Top 5 Things "Jerks" Do To Get Women

[verhrzn]

Please, please, PLEASE, guys who are unsuccessful with women, read this article. It was NOT written by a woman, but by a guy, and reading through it I agreed with everything he said.

 

http://www.justaguything.com/the-top-5-things-jerks-do-to-get-women

 

"It's the age old question every "nice guy" ends up asking himself at one time or another...

"I'm a good guy, so why is it all the jerks get the women and I'm stuck being alone?"

 

Sometimes, it's easy to believe that Jerks have some type of magical power that allows them to sucker women into liking them and somehow have them hang around while they treat them like dirt. This happens SO MUCH, that some guys believe that they actually have to BECOME Jerks to get women attracted to them. But make no mistake about it - nobody likes a jerk. Not even the women who date them! So if that's the case, why is it obvious that they get so many girls to go for them? Well, remember that Jerks tend to go through lots of women quickly. Most girls will only put up with Jerk behavior for so long before they get sick of it. And those who stick around have such low self esteem as it is, that they've formed some type of strange attachment to the emotional abuse Jerks doll out. That said, there are a number of things Jerks do to attract women that make them effective seducers and pick up artists. And these are things that "nice guys" can do, and get the same results. Here are the top 5 things Jerks do to get women, and how you can do them too - WITHOUT having to become a prick...

 

Jerks are self-centered

One of the big things a Jerk has going for him is that he really doesn't care about other people. In fact, his focus is almost entirely on his own pleasures, thoughts, and feelings. Because of this, when he sees something he wants, he goes after it! When your average "nice guy" sees a hot girl, he might be intimidated. He wants her to like him. He wants approval from her. In short - he cares about what she thinks! But in addition to that, most guys care about what other's think too! They worry about a girl rejecting them in front of other people, and what those people will think when they see it happen. Jerks do not have this problem. They couldn't care less about what other people are thinking. The Jerk is only focused on getting what he wants. When you allow yourself to focus on your goals, and set aside fears of judgment from others, this gives you a great deal of focus, and as we all know, focus is KEY to achieving what we desire.

 

Jerks aren't afraid to approach women

The single, most important step in getting a woman is walking up to her and talking to her. So many guys just DON'T DO THIS. They are too shy, or too intimidated by the girl to do so. Instead, they hang back and just stare at her like a big dummy, wishing he could find the balls to meet her. Jerks don't hesitate to approach a girl. They're not worried about whether or not she's going to like them, because THEY DON'T CARE. They're thinking about how hot it's going to be to make out with her. They're thinking about how much fun it will be to get her in bed. The LAST thing on their mind is "fear of rejection." To a Jerk, if a girl rejects him, there's something wrong with HER, not him. Nice guys will say "Oh, I'm too ugly, she doesn't like me." Jerks will say "That bitch is a total lesbian." Just the act of being able to approach a girl and start talking to her puts the Jerk at an advantage, because he's interacting with the girl, and the "nice guy" isn't. To the girl, the nice guy doesn't exist! That's why women typically have such low opinions of men, because it's always the Jerks who are approaching the women while the shy guys sit off in the corner! Jerks realize it's not the woman's job to approach the guy. If you want something, you have to go after it. So if the Nice Guys were to start walking up and talking to women, they might be surprised to find most women WELCOME their company and really want to meet a good fella to treat them right!

 

Jerks don't censor themselves

Part of the reason Jerks come off as fun, interesting, or exciting is because they aren't worried about offending anybody. They will talk about whatever, joke about whatever, and even broach "sensitive" topics of conversation without a blink of an eye. Too many "nice guys" hold back when they talk to a girl they like. They NEVER bring up sex. They don't even joke about it. Heck, they don't even display any sign they even LIKE the girl. Because of this, the Nice Guys become the Boring Guys. The Jerk will come along, make an off-color joke, tell the girl a racy story, and even MAKE FUN of the girl! He could care less if he offends somebody. To the Jerk, he's just doing what comes naturally to him. Attitude like this is like a breath of fresh air to many women, because they mistake it as "confidence." But the more they are around the Jerk, the more they realize it isn't confidence at all - its just narcissism, and a complete lack of caring about others. A nice guy would do well to "loosen up" when first meeting a girl and not try and please her so much, just like the Jerk does. But in the long term, it's okay to care about what a girl thinks and be on your best behavior. But do this ONLY after you've created an attraction with her.

 

Jerks are honest about what they want.

When a Jerk approaches a woman, he makes no bones about what he's after. He flirts with her, lusts after her, and tries to convince her to come home and have sex with him. The girl knows RIGHT AWAY what the Jerk wants, and after he's made it clear, it is up to her to decide if she wants to give it to him. If not, the Jerk moves on and finds another girl. If so, then the Jerk takes her by the hand and drags her off. This type of honesty is actually appreciated by women. In contrast, you have the nice guys who try and fly under the radar by being an asexual "friend." He hangs out, listens to the girl's problems, tries to help her when she needs it, and then all of a sudden, he springs the fact on her that he's deeply in love! And the girl FREAKS OUT. The reason for this is that the "nice guy," in trying to not get rejected quickly by misrepresenting his intentions, has basically built a relationship with the girl based on LIES. And because of that, the girl has already pegged him as a "friend." So when the guy wants to be ?more than friends,? the girl feels betrayed, because she?s become accustomed to thinking of him in a certain way, and now he?s demanding she look at him differently. (Not surprisingly, shortly after this happens, most girls even stop being ?friends? with the guy!) Nice guys should make their intentions clear from the start. Flirt with a girl. Let her know you like her and want to date her! If she rejects you, move on until you find a girl who likes what you have to offer. That's what the Jerks do, and it works out great for them!

 

Jerks safeguard their self esteem

All too often, getting rejected from one girl will send a "nice guy" down a spiral of depression. His self esteem will hit rock bottom, and he'll get depressed and withdraw for the rest of the night. Jerks don't suffer from this problem. They safeguard their self-esteem viciously, and don't allow rejection to get them down. This is why Jerks are Jerks! Because they will completely IGNORE rejection, and even go so far as to put down and ridicule other people to make themselves feel more important than they are. This constant guarding of their self esteem allows them to keep pursuing their goals by not allowing them to fall into a funk of depression. And no matter how you cut it - a guy with high self esteem is always way more attractive to women than a depressed loser. For the average nice guy, it's important not to take rejection personally. If a girl isn't into you, it doesn't mean you're not attractive, or cool, or interesting - it just means that girl isn't right for you! So you keep looking for one that is, and you don't stop until you find her. Rejection can be a hard thing for anyone to deal with.

But remember to keep a positive outlook. Instead of seeing it as "losing a girl," think of it like "I just eliminated a girl who'd have wasted my time if I pursued her." You don't need to ridicule or bad mouth others to feel good about yourself like Jerks do, but you should protect your self esteem as viciously as possible, because that will keep you going.

 

Understand - picking up women is a numbers game. The more women you meet, the more likely it is you'll get one! Jerks succeed due to their tenacity and ability to play the numbers. Nice guys go for one or two women a night while Jerks hit up 20-30. And it's these five traits that allow them to do that! But if you really want to learn the secrets of building your confidence, safeguarding your self esteem, and approaching women without getting rejected, you should head on over to my website and sign up for my free newsletter. Every day, I send out advice and tips on how to be more confident and how to approach more women. So click here to sign up for my free approaching women course. And remember - you don't have to be a Jerk to attract women! You just have to be the type of guy who isn't afraid to go after what he wants.

[Feelsgoodman]

Please, please, PLEASE, guys who are unsuccessful with women, read this article. It was NOT written by a woman, but by a guy, and reading through it I agreed with everything he said.

 

http://www.justaguything.com/the-top-5-things-jerks-do-to-get-women

You've got to be careful posting these types of articles. Otherwise, Taramere and the rest of the "clique" will swoop in and accuse you of being a woman-hating promoter of PUA/MRM ideology.

[Oxy Moronovich]

The main thing most dudes need to do is start approaching multiple women. That's the smartest part of the whole article.

 

One thing this article failed to mention is to be patient with women. So many dudes, jerks and nice guys, are quick to get discouraged when a woman doesn't show clear signs she's interested. Earlier this month, just within a few days of each other, I got the number of three different women I've known who I always thought were standoffish. I thought all three women thought I was a creep. Now I've found out they were just so shy they appeared rude and standoffish.

 

I recently read a thread on loveshack where several female posters were saying they clam up and become super-shy toward guys they like. Women have begun to make a bit more sense now.

 

So I wanna say thanks to those loveshack ladies who cleared up that bit of info about women.

[carhill]

 

"One of the big things a Jerk has going for him is that he really doesn't care about other people. In fact, his focus is almost entirely on his own pleasures, thoughts, and feelings"

 

In my neck of the woods, this perspective will end one up in a standpipe and deceased.

 

"The single, most important step in getting a woman is walking up to her and talking to her. So many guys just DON'T DO THIS. They are too shy, or too intimidated by the girl to do so. Instead, they hang back and just stare at her like a big dummy, wishing he could find the balls to meet her. Jerks don't hesitate to approach a girl."

 

This is very reasonable. We're all human. Talking to another human is an elementary social skill which I hope everyone has or is willing to learn.

 

"When a Jerk approaches a woman, he makes no bones about what he's after. He flirts with her, lusts after her, and tries to convince her to come home and have sex with him. The girl knows RIGHT AWAY what the Jerk wants, and after he's made it clear, it is up to her to decide if she wants to give it to him"

 

Honesty about one's intentions and interest is healthy. However, the generality presumes that every man's psychology is one of immediately dragging the female off to a cave and eat her, and such is not the case. Acting in a way contrary to one's personality and boundaries is unhealthy, even if it results in cave food. If the clear and immediate lust is there, definitely act upon it in a respectful manner.

 

"All too often, getting rejected from one girl will send a "nice guy" down a spiral of depression. His self esteem will hit rock bottom, and he'll get depressed and withdraw for the rest of the night. Jerks don't suffer from this problem. They safeguard their self-esteem viciously, and don't allow rejection to get them down. This is why Jerks are Jerks! Because they will completely IGNORE rejection, and even go so far as to put down and ridicule other people to make themselves feel more important than they are."

 

Not taking rejection personally is healthy. Putting down and ridiculing other people to prop oneself up is unhealthy.

"Understand - picking up women is a numbers game. The more women you meet, the more likely it is you'll get one! Jerks succeed due to their tenacity and ability to play the numbers. Nice guys go for one or two women a night while Jerks hit up 20-30."

 

In some circumstances, it can be a numbers game. In others, it's more about being selective in whom one approaches, remaining true to one's attraction style.

 

 

Thanks for sharing the article and, editorially, I'm pretty comfortable with my own mix of the five, and I'm still alive

[AD1980]

 

 

Jerks aren't afraid to approach women

. So if the Nice Guys were to start walking up and talking to women, they might be surprised to find most women WELCOME their company and really want to meet a good fella to treat them right!

 

 

I dont buy that i havent met many women happy to have me approach,maybe if youre good looking a cold approach from a unattratcive guy is not met well

[somethingsimple]

I agree with some of the points the author is saying, however I think he puts a lot of negative spin to it.

 

1. Jerks are self-centered

When I'm around women or approach women, I don't care what they think. I treat them all the same somewhere below friends and above strangers. If that makes me a jerk so be it. While I treat them with respect, I certainly won't care what she thinks or wants.

 

2. Jerks aren't afraid to approach women

The way I think of it, when I approach women I make their day. I value myself highly and if the woman isn't feeling me, its their loss. Not cause they're "a total lesbian", but I know who am I and what I can offer.

 

3. Jerks don't censor themselves

This comes down to being comfortable with yourself, while I don't blurt out disrespectful remarks. I don't change my personality or vocabulary just because I am in the presence of an attractive woman.

 

4. Jerks are honest with what they want

"Know what you want, and know how to ask for it"

I dislike people who play off as your friend, but would jump at any opportunity to get with you. Its dishonest, and I for one would rather have my intent out in the open in the first place.

 

5. Jerks safeguard their self-esteem

It goes back to the confidence thing. If I get rejected, its cool I didn't know you anyways.

 

The biggest problem I see with men is that they meet an attractive girl with a pretty good personality and all of a sudden they're in love and want a relationship.

 

I really feel like people should take a step back get to know that person and feelings should evolve with time and emotional investment.

[Necromancer]

I dont buy that i havent met many women happy to have me approach,maybe if youre good looking a cold approach from a unattratcive guy is not met well

 

I have approached a random women few times at streets,stores and even asked girl out at work. special girls.

 

it´s not well seen to approach random girls here where i live,most girls are closed and only talk to random strangers when they are drunk...down town.

 

It doesn´t work often for me,but really we don´t have anything to lose.

 

i am not ugly and far from it and i know it,i have heard from girls that i am acually getting handsome...

 

Getting rejected is like getting punched in the face,its hurts first but after few times it dosen´t hurt.

[Untouchable_Fire]

The bottom line of this is BE CONFIDENT.

 

When I was in highschool I dated this girl that was just flawless looking. I was kinda popular and I'm good looking but not one of those guys that can make a woman swoon with a look. That girl was so bloody insecure. I could not believe how she honestly thought she was ugly. She acted like hot shi* though.

 

The point is that however insecure you may feel about yourself... most women are JUST as insecure. Most just learn to act confident. If you act even more confident than her.... you are literally halfway there.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Also... it seems to me that you guys who are truly struggling with women... also struggle with male friends. You MUST learn to hold a conversation FIRST.

 

Make sense?

[Necromancer]

I agree with some of the points the author is saying, however I think he puts a lot of negative spin to it.

 

1. Jerks are self-centered

When I'm around women or approach women, I don't care what they think. I treat them all the same somewhere below friends and above strangers. If that makes me a jerk so be it. While I treat them with respect, I certainly won't care what she thinks or wants.

 

2. Jerks aren't afraid to approach women

The way I think of it, when I approach women I make their day. I value myself highly and if the woman isn't feeling me, its their loss. Not cause they're "a total lesbian", but I know who am I and what I can offer.

 

3. Jerks don't censor themselves

This comes down to being comfortable with yourself, while I don't blurt out disrespectful remarks. I don't change my personality or vocabulary just because I am in the presence of an attractive woman.

 

4. Jerks are honest with what they want

"Know what you want, and know how to ask for it"

I dislike people who play off as your friend, but would jump at any opportunity to get with you. Its dishonest, and I for one would rather have my intent out in the open in the first place.

 

5. Jerks safeguard their self-esteem

It goes back to the confidence thing. If I get rejected, its cool I didn't know you anyways.

 

The biggest problem I see with men is that they meet an attractive girl with a pretty good personality and all of a sudden they're in love and want a relationship.

 

I really feel like people should take a step back get to know that person and feelings should evolve with time and emotional investment.

 

Dude,that´s how a man should think! THIS!!

 

I see to many guys at my age 17....fallow hot girls like puppys,trying to be their friends to get in their pants.

 

Really some guy´s that say they are nice guy´s will spend year....even years of false friend ship just to get in her pants. you ain´t beeing her friend your just trying to have sex with her but don´t have the self confidence to ask her out.

 

I don´t want to be nice guy Neither the jerk i want to be the GOOD guy.

 

Sorry for bad english :S hehe

[MaxNoob]

Another article about confidence. Why is that so attractive?

Confidence - belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities

 

As opposed to having an accurate, realistic understanding of oneself and one's powers and abilities. Doesn't that just mean you're uncalibrated if you're confident?

 

Why would you prefer someone who overestimates their abilities?

Wouldn't you rather have someone who actually does have superior abilities, but is modest about them?

 

Or is it not really confidence about yourself that's appealing, but rather having courage and optimism about the future.

 

When I'm trying to save someone who's badly injured or dying, I'm not just coldly following the procedure; I also need to show optimism and reassure the patient; I need to make them believe they can survive. This helps to reduce their anxiety, which reduces oxygen consumption, which helps to treat circulatory shock -always one of my main concerns. So in this case being optimistic, rather than realistic, does have a positive effect on the outcome. Maybe in other areas of life as well.

 

It's optimism that is appealing; it's reassuring and calming to be with someone who does not give in to weakness and pessimism.

[somedude81]

1. Jerks don't censor themselves Part of the reason Jerks come off as fun, interesting, or exciting is because they aren't worried about offending anybody. They will talk about whatever, joke about whatever, and even broach "sensitive" topics of conversation without a blink of an eye.
   Too many "nice guys" hold back when they talk to a girl they like. They NEVER bring up sex. They don't even joke about it. Heck, they don't even display any sign they even LIKE the girl.
   Because of this, the Nice Guys become the Boring Guys.
   The Jerk will come along, make an off-color joke, tell the girl a racy story, and even MAKE FUN of the girl!
   He could care less if he offends somebody. To the Jerk, he's just doing what comes naturally to him. Attitude like this is like a breath of fresh air to many women, because they mistake it as "confidence."
   But the more they are around the Jerk, the more they realize it isn't confidence at all - its just narcissism, and a complete lack of caring about others.
   A nice guy would do well to "loosen up" when first meeting a girl and not try and please her so much, just like the Jerk does. But in the long term, it's okay to care about what a girl thinks and be on your best behavior. But do this ONLY after you've created an attraction with her.
   

That is a huge problem I have. I don't make off-color jokes or bring up sex. Why? Because it's never on my mind. I don't have a clue what to say. So I talk about safe stuff, that while interesting, never gets a woman thinking about me as a man.

 

1. Jerks are honest about what they want. When a Jerk approaches a woman, he makes no bones about what he's after. He flirts with her, lusts after her, and tries to convince her to come home and have sex with him.
   The girl knows RIGHT AWAY what the Jerk wants, and after he's made it clear, it is up to her to decide if she wants to give it to him.
   If not, the Jerk moves on and finds another girl. If so, then the Jerk takes her by the hand and drags her off.
   This type of honesty is actually appreciated by women. In contrast, you have the nice guys who try and fly under the radar by being an asexual "friend." He hangs out, listens to the girl's problems, tries to help her when she needs it, and then all of a sudden, he springs the fact on her that he's deeply in love!
   And the girl FREAKS OUT.
   The reason for this is that the "nice guy," in trying to not get rejected quickly by misrepresenting his intentions, has basically built a relationship with the girl based on LIES.
   And because of that, the girl has already pegged him as a "friend."
   So when the guy wants to be ?more than friends,? the girl feels betrayed, because she?s become accustomed to thinking of him in a certain way, and now he?s demanding she look at him differently.
   (Not surprisingly, shortly after this happens, most girls even stop being ?friends? with the guy!)
   Nice guys should make their intentions clear from the start. Flirt with a girl. Let her know you like her and want to date her! If she rejects you, move on until you find a girl who likes what you have to offer.
   That's what the Jerks do, and it works out great for them!
   

The nice guy story suits me perfectly. I've freaked out too many girls by going under the radar. The problem is that it just happens naturally for me. I don't come on strong right from the get-go. I don't have the "must get laid" personality.

 

Also, I've been burned by so many women and have had no success, that it seems retarded to let a girl know that I'm into her. My options basically are, let her know I want her and she rejects me right away or I can be more friendly and get to spend more time with her, but on a platonic only level. Obviously, both options suck.

All too often, getting rejected from one girl will send a "nice guy" down a spiral of depression. His self esteem will hit rock bottom, and he'll get depressed and withdraw for the rest of the night.

How the hell do I not do this? I'm sick and tired of being absolutely crushed when a girl I like rejects me.

The biggest problem I see with men is that they meet an attractive girl with a pretty good personality and all of a sudden they're in love and want a relationship.

Happens to me all the damn time.

 

I get female attention so rarely that it's basically gold to me. When a girl that I feel I connect with, lets me spend time with her, I very quickly fall for her.

 

It's happened to me many times before and it's going to happen again, and again unless I figure out how to stop it.

[jobaba]

Basically 1700 words can be summed up in one sentence, "If a man learns to be bold, assertive, and confident and plays the numbers game without taking rejection too harshly, he's gonna get some."

 

Which I agree with somewhat, and which I'm totally tailoring my game towards.

 

However, the article doesn't take into account the variable nature of human relations. Not all interactions between members of the opposite sex take place in a bar or nightclub. The women that I've been friendzoned by which have hurt the most, we started off as friends, and I really wasn't attracted, at least strongly at first. One of them I really didn't even want to be around at all at first. But my attraction grew on them. And lo and behold, when I revealed my intentions, friendship. Believe me, I never "misrepresented [my] intentions".

 

What this article is going to do is create a bunch of men who who will hit on a woman at the first sign of attraction without getting to know any part of her. The less you have invested, the less the rejection hurts. Men who hit on anything that moves, have no female friends, and date multiple women at the same time.

 

P.S. I knew a guy I used to comb the bars with a bit. He was a short, not great looking guy who was a little pudgy and had a weird foreign accent. This guy had balls of STEEL. He'd go up to a hot blonde girl 5 inches taller with heels and just be like, "Hey, What up?" And keep talking with extreme confidence. He did HORRIBLE. He got rejected so often it made ME FEEL BAD.

 

So it isn't all about confidence. There's so many factors at play. But I do recommend some of the guys at least try some of the PUA stuff related to confidence and assertiveness. Does work to a degree.

[jobaba]

How the hell do I not do this? I'm sick and tired of being absolutely crushed when a girl I like rejects me.

 

Don't let yourself get invested into a girl you haven't kissed yet. Approach early and the rejection won't sting much. If you think you have a shot with a woman and you're next to her, try and kiss her. If you're in public, outside smoking a cigarette, in a hallway at a party, whatever, just do it. Who cares?

 

I've been pretty conscious not to fall into the friendzone trap these past several years and it's worked pretty well. Until I ended up falling for a co-worker this past year. F@cking charming b@tch. That messed me up pretty bad, but I used that rejection to ask out other women and I hit with one of them. Which brings me to my next point ... always take a painful rejection and use it to go hit on and ask out other women. There's no lower your emotions and confidence can go anyway. Probably the most useful piece of advice I have to offer.

[somedude81]

P.S. I knew a guy I used to comb the bars with a bit. He was a short, not great looking guy who was a little pudgy and had a weird foreign accent. This guy had balls of STEEL. He'd go up to a hot blonde girl 5 inches taller with heels and just be like, "Hey, What up?" And keep talking with extreme confidence. He did HORRIBLE. He got rejected so often it made ME FEEL BAD.

LOL!

 

I was totally expecting a different end to the story.

 

It's east to start believing the nonsense that confidence is all it takes. Real world says no.

[jobaba]

LOL!

 

I was totally expecting a different end to the story.

 

It's east to start believing the nonsense that confidence is all it takes. Real world says no.

 

Dude.

 

PUA sites are in it to make $, so they want to make you believe you can walk down the Sunset Blvd clubs and pull 9s and 10s with their methods if you are short, fat, bald, and ugly. Ehhh...no.

 

My friend's problem was that he was attacking 'hot clubs' and he just wasn't too great looking. His accent was bad too and he was loud. If he had used the same confidence and courage in a niche where he fit in, he'd have done OK I think. He's been married for years now. Pretty much to the first one that would date him and she was not a very cool gal. Kinda sad, he was a good guy.

 

Get in where you fit in and strike often and early. My new motto.

Edited December 1, 2011 by jobaba

[Woggle]

The one I agree with was what caring what people think. When you are simply yourself and couldn't care less about impressing women or anybody else for that matter people respect you and respect for women equals attraction.

 

Stop giving a damn about impressing them.

[MaxNoob]

That is a huge problem I have. I don't make off-color jokes or bring up sex. Why? Because it's never on my mind. I don't have a clue what to say. So I talk about safe stuff, that while interesting, never gets a woman thinking about me as a man.

 

From the movie Midnight in Paris:

Ernest Hemingway: No subject is terrible if the story is true, if the prose is clean and honest, and if it affirms courage and grace under pressure.

[dispatch3d]

this article has convinced me to be a single non-"jerk". Eff being narcissist.

[Trimmer]

I have approached a random women few times at streets,stores and even asked girl out at work. special girls.

 

it´s not well seen to approach random girls here where i live,most girls are closed and only talk to random strangers when they are drunk...down town.

 

It doesn´t work often for me,but really we don´t have anything to lose.

... but it doesn't have to work "often." The whole point of playing the numbers game specifically is that it "doesn't work often." So by increasing your exposure (more approaches) and steeling yourself to avoid feelings of rejection (so you don't have anything to lose), you will hit it "once in a while." And in a numbers game, that is considered to be success.

 

Now, if it just flat out NEVER works, then it's obviously a waste of time. But working sometimes - even if not often - is exactly the point behind "playing the numbers."

[Els]

Why would a woman want a self-centered guy? Having the confidence to go after the woman you want isn't the same as being self-centered.

[counterman]

There is a lot of talk about confidence, but I think people are mistaking what real confidence is (or what I think it is). IMO, if you have confidence, you wouldn't care less if it takes you 100 rejections (or more) to finally get a date. Confidence is not trying many approaches appearing confident and then being bitter that being "confident" didn't work when you are rejected -- if you're in this state of mind, you're doomed to fail, because you're putting to much importance on each approach and if you fail, it adds to your resentment and bitterness. Basically, you know you're there when each rejection has no effect whatsoever on your next approach; you stop caring. That in itself will make you successful. Now success doesn't mean you pick up girls with a click of a finger, success means you do get dates (no matter how many pitfalls you take) and it also means you're okay with not getting dates at times. Confidence means you can walk away from rejection without being hurt.

 

I was a nice guy... that did get me a relationship but it wasn't a pleasant one. My ex-girlfriend left me for someone more like a jerk. In fact, he was a jerk to me for several years. Over the last few years, I've worked on becoming more assertive and really developing my interests and knowledge. I agree with some the article to a certain extent. I particularly agree with being honest about your intentions and what you want.

[jobaba]

There is a lot of talk about confidence, but I think people are mistaking what real confidence is (or what I think it is). IMO, if you have confidence, you wouldn't care less if it takes you 100 rejections (or more) to finally get a date. Confidence is not trying many approaches appearing confident and then being bitter that being "confident" didn't work when you are rejected -- if you're in this state of mind, you're doomed to fail, because you're putting to much importance on each approach and if you fail, it adds to your resentment and bitterness. Basically, you know you're there when each rejection has no effect whatsoever on your next approach; you stop caring. That in itself will make you successful. Now success doesn't mean you pick up girls with a click of a finger, success means you do get dates (no matter how many pitfalls you take) and it also means you're okay with not getting dates at times. Confidence means you can walk away from rejection without being hurt.

 

That's not confidence. That's more like a brazen type of suicidal apathy.

 

If you approach 101 women and get one date and 100 rejections, how is your confidence going to be high?

 

Confidence comes partially from within and partially from success. But I don't care how self inflated your confidence is, 100 rejections will kill that quick.

 

Read my thread on men's rejection rate, and it'll tell you a little more about your theory.

[Oxy Moronovich]

I agree with some of the points the author is saying, however I think he puts a lot of negative spin to it.

 

1. Jerks are self-centered

When I'm around women or approach women, I don't care what they think. I treat them all the same somewhere below friends and above strangers. If that makes me a jerk so be it. While I treat them with respect, I certainly won't care what she thinks or wants.

 

2. Jerks aren't afraid to approach women

The way I think of it, when I approach women I make their day. I value myself highly and if the woman isn't feeling me, its their loss. Not cause they're "a total lesbian", but I know who am I and what I can offer.

 

3. Jerks don't censor themselves

This comes down to being comfortable with yourself, while I don't blurt out disrespectful remarks. I don't change my personality or vocabulary just because I am in the presence of an attractive woman.

 

4. Jerks are honest with what they want

"Know what you want, and know how to ask for it"

I dislike people who play off as your friend, but would jump at any opportunity to get with you. Its dishonest, and I for one would rather have my intent out in the open in the first place.

 

5. Jerks safeguard their self-esteem

It goes back to the confidence thing. If I get rejected, its cool I didn't know you anyways.

 

The biggest problem I see with men is that they meet an attractive girl with a pretty good personality and all of a sudden they're in love and want a relationship.

 

I really feel like people should take a step back get to know that person and feelings should evolve with time and emotional investment.

This is so true. I didn't notice it until you pointed it out. This dude does come off as somewhat of a wuss by using excuses like, "That's okay, I didn't know you anyways." Sounds like you needs that as a coping mechanism to save his bruised ego.

[AD1980]

That's not confidence. That's more like a brazen type of suicidal apathy.

 

If you approach 101 women and get one date and 100 rejections, how is your confidence going to be high?

 

Confidence comes partially from within and partially from success. But I don't care how self inflated your confidence is, 100 rejections will kill that quick.

 

Read my thread on men's rejection rate, and it'll tell you a little more about your theory.

 

Yeah i agree its one thign to not take any sigle rejection that personally but i dont see how knowing 99% of women out there arent attracted to you can be good for your confidence at all