Emails

[Beth]

This may seem like a dumb question. But here goes anyway.

 

There's this guy who has shown some interest in me, that I just think of as a friend. He and I went out a few times, but that's it. Nothing romantic even remotely happened.

 

I have a job in which I'm online a lot, therefore, I will email basically any of my friends who write me. He and I started writing, and we would send up to 3-4 emails a day to each other. Being the idiot that I am, I really didn't think of the message this could be sending. Our emails were very innocent, and even "boring". Just "hey, how's your day going", stuff like that.

 

There's another guy that I really like, and it's a mutual friend. Nothing romantic has happened there either, but we have been very close for over 2 years. Two weeks ago, we planned a trip together. It was to KY and we live in FL. I had a GREAT time, and felt something could be developing. But this guy told me the night before we left that the other guy asked him "where are you going with my girlfriend?" I was shocked. There's NOTHING there!

 

When a friend pointed out to me that he could be thinking something from the emails, I stopped, and of course, he stopped too.

 

We went a week without anything, and today I got another. Nothing special, just "hey, what's up", and I don't know what to do.

 

This probably sounds dumb, but it's a serious question for me. The two of us have been friends for almost 2 years, and I don't want to mess anything up. Please advise. Thanks!

[Jenna]

If you truly regard this man as a friend- then you should feel comfortable about addressing your concern.

 

I would ask him what he meant by his comment to your date (the girlfriend thing)- and give him a chance to explain. He may have only been joking and the other guy took him seriously since he is interested in you.

 

If the friend does have feelings for you and has been trying to work his way into your heart with these emails- you need to be honest with him about how you feel (or don't feel) If you let him figure it out on his own- you will almost certainly lose his friendship- by letting him think you don't care.

 

It is hard to maintain a friendship with someone who has stronger feelings than you do. If it is too difficult- then you should let him go completely before you really hurt him. Can you imagine being attracted to someone that only saw you as a friend- and having to set by an watch them fall in love with someone else?? Ouch.

 

Good Luck- Jenna

This may seem like a dumb question. But here goes anyway. There's this guy who has shown some interest in me, that I just think of as a friend. He and I went out a few times, but that's it. Nothing romantic even remotely happened. I have a job in which I'm online a lot, therefore, I will email basically any of my friends who write me. He and I started writing, and we would send up to 3-4 emails a day to each other. Being the idiot that I am, I really didn't think of the message this could be sending. Our emails were very innocent, and even "boring". Just "hey, how's your day going", stuff like that. There's another guy that I really like, and it's a mutual friend. Nothing romantic has happened there either, but we have been very close for over 2 years. Two weeks ago, we planned a trip together. It was to KY and we live in FL. I had a GREAT time, and felt something could be developing. But this guy told me the night before we left that the other guy asked him "where are you going with my girlfriend?" I was shocked. There's NOTHING there! When a friend pointed out to me that he could be thinking something from the emails, I stopped, and of course, he stopped too. We went a week without anything, and today I got another. Nothing special, just "hey, what's up", and I don't know what to do.

 

This probably sounds dumb, but it's a serious question for me. The two of us have been friends for almost 2 years, and I don't want to mess anything up. Please advise. Thanks!