jordjones Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 So, if there was any doubt before, my ex calling off our Thanksgiving date gave me the final hint that it is over. She broke up with me in July, I went NC for 2 1/2 months, and have been in LC for about 2 months. She agreed last week to get together for drinks the day after Thanksgiving, then backed out. We talked on the phone and she acted extremely cold and told me, "It's really just too soon; I'm trying to just move on; I'm worried that you will talk about the past..." In all honesty, I just wanted to meet up for a drink and have a good time. Sure, I was hoping this may springboard to something greater, but I really just wanted her to witness the improvements I have made firsthand. She left open the possibility of meeting over Christmas, but I am fed up with it at this point, but the conversation ended pretty badly It'd probably be best to just go NC, however, I feel that I need to let her know that I'm going back to NC to decrease the likelihood that I break it (if that makes sense). Thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
YouNeverKnow86 Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 So, if there was any doubt before, my ex calling off our Thanksgiving date gave me the final hint that it is over. She broke up with me in July, I went NC for 2 1/2 months, and have been in LC for about 2 months. She agreed last week to get together for drinks the day after Thanksgiving, then backed out. We talked on the phone and she acted extremely cold and told me, "It's really just too soon; I'm trying to just move on; I'm worried that you will talk about the past..." In all honesty, I just wanted to meet up for a drink and have a good time. Sure, I was hoping this may springboard to something greater, but I really just wanted her to witness the improvements I have made firsthand. She left open the possibility of meeting over Christmas, but I am fed up with it at this point, but the conversation ended pretty badly It'd probably be best to just go NC, however, I feel that I need to let her know that I'm going back to NC to decrease the likelihood that I break it (if that makes sense). Thoughts I heard those exact same words from my ex. They don't get it that we just want to chat and have a good time without bringing up the past. The funny thing is that they believe we don't get it either, so it is a loss-loss situation. You have to stay no contact man, I am going through the same bs Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 If she was acting all cold and distant on the phone, then why would you feel the need to tell her that you're going NC on her...she probably won't give a rats ass if you called her or not. SHe ditched you on your date. That should have spoken volumes to you. Times to heal and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 If she was acting all cold and distant on the phone, then why would you feel the need to tell her that you're going NC on her...she probably won't give a rats ass if you called her or not. SHe ditched you on your date. That should have spoken volumes to you. Times to heal and move on. ^^^this. it would be one thing if she was still wanting to stay in touch. then you could tell her. but letting her know when she's being so cold and matter-of-fact is going to be like water on a duck's back. it's not going to have any effect on her; she most likely won't even care. i would recommend you retain your dignity and go NC without saying a word. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jordjones Posted November 28, 2011 Author Share Posted November 28, 2011 I was just hopeful that something would be salvageable. Sure, I am in love with this girl. But I've gained freaking 20 lbs. of muscle since the breakup, kicked the GMAT in the ass, and got accepted to a solid MBA program already (she doesn't know any of this). I look hot and I was so looking forward to showing myself off. Dammit! Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 28, 2011 Share Posted November 28, 2011 LOL!! Good for you!!! Now, go strut your stuff to a girl that will appreciate it! If what you say is true, you won't have to worry about NC. Your new girl will probably send her a thank you card! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jordjones Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 I sent her a text this morning, which essentially said I wouldn't contact her anymore. I needed to do that for closure and to ensure I wouldn't be tempted to contact her over the holidays. 4 1/2 months after the break, I've given up. It's kind of sad, but at the same time, quite liberating. Thus begins the final phase of NC. Let the true healing begin. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 That's why I never answered any messages from my ex-boyfriend. Or that I never agreed on meeting him a few months after our break-up. When a relationship is over, we shouldn't kid ourselves that we are just 'friends' and that the past love relationship just has vanished into thin air. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jordjones Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 She texted me back, "I definitely don't plan to not speak to you or see you. I just need time. My sister is having a baby...I just need time..." Blah blah blah We haven't seen each other for 4 1/2 months...she'll have all the time she needs now. Link to post Share on other sites
YouNeverKnow86 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 She texted me back, "I definitely don't plan to not speak to you or see you. I just need time. My sister is having a baby...I just need time..." Blah blah blah We haven't seen each other for 4 1/2 months...she'll have all the time she needs now. Time as in let me see what else is out there to explore and if nothing works out I will get back to you. I am dealing with this same old bs..... Link to post Share on other sites
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