smokey bear Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Asking for help with money for the mortgage and i replied. After which i said i had repeatedly asked him not to contact me unless he wanted to reconcile and could he please take it serious this time so i could heal and move on. he replied ok Does this mean i have to go back to day 1 NC? I don't need to analise the conversation or anything i just want to know if im back to day 1 or continue from where i am? I have ordered a new phone (number etc) and im waiting on it arriving, im taking nc serious this time, the phone just didnt come in time after the last break of nc. Ive also been avoiding mutal friends and places. Link to post Share on other sites
NYOrLAGuy Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 for me, and for everybody I would hope, NC doesn't run on a timer. it's not a football game with a whistle ending play at the end. do you feel you've had a setback? it sounds like you dealt with it in the way you wanted too, and judging solely from his response as you've put it, he understands and will hopefully oblige your wish. you're not back at day 1 if you don't want to be. keep on keeping on. sounds to me like you stayed true to yourself, didn't let him steam roll you (for money, no less!) and you handled yourself well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 I have agreed to help him, it is my responsibility too but it will be done without contact. I think it has set me back because at the end of the day i replied when i should have ignored. ive asked him several times to do nc, it annoys me more than anything, because I need to go nc to feel the full effect of him not in my life so that i hit rock bottom from which i can gain acceptance and move on. Its a pain when he;s all nice too, why cant some dumpers just be mean. Anyway im going back to day 1, for me. My aim is 30 days thats it after which ill no longer care about nc etc,ill be passed it because i am getting there. This nc is to put the nail in the coffin and get MY POWER back. I call the shots in my life, not him. Link to post Share on other sites
davesterr Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) not to be rude but if u think 30 days of nc will do anything ur wrong. like previously said , there is no timer. it could be 1 day it could be 4 years. the only thing that puts u back in control is how u feel inside. nc just gives u some time on ur own. to think the minimum about ur ex. and to not wait for ur ex to contact u. in the end nc on its own will do nothing at all at healing. it takes effort , soul searching and the pursuit of happiness on ur own. i like ur confidence but i wouldn't start getting on a high horse because u feel mad at urself. i would take it slow and dont walk ahead of ur feet. you already said it urself: only contact me if u want to reconcile. this means ur still waiting on your ex to get back together. when u always wait , u will never fully heal. just like how u keep the door open for ur ex to come back in ur life , u keep the wounds open in ur heart which prevent a scar from forming. im not here to tell u that u shouldn't be confident. but just letting you know , nc on it's own does completely nothing. Edited November 30, 2011 by davesterr Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 I am angry yes, at him and me. When im in NC I dont think about him ( well maybe 30 mins a day), i laugh, enjoy life etc. When he contacts it brings me back though, its the last trigger. Im angry because i feel great and he txts and my mind is thrown back to the past. 30 days NC will be enough for me, ive had 5 months of LC (real lc, once in a blue moon) Ill never shut the door, doesnt mean i won't move on. You dont have to close that door to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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