really interested. If she is in fact interested but really busy, is it worth it to you pursuing her anyway? This type of busy pattern may be the way things would be with you and her. So sorry, but it doesn't sound like the best. However, this is your situation, and if you disagree and still think that she really is interested, then make a move. It sounds like you won't really know the answer until then in my opinion, you'll keep feeling all this 50/50 stuff. What do you have to lose? Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbie Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 it's tricky this friend/ potential girlfriend divide. She might want to hang out as just friends. Do whatever feels right and don't worry too much if it's not the outcome you'd prefer. They think I should pursue her and think that I sell myself short by not being more confident. They think I'm a greater guy then I think I am. and work on this, your self-esteem. It's okay to be a great guy and know you are! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted May 28, 2004 Author Share Posted May 28, 2004 I got a call from her tonight and talked to her for over an hour. We talked about alot of stuff and still have alot to talk about. She is definitely single and let me know that in our talk tonight. She was going out to the bar tonight so she had to go but I asked her what she was up to tomorrow. She said that she never knows whats up for fridays because everyone is usually beat from thursday nights. I said well even if you aren't going out lets me and you hang out for a little bit. She said okay and said for me to call her tomorrow when I'm done. Am I In or What?? Also, what kind of thing should I do with her tomorrow when I'm done work? Suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bohdi10 Posted May 29, 2004 Author Share Posted May 29, 2004 I missed her call but she said that her and some friends were actually going out tonight. She said for me to call her back and if not that she will see me out. I have been trying to scrounge up some of my buddies to go out but most of them are doing nothing because they have to work the next day. What would you do in a situation like this? would you go out by yourself? or What? Link to post Share on other sites
Kalieris Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 She's been fairly nonconfrontational about it, but she does not at all seem interested. I would let this go, and direct your attentions elsewhere, before you really piss her off. If she does decide to initiate something with you, she knows how to get in touch with you. Leave it in her court, and move on. K. EDITED: Somehow I missed your last 2 posts. I still don't really trust that she'll pan out as a relationship, but she at least gave you an opening to work with. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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