If it's unattractive to show interest in a woman, how are you supposed to date her?

[bubcake]

I seemed to have learned a lesson at 25 (yeah , took me awhile). It seems that the more I ignore a woman (after talking her for 5-10 minutes max in a pub), the more interested she becomes. Yet the moment you show interest to ask her out, it seems that they get turned off.

Questions are:

 

1. Why is this?

 

2. Do women prefer a more casual approach when being asked out? Like: "Hey i'm heading to get a coffee. Wanna come?" It's implied interest, but nothing over?

 

Thank you.

A confused guy.

[spopov27]

There could be a number of reasons. One is you may be asking her out too early. Depending on how much you've actually talked, 5-10 minutes may not be enough for a girl to want to go out with you. Another reason could be that you captured her interest at the beginning, but then she lost interest steadily because either you stopped exuding confidence and/or she decided that you are too boring. Both of these have happened to me. The trick is approaching women with a mindset that isn't dependent on outcomes. Women like guys that are comfortable with themselves and you are not being comfortable with yourself if you are worried about rejection or worried about her reactions to you.

 

When you stop giving a crap about the outcome of your interactions with a woman you will automatically talk only when you actually have something interesting to say because youre not trying hard to think of 'good' things to say. Thus you will also pay less attention to her which will increase her attraction for you. So a third reason is you may be good talking and showing the right amount of interest at first but then suddenly come off as trying too hard when you ask her out. If when you ask her out out you are all nervous and worried about if she will say yes your body language and tone of voice will give this away and she will be turned off instantly. Which is why asking casually works so much better.

 

Women do prefer a more casual approach when being asked out. Make it seem like it was something you were already going to do but you are just deciding to bring her along. The example you gave is basically perfect, but I would refine it by saying "You should come" because making a statement is more confident than asking a question. When you ask her this way, there is less pressure on her and also it makes you seem much more exciting. This is because women love to be 'taken along for the ride'. By casually making her a part of what you're doing you show value, confidence, and leadership, all of which women love.

 

Remember, when it comes to attracting women, not giving a **** is truly the answer.

[somedude81]

Women only want men they are attracted to, to show interest in her. Otherwise she is annoyed.

[AHardDaysNight]

Women only want men they are attracted to, to show interest in her. Otherwise she is annoyed.

 

Pretty much. It's only unattractive when the woman finds the guy unattractive.

[Woggle]

Stop going for women with these kinds of issues.

[yongyong]

I've seen it all.

I have a good looking friend who gets approached by women sometimes or he approaches and it seems like it's going well. I tell my other friends 'give him 10 minutes' they leave him with annoyed face. he does all the stupid sxit you can imagine.

he gives her too much attention. he keeps grabbing her. he offers her free drinks. he follows her around. he won't leave her alone. now see the problem?

 

At the club, you should treat bixches differently. their ego is up to the ceiling even though they are 'so so looking girl'.

When you talk to her, let her come to you. I back up intentionally to see if she comes forward. I used to talk to her ears (just because it's noisy). it can freak her out. just yell out loud or make bring her ears closer to you. If her body is not facing you, don't try to grab her attention. If she wants to walk around with her friends, let her do that. don't follow her around and hit on other chicks in front of her (risky but reward is good)

I hate # closing since I have to wait couple days and work on txting game to ask her out. If you don't want to do that, just give her the number and tell her it's up to you (with I don't give a damn attitude)

I know it's kind of hard since you can't ignore her or give full attention to her.

But that's how they are