Bizarre "Other Woman"

[KellyA41]

The other woman in my husbands life is a former elementary school teacher who taught his son (who is now 13). This woman taught his son in 3rd grade - during that time my husband was in the midst of a divorce from his other wife (mother of his son). This teacher stepped in to rescue my husband (he got custody of his son).

 

Since 3rd grade this woman (who is in her early 50's) has offered to babysit and help raise his son. Mind you she is married with a husband and a son one year older than my stepson. My husband is 45.

 

My husband has relied on this "teacher" to help raise his son since age 9. She has gone overboard with her mothering role and seems obsessed with his son. I find this weird. My husband says nothing ever happened between him and the teacher and I've met her and can't see where there was ever a relationship BUT this woman constantly wants his son over at her house. Whether it's to be a companion to her son or what - she sends elaborate letters and calls my husband always inviting his son to come over.

 

She volunteers to pick up his son from school, keep him for days at a time, take him on family vacations and send him to camp with her son. My husband admits even he thinks it's weird how much this woman just LOVES his son. She sends cards and letters to them saying "To the most wonderful family I know" and she constantly gives his son gifts, etc.

 

Before we got married he'd use her to babysit. He'd go pick up his son and she'd make him stay and have dinner with her and her husband and son. He'd always eat dinner at her house, etc.

 

This woman didn't seem phased that I came into my husbands life and married him. She's kept in contact with my husband and has still offered to "mother" his son and pick him up from school, etc. I was shocked that she didn't back off knowing that we had a relationship.

 

I have told my husband how uncomfortable that woman makes me. I spoke to her once and she was nosey and started asking me alot of personal questions that pissed me off.

 

My husband enjoys the attention and keeps her on hand in case he needs her. She seems to just sit and wait for his phone calls and for her son and his son to make plans together.

 

My husband won't do anything - he says that her son and his son are friends and he wants to let them include his son in their outings, etc.

 

We've only been married a short while - I have a son too and this woman never offers to include my son in on anything. Due to this woman and the fact my husband seems to enjoy the attention of this intruding woman - I've filed for divorce (there are alot of other reasons other than the "teacher").

 

Now that this teacher knows things are not working out between us and our marriage is suffering - she's stepped in with gusto, sending letters and notes to my husband saying she's there for him, and would like to include his son in their family vacation, etc.

 

My husband has seemed to use her as a substitute mother and nanny. His son's mother lives in another city and she's active in their son's life - she doesn't care about the "teacher".

 

I find this bizarre and strange how this teacher seems obsessed with my husband and his son. My husband won't call her or contact her yet she continually contacts him and bombards him with cutesy cards and letters to "keep in touch".

 

I asked my husband how I was supposed to ever form a bond with his son when this teacher kept intruding. He tried to stop all contact with her but she kept getting her son to call, etc.

 

She's married - why can't she focus on her own family and her own son? I asked my husband if her son didn't have any other friends and they solely relied on the companionship of his son.......he said "They just love my son and consider him part of the family".

 

My husband's son is a spoiled brat and constantly gets into trouble - her son is a geeky computer type. I can't see how these two boys get along long enough to be pals.

 

This teacher seems to thrive on being needed and being a mother hen. It makes me crazy that she's never once backed off - or respected the fact I married my husband and she's no longer needed.

 

Me and my husband recently separated and first thing he did was get on the phone and call her up and tell her everything. Now she's doing backflips of joy offering to babysit or keep his son over at her house.

 

Is this sick or am I just acting jealous?

[Butterfly_Queen]

Humm?? That is odd. I'm sorry you all have separated. I'm not so sure it was the son she wanted coming over a lot, etc. I think it was your husband she was maybe wanting.

 

The fact that your husband seems to enjoy it as well is not a good sign. Hes not willling to do anything about it either? Doesn't sound like either one of them are respectful of you and your feelings, especially if he doesn't want to do anything about it. That, and the fact that she won't step back and let you be the parent to the son. I do believe she has overstepped. You have a every right to feel the way you do.

 

Maybe you could sit down with him or the both of them and hash this out.

 

Just an option I guess.