YouNeverKnow86 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Spitting the beans early and giving us all the details will help us to also help you. Yes you are right, she had her eye on him from before and all the reactions have been caused by her guilty consciousness Yeah man and it is just a damn shame. All I know is that around the same time (2 months ago) she told me to stop contacing her she readded her ex and his friends back on Facebook. All I know is that she is currently still single. Maybe she needed closure on that end in order for her to move on in her life? I have no clue but she took me for granted. When she does come around one day I really just think I am going to ignore her like she has done to me. I really can't forget all the pain she has caused me no matter how much I do care about her. I just find it funny that the both times she has saw me out she will look over at me numerious times. We will both look at each other but won't say a word, damn shame it has come to this. It's just funny that she probably has reversed what her ex did to her unto me. Link to post Share on other sites
4givrnt4gtr Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 You got the whole name calling thing too? These girls are unreal A girl calling herself names, as you said, is more about you than about her. She is calling herself all these bad things because on one hand she knows that what she is doing, without the context of what is going on in her mind (which she won't give you in order to spare you of what she TRULY thinks of you and the relationship) looks like she is a b*tch. However, in very few instances, does a girl ACTUALLY thinks she is a b*tch...this is more for your benefit, so its easier for you to separate, after all, why would you want to be with a self admitted b*tch? You know, reading what you guys write make me see how all these little tactics we use to "make it easier" just makes it much more confusing and painful for you guys. Im really sorry you guys are all going through this...but from the perspective of a dumper, trust me when I tell you, you deserve better....MUCH better than what your dumper is able to give you. Whether because she doesn't want to or she cant...it doesn't matter. You all deserve loving women who would never EVER had a though on her mind of being without you. That's what we all deserve, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadpanda87 Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 thats very nice of you 4giv seems like a lot of the agony can be avoided if everyone can just open up and be straight with each other like adults and deal with it together. instead of one side putting the shields up and breaking the heart of the partner who's left in confusion and doubts. Link to post Share on other sites
NYOrLAGuy Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 the one thing i think i've learned over my 36 years is that there are so many shades of gray in life, that it's just way too impossible to try to apply simple cliches such as "true love" or "unconditional love" to situations. i'm sure a lot of it is positing my hopes of my ex returning to me, but i still to this day don't doubt that she loved me. truly loved me. i never delved into specifics with her because i simply didn't care about her past with other men, but i always felt that i was the first person she had a real, long-term loving relationship with. and that can scare the hell out of someone if they've never experienced it before. moreso, if you have the history of a father who's rejected you and abandoned your family. she left, still hasn't given me any indication that she's receptive to anything at all regarding being in each other's life, but i still get an overwhelming feeling that we are still somehow meant to be. that once she sees the world around her, sees other men, she will discover the truth on her own. so does t he fact that she's on her own journey now mean that what we had wasn't true love? perhaps, but in a life with so many varying and ever-changing dimensions to it (as opposed to movies, who have conditioned us to define these cliches in no uncertain terms), sometimes these realizations can only happen after a journey on one's own. my lady never was self-deprecating like you other fellas, but if anything, it does tell me that your ex's need some self-discovery time to find out who they are, and more importantly, who they want to be. Will this mean they will return once the truth dawns on them? I wish I could say, but here's hoping, right? Link to post Share on other sites
YouNeverKnow86 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 A girl calling herself names, as you said, is more about you than about her. She is calling herself all these bad things because on one hand she knows that what she is doing, without the context of what is going on in her mind (which she won't give you in order to spare you of what she TRULY thinks of you and the relationship) looks like she is a b*tch. However, in very few instances, does a girl ACTUALLY thinks she is a b*tch...this is more for your benefit, so its easier for you to separate, after all, why would you want to be with a self admitted b*tch? You know, reading what you guys write make me see how all these little tactics we use to "make it easier" just makes it much more confusing and painful for you guys. Im really sorry you guys are all going through this...but from the perspective of a dumper, trust me when I tell you, you deserve better....MUCH better than what your dumper is able to give you. Whether because she doesn't want to or she cant...it doesn't matter. You all deserve loving women who would never EVER had a though on her mind of being without you. That's what we all deserve, I think. Yeah it all makes sense, about a week after her tantrum she called me to apologize for her actions. Link to post Share on other sites
YouNeverKnow86 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 the one thing i think i've learned over my 36 years is that there are so many shades of gray in life, that it's just way too impossible to try to apply simple cliches such as "true love" or "unconditional love" to situations. i'm sure a lot of it is positing my hopes of my ex returning to me, but i still to this day don't doubt that she loved me. truly loved me. i never delved into specifics with her because i simply didn't care about her past with other men, but i always felt that i was the first person she had a real, long-term loving relationship with. and that can scare the hell out of someone if they've never experienced it before. moreso, if you have the history of a father who's rejected you and abandoned your family. she left, still hasn't given me any indication that she's receptive to anything at all regarding being in each other's life, but i still get an overwhelming feeling that we are still somehow meant to be. that once she sees the world around her, sees other men, she will discover the truth on her own. so does t he fact that she's on her own journey now mean that what we had wasn't true love? perhaps, but in a life with so many varying and ever-changing dimensions to it (as opposed to movies, who have conditioned us to define these cliches in no uncertain terms), sometimes these realizations can only happen after a journey on one's own. my lady never was self-deprecating like you other fellas, but if anything, it does tell me that your ex's need some self-discovery time to find out who they are, and more importantly, who they want to be. Will this mean they will return once the truth dawns on them? I wish I could say, but here's hoping, right? Ny/La, This makes sense. A few days after I confronted her about her ex and went off (I did apologize) but was ignored, she had her FATHER text me to "move on and please leave her alone." It's funny how pathetic some dumpers get to the point they run away from the issues, drive us crazy, and act so immature. What 22 year old girl has their father text an ex (she does live at home though). The funny thing is that her parents loved me. I ran into her mom a week later after her father sent that text and she was nice to me so I have no idea. I haven't said a thing to the ex after her father sent that.......She burnt her last bridge by doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadpanda87 Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 that seems like a very in appropriate thing to do... unless you were stalking her or something. compared to that all im getting is 'i still care about you, just not romantically. (so lets just be friends)'. the things ppl do and say when they put their defenses up... Link to post Share on other sites
YouNeverKnow86 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) that seems like a very in appropriate thing to do... unless you were stalking her or something. compared to that all im getting is 'i still care about you, just not romantically. (so lets just be friends)'. the things ppl do and say when they put their defenses up... I wasn't stalking.....Called her once after she said no more contact (no response), then went off one night about her ex boyfriend and telling her she didnt deserve me (through text), finally apologized and reminded her how I really felt/that I forgave her how she treated me (still ignored me). I just don't get her father texting me......That was totally wrong and not mature on her part. What 22 year old has their father text their ex? So pathetic. Edited November 30, 2011 by YouNeverKnow86 Link to post Share on other sites
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