Just Need Time Text, WTF?

[jordjones]

It's now been about 5 months since she broke things off with me. Went NC for 2 1/2 months, then low contact for about the past 7 weeks (haven't seen each other a single time). She backed out of a Thanksgiving 'drink' we had scheduled, and we had a heated phone conversation where she essentially said that she needed more time before she saw me. I wanted to see her badly, because I've gained 20 lbs. of muscle, have been accepted to multiple MBA programs, and am doing well.

 

Anyways, after this episode, I say screw it, and send her a final text message:

"I respect your wish to not see me and just move on; I won't initiate anymore. I was frustrated on thanksgiving because I've had exciting things in my life I've wanted to share...we would have a good time. Just know that when I think of you, good memories abound. I ask when you think of me, please try to think of me in a positive light..."

 

She responds later that day:

"Hey...Thanks for the message. It was really nice, and I will definitely think of you in a positive light. I just need time because life over the past 6 months has been crazy. I definitely don't have intentions to not ever speak to or see you. Like I said, I just need time, especially with my sister having a baby. Just need time. Thank you for being kind and sincere about it..."

 

I don't want to read into it, but what the hell is this Just need time crap? She says it 3 times in a text. It just pisses me off.

[Chi townD]

She says it 3 times in a text. It just pisses me off.

 

This is why we stay NC! Now you're in a bad mood for no reason. Do you think she's all mad and pissed right now?

[patience82]

you too needs some time ....... TIME TO MOVE ON

[Rorschach64]

Stringing you along I would venture man. I don't know your story to be honest but I would also venture you are plan B in this...but that's just paranoia speaking.

[swann]

The old "Just need time" line. I'm sorry to be so frank, but it usually means that she's not interested anymore. Give her what she wants, maybe she'll realize that she miss you. But don't have too many expectations, focus on you and your future.

[radiodarcy]

it sounds like she's politely trying to tell you that she's done. but really what she's really doing is stringing you along with lines that could be plausible (i,e, give me some time and we'll see) but really aren't.

 

maybe she thinks she's doing you a favor by being nice. but as the saying goes - - it's cruel to be kind.

 

i know it's easier said than done - - but try not to read into it. just stick to NC. the more you reach out the more she's going to respond with these ambiguous answers.

[Lemon Drop]

Jord,

 

As a person who broke up with someone and said almost the same thing here is my translation. He was a wonderful person, a really good man who loved me and never did anything wrong. I struggled because he was so good to me, but I just didn't feel the same way about him. Whatever "chemistry" is, I didn't have it for him, and if we were going to be "friends" and not lovers or brother and sister, it would have been a no brainer.

 

When she says this, she is probably in some stage of a relationship with someone else.. but the new guy is.. well, new. If he shows any signs of not being a good partner for her, she may then miss your good qualities and want to reprise your relationship, but she feels that seeing you may lead you on when she is going down this new road with him.

 

You are her backup plan, so go forth, cut the strings and have fun in your new life with your new muscle. Congratulations on that, by the way!

[jordjones]

Thanks for the replies everybody. I really appreciate them. It's been a difficult road. At the very least, this episode has given me the ammunition in my mind to say "**** her." It's sometimes hard to move on, unless you have that anger/hate. I have it now, and will not contact her again. Thanks again.

[YouNeverKnow86]

Jord,

 

As a person who broke up with someone and said almost the same thing here is my translation. He was a wonderful person, a really good man who loved me and never did anything wrong. I struggled because he was so good to me, but I just didn't feel the same way about him. Whatever "chemistry" is, I didn't have it for him, and if we were going to be "friends" and not lovers or brother and sister, it would have been a no brainer.

 

When she says this, she is probably in some stage of a relationship with someone else.. but the new guy is.. well, new. If he shows any signs of not being a good partner for her, she may then miss your good qualities and want to reprise your relationship, but she feels that seeing you may lead you on when she is going down this new road with him.

 

You are her backup plan, so go forth, cut the strings and have fun in your new life with your new muscle. Congratulations on that, by the way!

 

Does it always have to be that your ex is with another person? I got the same line from my ex about time four months ago but she is still single (well it says single on facebook). Can it be that they just lost interest and know that seeing you isn't the right thing?

[jordjones]

I don't think she is with anybody else - as her facebook page indicates she is single - but who knows. It does seem that she lost interest, and what has been difficult in my case is that she lost interest while we were LDR. I'm now back in the area, and she won't see me. It's difficult for me to believe that this situation would be the same if I hadn't been away, and it's frustrating that she won't give me a chance to even see her now that I'm back. This has been a mind ****, especially since her feelings for me were always more intense.

 

All that BS aside, I'm pumped about NC. This is one of those situations, where I know for a fact years from now, she will regret this ****. I can't wait till I'm over her and I get that call .