KenDoerr Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 I have been checking my significant other's email for the past 3 weeks because of suspicion that she has been with someone else (I understand, total invasion of privacy). I found out today that she cheated on me (nothing too serious) and feels guilty. She has no plans of telling me. What should I do? How would you feel if someone was snooping around your email? What would you do if your sig other was hiding something serious from you and you found out a way that you shouldn't have? Need some help! edit: Most importantly, What should I do the next time she says that she is going to hang out with this guy who has been her friend up until this point? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Hello, I think you should deal with this issue immediately and let her know that you know about the cheating. You can apologize for the snooping. The fact is that the longer you allow this to continue, the worse this will become. Confront the problem now that has allowed her to lie and cheat on, or it will only get worse in the future. Confront the issue as soon as possible. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
sportsloving Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 What made you decide to start checking her emails? You said that she cheated on you but nothing too serious. If it isn't serious, then why are you checking her email or wanting to say something if she wants to hang out with the guy (assuming it is the one she used to cheat on you)? Obviously the trust in the relationship is damaged, otherwise you wouldn't be looking for things. I think you should discuss all of this with her, apologize for snooping, tell her what you found, and then both decide if this relationship is something you both want to invest time in to get back on track. Best of luck to you~ Link to post Share on other sites
Author KenDoerr Posted May 27, 2004 Author Share Posted May 27, 2004 Thanks for your responses, I saw a shady entry in her datebook and questioned her about it. She acted very weird so I thought something was up. I don't know what she would say if she found out I checked her email. This was the first thing she has ever done to make me question her trust. She kissed this guy. Although her emails said she felt very awkward and wasn't sure how she is going to hang out with this guy again, she still kissed him. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Hello, Let me ask you this: if the roles were reversed and your girlfriend found out that you had kissed another girl do you think she would be quiet about it and let it go? I doubt it. If you are her boyfriend then you better deal with this now before it becomes worst in the future. She crossed the line. Keeping quiet about it is the worst thing you can do. Deal with the issue why she felt she needed to kiss another guy. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Just confess bro. You'll feel better when you tell her the truth about what you did. Then deal with the consequences like an adult. If she dumps you, it sucks, but at least you were on the up-and-up with her. Do you feel bad about snooping? I think you should - not looking to judge you, but I've done the exact same thing as you before and I felt like crap until I spilled my guts about what I had done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KenDoerr Posted May 28, 2004 Author Share Posted May 28, 2004 Yes, I do feel very bad about doing it. However, I do not really want to confess, as I just figure we are both wrong and there is no need for a big fight. I'm worried that that could spell the end of our relationship. I will work on communication with her, and try and get to the root of the problem. We are in a long distance relationship now, so that is one reason for all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
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