? Devastated

[poppy80]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am desperate for advice as I really dont know what to.

 

I had a feeling my husband was hiding something, he was so secretive over his phone. I have always trusted him but I decided to log on to his facebook and was shocked.

 

When he was at school he had a girlfriend and they got in touch about a year ago through facebook. I found some messages that really upset me but chose to ignore them. Then last night we were having a nice night together and I checked his phone and they have been talking and sending rude pictures of each other and my husband was saying what he wanted to do and that it will happen. Should I email her or confront him. She is also married with 2 children.

 

My life is my husband. I work so hard running my business so he doesnt have to and he can have a great life. I look after myself and always take pride in how I look. The other day he mentioned that he may not want children either which is so strange as he always said to me that if I didnt want them then we wouldnt work cos he really wanted them. I now feel so stupid and just dont know what to do. I dont think I can forgive him for this as some of the stuff written was awful. It was like he was bragging that he was talking to her and I was sat next to him. I am in bits I feel like my world has fallen apart.

 

We are going to egypt in Feb for our 10 year wedding ann but now I dont know what to do. I feel so sick. I thought everything was ok but I have a feeling while I am at work he is online over webcam with her.

 

All advice would be very much appreciated

 

Thank you

[bigmomma1974]

alot of things come to my m ind after I read this. first it was confront him then dump him. Next was to contact phone company if in your name and block her number and change the password so hubby cant access it. Confront his lying cheating azz.... cheaters make me ill to my stomach. If someone is unhappy they should leave not cause more unneeded pain. I feel for you and what your going through. Hell contact her husband also bust it all out.

[poppy80]

alot of things come to my m ind after I read this. first it was confront him then dump him. Next was to contact phone company if in your name and block her number and change the password so hubby cant access it. Confront his lying cheating azz.... cheaters make me ill to my stomach. If someone is unhappy they should leave not cause more unneeded pain. I feel for you and what your going through. Hell contact her husband also bust it all out.

 

Thank you for your reply. This was my first thought but I wanted to get more evidence so he cant just talk his way out of it. I feel so used and hurt. I feel he is only with me cos he has a comfortable life

[HelenaJ]

confront him then dump him.

 

Until you know the full story try not to be too hasty

 

Poppy, I don't know what action you have taken so far, but I went through a very similar experience with my fiancée. I found out he had been talking to a girl he knew from the last place he worked. He'd messaged her on facebook and they had started chatting.

 

It all started very innocent at first but the messages became more raunchy. She had asked for his cell number, so I knew he had been calling or that they had texted. So each night i would check his phone. For weeks there was nothing, all his calls and messages had been deleted, then one night after we'd been to a party i checked again and he had left an entire conversation on his phone.

 

I was devastated, i wanted to smother him in his sleep. I wont go into detail but the conversation was extremely explicit to say the least and they had spoken about emailing photos rather than picture messaging them, so i knew some photos had been going back and forth.

 

The following day i couldnt bare it any more and i confronted him about it. he sat with me and explained everything. He told me that non of the pictures were explicit (so he said, i have no proof) and that he only did it because he felt our relationship had no pazazz left in it and he just wanted to feel the buzz and spark again that was missing. He promised me they had never met, which i later confirmed with the girl as i called her up and confronted the bitch!

 

I don't know how far your partner has gone with this, but if it was calls and messages and nothing more, i'd try to put it behind you and forget about it, it's no worse than being a flirt in a club or watching dirty movies to get your rocks off. most men (and some women) do it. However, if he's gone further then you need to decide if you can work through it.

 

I wish you good luck and hope you can sort through your issues!

 

Helena!