Why does is still hurt?

[WordvAction]

I was involved in a very deep unrequited love for a much longer time than anyone should ever be (one year). It got so bad to the point where good days were when I talked to her and bad days were when I didn't. During this time, I also lost my sense of self, and became more focused on trying to make her happy. About 6 months into the UL, I was rejected. About a year in, I decided to cut all contact for several reasons. It's been 3 months of No talking whatsoever. However, I still have to see this girl much more than I want to now. (she joined the same company as me). I do fine on days when I don't see her, but on days when I do (especially when she's with her boyfriend), it still hurts a lot. I still don't talk to her, but despise the fact it still hurts to see her. I just want to move on, but it seems like I can't until I find someone else first.

[WordvAction]

Btw, this is more of a vent than looking for advice. I know I have to just stay the course, keep no contact, and have my mind on other things, but I still don't like the idea that after 3 months of no contact I still have feelings.

[sunflower11]

I don't think no contact is supposed to make the feelings go away, time does that. No contact helps you heal and see things in perspective. I read this somewhere "Heartbreak isn't on the clock - be patient instead of trying to force yourself to be over it. You didn't just get into the relationship in a hot minute (hopefully) so you're not going to be *over* it in a hot minute either. What helps are regular doses of self-care and reality. That and not trying to make yourself feel better by soothing yourself on your pain source."

 

My "first love" break up up took me over two years to realize that I had no more feelings (love/hate) for him. It has been 2 months since my very last break up and I know its way too soon to say I am over it, I dont care anymore. So you have to be patient and give it time.

[Popehappycat]

I don't think no contact is supposed to make the feelings go away, time does that. No contact helps you heal and see things in perspective. I read this somewhere "Heartbreak isn't on the clock - be patient instead of trying to force yourself to be over it. You didn't just get into the relationship in a hot minute (hopefully) so you're not going to be *over* it in a hot minute either. What helps are regular doses of self-care and reality. That and not trying to make yourself feel better by soothing yourself on your pain source."

 

My "first love" break up up took me over two years to realize that I had no more feelings (love/hate) for him. It has been 2 months since my very last break up and I know its way too soon to say I am over it, I dont care anymore. So you have to be patient and give it time.

 

Look at you, being all cool and collected! I'm so proud! :-P

 

And although OP just wants to vent, I still agree. Over a year here and I'm indifferent about my ex, but still bothered by the breakup from time to time, nothing I can't move past in a few minutes.