My resolve is waining

[nonameone]

Over the holiday I received one brief text, waited 24 hours, then responded with a two word text. He responded. I have not responded. He has not sent any more. Today is Day 3. Prior to that I had gone 7 days.

 

Once again I have a semi-legit reason to contact him. This is killing me. I sooooo want to go back and say I miss him as my friend and I'll never ask for more. But I know from experience that that is too painful an option.

 

What's really going on? I'm lonely. He was my friend and my boyfriend. I miss my friend. I have other friends, but its not the same. I feel like they are tired of me crying about all this and wonder why I haven't moved on (5 year relationship, ended 2 1/2 months ago)

 

I also am overwhelmed by the changes in my life and lifestyle. I really am remaking my life and sometimes it seems hopeless.

[light_vader]

and wonder why I haven't moved on (5 year relationship, ended 2 1/2 months ago).

Wow. That's pretty long. Probably will take some time for you to totally get over him, being realistic.

 

What's really going on? I'm lonely.

Loneliness is a state of mind.

We're never lonely really, we always have our own selves. The sooner we could understand and digest this, the sooner we could start loving ourselves and finding true happiness (another state of mind).

 

The first step towards a path of enlightenment, starts by validating ourselves as individuals fully capable of enjoying life without the help of others.

That doesn't mean in the road ahead we are not supposed to make friends or acquaintances or that we must forget about our relatives and family.

I just mean that, we have to enjoy life by ourselves first, in order to be able to truly share that "spark" with others afterwards.

 

Just think of this, how could you ever dare to say you love someone, if you never really loved yourself in the first place?

 

Have a nice week friend.

[cerridwen]

Awww, .

I know you're lonely, nonameone, but hold the line.

 

Look down at your feet.

Forget looking down the road, forget trying to guess about what's to come.

Forget thinking about changes and worrying yourself sick.

At least forget it for tonight.

 

Events are going to come anyway and don't need minding from you.

Not tonight anyway.

 

Just look down for now and know it's going to pass--this pain will pass.

Hold the line.

It's what we have to do to weather these overwhelming feelings of sadness and loneliness.

Brace yourself, look down, and know it will wash over and past you.

[nonameone]

Thank you both. I've reread your posts several times as they are so rich with thoughts. I have no doubt I'll reread them more in the future.

 

Now, I've just read an email response from him-he was responding to the "no, we can't be friends" email I sent 11 days ago. Typical cryptic message that leaves my brain spinning.

 

I need to read it as it is. He isn't saying "lets talk" or "I understand but I still want to see you". He says he understands. I need to read it for what he didn't say. He is accepting the finality of our relationship. He is NOT responding to my request for breadcrumbs- lets be friends but not see other people.

 

I do have one logistical issue I really need to communicate to him. I'll think about it for 24 hours (at least) to decide if I'll do it. Every email or text I get from him sends me on a frenzy.

 

I am so sad, lonely, angry. I've never imagined this much pain.

[cerridwen]

Thank you both. I've reread your posts several times as they are so rich with thoughts. I have no doubt I'll reread them more in the future.

 

Now, I've just read an email response from him-he was responding to the "no, we can't be friends" email I sent 11 days ago. Typical cryptic message that leaves my brain spinning.

 

I need to read it as it is. He isn't saying "lets talk" or "I understand but I still want to see you". He says he understands. I need to read it for what he didn't say. He is accepting the finality of our relationship. He is NOT responding to my request for breadcrumbs- lets be friends but not see other people.

 

I do have one logistical issue I really need to communicate to him. I'll think about it for 24 hours (at least) to decide if I'll do it. Every email or text I get from him sends me on a frenzy.

 

I am so sad, lonely, angry. I've never imagined this much pain.

 

How are you today, No?

Any way you can handle the logistical issue through a third party?