LoveAshley Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 There is this newer guy at my work. He's been there maybe 1-2 months. About 2 weeks ago, I started really noticing how cute he is. I also realized I hadn't really even spoken to him yet, so I decided to start. I have struck up a few convos with him, and tried to make more eye contact with him than usual, and tried to be witty. I am naturally a shy and quiet person, so I work slowly when I flirt. I do a little day by day. That's how I am. I thought things were off to a good start with this guy. I had a game plan started on how I was going to pursue him. All of a sudden, about 2 days ago, another female co-worker friend of mine who is 8 months pregnant and has a very serious boyfriend started picking on him playfully. I don't think she was trying to flirt with him or anything, because she does that to a lot of people. She's just very hormonal right now so she is very verbal and tends to act like a ball-buster at work, but she does it all in good fun. Well my crush started giving her a hard time too, so they've been playfully picking on each other back and forth, talking nonstop to each other... and it's really putting me off. I felt like she stole his attention away from me, even though there couldn't really be anything between them seeing as how she's taken...but I feel like I was just overshadowed and derailed in my attempt to flirt with him, and I feel like the reason is because she's so outgoing and I am shy and quiet. I didn't talk to him at all today and I felt so awkward in his presence. I feel like I am in high school again where I try to get a guy and he is stolen with one bat of an eye by some other girl and suddenly I am invisible. I hate it. Now I have feelings of defeat and resentment but at the same time, I feel like this is so silly and like it's all in my head. A part of me feels like I want to try even harder to flirt with him, but I also don't want to compete with girls who have way stronger personalities than me. Also I feel like it would be way too obvious. Everyone there knows I don't make a peep most of the time, and I hate how that is in my nature. I want to be more outgoing and noticeable to guys. And now I am thinking that maybe my effort was never big enough to begin with. He very well could have no idea I have an interest him and just see my talking to him as friendly chatter. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Just keep trying and eventually you will win out! Trust me this pregnant lady is probably just fun to chat with... you might be less outgoing at first, but once he catches on that you like him he will begin to see you differently. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveAshley Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 Thank you! That is reassuring. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Just keep trying and eventually you will win out! Trust me this pregnant lady is probably just fun to chat with... you might be less outgoing at first, but once he catches on that you like him he will begin to see you differently. I agree. It's very easy for guys to relax and feel comfortable with women who are taken. They let their guard down because they aren't trying to win her over, so they are just able to be themselves. He finds her easy to chat with, and she makes him feel good with all the attention. However, you are single and not pregnant with another man's child. So when he thinks about dating, he's going to be thinking about you, not her. It wouldn't hurt to step it up a little - look nice and wear some nice perfume and a flirtatious smile. He'll notice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveAshley Posted November 29, 2011 Author Share Posted November 29, 2011 I agree. It's very easy for guys to relax and feel comfortable with women who are taken. They let their guard down because they aren't trying to win her over, so they are just able to be themselves. He finds her easy to chat with, and she makes him feel good with all the attention. However, you are single and not pregnant with another man's child. So when he thinks about dating, he's going to be thinking about you, not her. It wouldn't hurt to step it up a little - look nice and wear some nice perfume and a flirtatious smile. He'll notice. I didn't really think of it that way, but it makes sense. I will take your advice, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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