beautifulearth83 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I've done a lot of things for my age. I've travelled a bit, been through some intense mental/emotional ups and downs. Broken relationships, dreams falling apart, feeling isolated from others. I'm not hear to whine, but I feel strange lately and I want to know if it is a phase. It's just like I'm not there. I used to have this emotional charge within me. Deep feelings of love and compassion for others, on a pretty consistent basis. I would do things to express this love. These days I don't know if people feel it. Certainly, there are times. But, lately, nothing really excites me or makes me feel grounded and alive. This evening I went to my 10 Year High School Reunion. I saw people dancing and all this stuff. It looks so amazing to be able to sweat and let yourself loose. I don't feel like I'm able to do that anymore. I feel rigid and lifeless, though I know I have potential, so what's the deal? Often I think that my job has to do with it. I work from home and don't interact with people that often or have a consistent social life. I mostly go to see my family and stuff. I just feel different. Life used to be my best friend, now I feel like I'm on the sidelines, watching everybody live. I don't feel that I'm depressed or sad, although I wouldn't argue against those types of feelings existing underneath. I just don't know who I am anymore... I feel it in my head, too. I feel bruised or like something needs to be healed or released or expanded or loved. I don't know. Anybody understand where I'm coming from? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 I so agree with your almost-instinct that it is largely a factor of your not being forced out into the world beyond. Find some reason to take a class or join a community activity or the like. That could be the first step toward your getting your groove back. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 (edited) I think I understand, OP. Intensity of emotions is absent. Fire, joie de vivre, lust for life, even acute feelings of pain aren't being experienced. Is this what you mean? And it is leaving life dull, and your experience of it dampened? Do you engage in activities that make you laugh hysterically? Get your heart pounding with fear? Bring you closer to your friends? Once over, leave you with a feeling of triumph? If not, introducing some into your life could be the ticket. And you wrote of feeling like "something needs to be healed or released or expanded or loved." Maybe it's an edge you're feeling. An edge of yourself that needs to expand just as you say. Perhaps your psychological/spiritual/emotional frameworks are at capacity and you need to push those edges and grow. Does that resonate with you at all? Edited November 28, 2011 by cerridwen Link to post Share on other sites
Author beautifulearth83 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 Thanks for your replies... You guys pretty much nailed it. Since posting this, I went to my High School reunion, talked with a bunch of people, spent time with an amazing girl... I felt life in me... It hasn't so much been like that... nothing I really look forward to. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Thanks for your replies... You guys pretty much nailed it. Since posting this, I went to my High School reunion, talked with a bunch of people, spent time with an amazing girl... I felt life in me... It hasn't so much been like that... nothing I really look forward to. Oh, that's great to hear! Good for you. Life needs tending sometimes to maximize quality. Nurturing relationships, infusing excitement, consciously growing in heart and mind. I'm glad you've had some renewal of spirit! Link to post Share on other sites
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