Uncertainema Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Ok, my husband and I have been together since 2004, we met on a dating website and exchanged many a lovely email as we lived so far away, after our first year he proposed, and we moved in together, in telling a friend our romantic meeting i wanted to show her all the wonderful emails we exchanged over long distance, i logged into my fiances account to show her, unfortunately i found he'd been sleeping with another throughout our early stages of relationship (months ) and lied about it, unfortunately all this arouse weeks before our wedding was due to take place! Even though it was all there in black n white he contintinued to deny it and we argued alot until he admitted it (some of it) he continued to conceal the extent of it all until blue in the face but im persistant little might and it became obvious that he was sleeping with the two of us occasionally in the same weekends. ( i should also advise that he was still living with and sharing a bed with his then separated wife... Would like to add i was not cause of break up! She was in fact with another guy for long time but they kept everything as nomal for the ease of transition for their two at the time young children) of course I felt betrayed lied to used, most if us know the emotions! Anyway I chose to carry on and was alway straight with him that it would take a very long time to trust etc, we're now in nov 2011 and still together with three children of our own and although I'm getting better and do still love him I still have doubts! And I have relapses where I really don't believe him! He is a sweet guy and doting dad, everything you'd look for but is he capable or has he strayed again or am I being paranoid, I haven't found anything to suggest it has but he never has kept emails and texts to catch him out in, I did find one email to a work collegue telling her I'd made him spent the night on his mates sofa (untrue) he says he was trying to make her feel better about her Rocky now over marriage! It's just a niggle in my head that I can't shake!!! Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) Trust your instincts. When you say that he was sleeping with you and another woman in the early stages of dating you - had exclusivity been discussed at that point? If so, then yeah, he cheated if not, then maybe he thought that since you guys weren't exclusive and really committed to one another, you were just dating and so he wasn't cheating on you. But if that were the case, then he could have just come out and said that, but he chose to lie even when there was evidence. That should have been your first clue - and you should have at least postponed the wedding. I would have cancelled it all together...but... Anyways, you have your doubts, trust you instincts, its usually on the spot. Oh and as for trying to make the coworker feel bad about her crappy marriage - I call bull**** on that, he's probably setting the scene to tell the coworker about his "miserable sexless" marriage and try to pave the way for an affair. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but honestly, trust your gut. Try to collect more evidence, don't let on as to what you're doing, and see what you find (well, only if you really want the truth). Edited November 30, 2011 by TigerCub Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts