Dating someone who says they are legally divorced, but I'm not so sure..

[ForgottenAngel01]

I've been dating this guy for 8 months, and all this time he's been saying he's legally divorced... well the other night the 'whole' story came out in front of me and a bunch of other people. He said that his and his 'ex' seperated after a short time of marriage, it just didn't work out, they were too young. Anyways he said he had notified the courts about the speration and they were not going to get back together. He said him and his brother had found somewhere online about a law in Pennsylvania (where we both live) that says if I court has been notified of a seperation, that both parties agreed to, that after 7 years of being seperated it's considered a divorce, or some kind of seperation that is legal in the state of PA. Anyone know of anything that remotely sounds like this at all? Any information would be really imformative... and if he still is legally married, how am I going to break the news to him??

[KirkCamp]

Living in Pa. myself, I know some of the Commonwealth laws are a little odd. That's one where you might have to go to a legal forum or something to get an answer like that. The very fact that the whole story came out later tells me you should proceed with caution - if he's seperated, I don't see a problem with dating him but if somehow some of this isn't the complete truth, best for you to find out on your own and not interrogate the guy about it. Are you divorced yourself ? It might be a good stepping stone to tell each other that part of your lives whcih you usually can't to people since they either don't understand or even want to hear it. Good luck.

[befuddled11]

A very quick and simple thing to do would be to contact a divorce attorney in your area (assuming you live there in PA) and ask them if any of this makes sense. I know here in Canada, I've often used the Yellow Pages of the phone book to call up an attorney if I had a simple question. Eg) I was once dating a guy who said that he was nearly divorced but in order for it to become "final", he had to attend a special class for "parents who are getting divorced" (some kind of class that teaches parents how to help their kids through the divorce situation). It sounded a bit "odd" to me.....I wanted to be sure he wasn't pulling my leg, so I called up a local divorce attorney (female) and asked her if this sounded believable. She spent about 15 talking to me about my concerns, for free. Try it.

[HT_Nut]

I'm just going through this with a friend of mine that lives in PA.

 

In PA there is no "legal separation". Notifying the court that you are separated is as valuable as telling them your great grandfather is having a birthday party for his prize pig? They could care less. There is an 18 month living separate and apart for a no fault divorce.

 

But, if both partys have already agreed to the divorce and sign off on a marital settlement, the court will grant the divorce after a 90 day "cooling off period". Which, I'm told, actually takes about 6 months from the time of filing.

 

Honestly, if this guy WANTED a divorce, it's about $170.00 and 6 months. Even if his wife didn't want it, States have "Extreme Mental Cruelty" as a ground for divorce and it would still take only 6 months. And, Extreme Mental Cruelty" is taken from the perspective of the one filing for divorce on that ground. One could claim that "she always leaves the cap off the toothpaste" and the court would have to accept it as mental cruelty and grant the divorce. It's not up to a judge to define what he thinks mental cruelty is; that is left to the person wanting the divorce.

 

So, I guess you can tell that I'm saying this guy you're seeing is either misled, or very much full of s***!. Besides, is it his intent to not be able to get married again for 7 years? Bull!

 

My advice to you would be to get the information you need either from divorcenet.com or some other website that shows laws about divorce, show him the information, offer to help him through the process, and then sit back and watch him come up with excuse after excuse. Watching him try to squirm out of this should be fun once you confront him with the facts.

 

Of course, I could be wrong and he really believes what he's telling you is the way it is. If so, and he really wants the divorce, he'll be appreciative of you showing him how he can be single in 6 months. But my bet is that he doesn't want the divorce and he's the one dragging his feet; but in the meantime, he's out playing with other peoples emotions and trying to find a rebound.

 

Danny