Sugarkane Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Why this person? Why don't you keep dating? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
RiverRunning Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I honestly think the whole concept of "the one" or a "soulmate" is a load of crap. Plenty of people remarry after a divorce or a death, and they go on to be just as happy. No one person can completely fill the voids we're looking for. So, it's nice that we have a wider social circle - maybe a relative fills that need for a sense of humor, a friend the need to discuss art. I think that people stop and marry the person who fills MOST of their needs and who could be expected to fill them over the long haul. That person becomes the 'one' when both are usually in their mid to late 20s and when one or both are financially stable. It's not so much the person as it is the right timing that makes a person 'the one.' Dating is a lot like going to a casino. You start gambling, and sooner or later you're up $5,000. You could continue to gamble - potentially expanding that to $50,000, or you could dwindle it down to nothing - or you could walk away, ensuring that your money is completely safe. You may or may not decide you're happy enough with the $5k. You may always wonder about the $50k that got away, but at least you didn't walk out with nothing. Dating is the same. If you've got a great guy, you don't want to bank on spending several years more potentially looking for one just as good or better. And as you get older, your odds of finding good dates drop sharply, especially if you're a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
bhrandy Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I guess there is a certain feeling that you feel when you are with him/her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 I guess there is a certain feeling that you feel when you are with him/her. Yeah I used to have that feeling with a couple of my exes. But they didn't work out. Link to post Share on other sites
sLiPpeTh Posted December 9, 2011 Share Posted December 9, 2011 Indeed, that certain feeling typically last between eighteen months and three years for women. Love can feel like euphoria. Men do not experience it in the same way. It's a biologically driven process. So...I don't believe in "True Love." I think it's bullchit. Plus, I believe that if society adjusted it's lens. To something more reality based. Like how to be a good partner. How to be a good father or a good mother. How to make a household work. That cycle of euphoria for women, and however men experience their own biology. Just might transform into a long term bonding. Maybe not. Honestly, people are animals. Animals ARE NOT primarily monogomous. It's a pipe dream. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 it's a sure feeling that you have about that particular person. In my case, it was the first time I'd actually considered marriage as a viable option ~ I was more interested in leaving the hell I called my hometown & getting my college degree; when he started talking marriage, it all fell together. That was almost 20 years ago ... would I do it again? I have no idea, because who's to say the right factor of events would take place exactly the way they did this time? However, I *do* know that I'm glad I trusted this gut instinct to marry him oh, and for the record? Those of you naysayers who want to know why give up all those wonderful opportunities for sex and being with someone new have got to understand there comes a point in your life when that's no longer enough. That you want someone who is truly your emotional home. Because when you do find that relationship that you're meant to be in, you realize that even though the other person drives you absolutely nuts because he's so pig-headed, it's where you actually want to be ... and that the idea of being with a new lover is that unappealing because you and your partner connect on all levels, not just the physical one. It's pretty heady stuff when it all comes together! Link to post Share on other sites
Sw3etdev1L Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 "The one" doesn't exist. There can be many "the ones"... The thing is... there are some people you are more compatible with and attracted to than others... when men and women are trying to find a match with whom they "could" be forever together with, they are thinking, of being loyal and commited... you cannot be commited or loyal to more than one person unless you would not be monogamous.... if you are monogamous, there is only one... and if you can only have one person in your life like that, then he/she should be a person you are the most attracted to and the most compatible to.... you could think you have "the one", but like you have never met another person who could be "better" than the person you are with then you think..you are with the one if he/she has the most characteristics you are searching in a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
DonJuanInc Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 She isn't the one. I'm not the one for her either. We're together because we enjoy each other and get along great. There are thousands of other guys that would make her happy in a different way than I do, and thousands of women that would make me happy in a different way than she does. I'm with her because I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with her, regardless of whether or not there might be a "better" fit out there. I don't really believe there is a way to say one person is better than another, it's all about finding someone you love and can be happy with. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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