sydneygirl Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Men. One year of this rollercoaster ride with MM. He calls my phone this morning, as he usually does, (as we see each other everyday. He works in my area). He goes to probably leave a voicemail when i dont pick up, as Im just leaving my workplace. Forgets to hang up his voicemail, or presses the button unintentionally, and I hear the SOAB stopping a female in his car and asking her her where she lives and for her phone number. I call him after listening to it 5 times. Acts like he doesnt know what im talking about until i tell him i have evidence on my voicemail. He clams up. I tell him not to ever call me again or come by the house, and ive blocked is number. I am soooo angry. He knows how i feel about men from the beginning, and that i have trust issues with them. I have spoken about it to him countless times. This is my payment for loving him. . We get along well..he gets all the sex he needs, and we have spoken about him moving in with me by the end of the year, even though i was VERY sceptical of the outcome. Many things that have happend over this past year are becoming more transparent the more I reflect on things today. Selfish liar. My friends say to just use him for money, etc., but that isnt the reason i was with him. I loved him. Or thought i did. He's a 60 year old guy, still picking up women. What a joke. People always said i shouldnt be with him anyway, because of the age difference. I'm 40, but all that i dont care about. I didnt see age. He was always caring towards me..always there when i needed him. But all that, i now see as beneficial realise now wasfor his own selfish gains, as he received more from me. I cant wait for him to receive his karma. The same way I have just received mine, for dating a MM. I thank God it happened today. The New Year is nigh, and offeres me a fresh start in life. By Christmas, Ill be over him, as im strong like that. Now my distrust in men has quadrupled. Im fed up with all the cheating and deceit. I ignored other guys for him. And its ok saying not to put all your eggs in one basket, regarding dating a MM, but i had no interest in anyone else whilst with him, or any other man I date. I dont have the time or interest in dating others when in love. Im just venting, as i am furious right now. Maybe i should have expected this..after all, he is a cheater. But he was so convincing, as they are. So sincere. But apparently not. One thing Im glad for though, is that im rid of bad rubbish. No more rollercoaster ride. No more secret relationship. I feel so free right now, and feel as though a lot of stress and uncertainties have been instantly removed from my life. No more thinking about him and his whereabouts, whether he's cheating on me, etc., I will miss his friendship, and it will leave a small void in my life. But only for a little while, as I always pick myself up and get on with life rather quickly. Im in disbelief about my find, like as i said previously, I thought he was so sincere, and normally i never give men the benefit of the doubt, but did with him several times. Goes to show the lengths people will go to deceive you in order to get what they want. Selfish, selfish world. Never again will i ever entertain a MM. They are useless pieces of ****. Leave us single girls alone and sort out your marriages. Stop chasing and charming us. And its so easy when your feeling vunerable at that time. Married men will be getting cursed out the next time they try to step to me. Sorry for the rant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Never again will i ever entertain a MM. They are useless pieces of ****. Leave us single girls alone and sort out your marriages. Stop chasing and charming us. And its so easy when your feeling vunerable at that time. Married men will be getting cursed out the next time they try to step to me. Sorry for the rant. I'm sorry he treated you the way he did. It's sad that someone would do that to someone else. I agree that married men should stop chasing other women, but perhaps it goes both ways...other women should stop getting involved with married men... if you don't allow yourself to be charmed by them, they won't be able to hurt you. Hope you feel better soon, and that before long, you'll find someone who treats you wonderfully and you go on to have a very happy life:) Link to post Share on other sites
despicableME Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I tell him not to ever call me again or come by the house, and ive blocked is number. Ummm... no. I'm willing to bet that you'll be in contact with him by weeks end. If he's cheating with you; what's to stop him from cheating on you??? I'll ask again. Why do so many OW think they are that much special from anyone else? You're not. Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Now your trust in men has quadrupled? That is on you. If you have trust issues with men why choose a man who you know at the very least lies and deceives his wife? And why did you already have trust issues with men before you even got involved with him? Most likely you have a pattern of choosing bad men which isn't just a streak of bad luck. It's a symptom of deeper problems within you. I suspect that you simply are not attracted to the sweet loyal trustworthy guys. Why is that? So some of your friends had a problem with the age difference and some friends said you should just use him for money (how sweet) but none of them thought the fact that he was married was a problem? Maybe you should consider new friends. As one of the other posters asked, why didn't you think a cheater would cheat on you? Did you think you were better than his wife? That you were more deserving of his loyalty and honesty? Link to post Share on other sites
beenburned Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I agree with the posters above. Plus I will add that usually it is the MM that has problems, not the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're mad that a man that cheats with you might cheat on you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneygirl Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Frozensprouts, I agree. At the time I wasnt even looking for a relationship with anyone. I was happy being single. He stopped me on the road and we spoke. I DID know that he was married from the start, but as i grew to know him better as a friend, i began to develop feelings for him. I thought that i could cope with this type of relationship. But i didnt think Id get in this deep. Silly, I know. I thought i would be able to control my emotions. Ive learned my lesson. Despicable..He will never hear from me as long as i live. Once deceived, Im done. And this makes it all the easier to leave. He did me a big favour. I dont stay with men that cheat on me or lie (as long as i know its a lie).If his wife chooses to, good for her. He had his wife, me and he's still not satisfied. He's totally turned me off him for good. Alexandria, at the beginning i didnt intend for it to become serious. I was in it for the fun aspect, thats all, and boredom in my life at the time. So i didnt consciously choose him as someone i would want as a life partner, as i already knew he was married, and knew he couldnt be trusted. Even as the relationship progressed, i had an inkling he was up to something, but wanted solid proof before i called it a day. That makes it easier to leave, even though im obviously still hurt. I didnt expect him to stay faithful, based on him already cheating on his wife. I need proof in things, before i make my final say. If im going to date a married man, my friends would have much preferred that i was compensated for it, as they know he's getting the best of both worlds, and myself..nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneygirl Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Thankyou Call Blocker . The phone rings once and hangs immediately on mute. 6 times in past hour. Also, a begging sms. I didnt budge an eyelid. Time for him to suffer. And this is how its going to stay indefinitely. Telling me he was trying to get girls for his friends. Yeah........riiiiiiiiiiight. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Change your phone number. EOS. Silence can be a golden sandwich. Welcome to LS Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneygirl Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Thankyou, Carhill . I didnt want the inconvenience of changing my mobile, as many people have it, and I wanted to keep that particular number. Im good at ignoring . Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 No worries. I recall, when one potential suitor got too assertive with my exW while we were separated, she merely changed her number and broadcast SMS the new number to everyone in her directory, save for him. I even got her new number. One potential Link to post Share on other sites
phillyfan Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Dude there r good guys out there, married dudes who pick up girls on the road n cheat r just *********s. If u thnk regular dudes r all like them then u aint neva gona b happy or date again, or u will b so bitter u aint gona keep noone in ur life. Every1 is an individual, but U chose 1 of d crappiest dudes u cud - old, married n he evn pickd u up in d street - girl, u gota learn 2 choose betta. Give d nice single dudes a chance - we aint all as crappy as tht dude. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 And some of us can spell too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneygirl Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Dude there r good guys out there, married dudes who pick up girls on the road n cheat r just *********s. If u thnk regular dudes r all like them then u aint neva gona b happy or date again, or u will b so bitter u aint gona keep noone in ur life. Every1 is an individual, but U chose 1 of d crappiest dudes u cud - old, married n he evn pickd u up in d street - girl, u gota learn 2 choose betta. Give d nice single dudes a chance - we aint all as crappy as tht dude. WhenI first met him, and whilst we were together, he's been nothing but attentive and consistent in his behaviour. He had a lot of the qualities in a man i liked, minus the being married part. Even though i had my suspicions about his fidelity towards me, but its the same line of thought i have even dating a single guy. Its only when i caught him out this morning that it all changed for me. But all this time, all ive had from him is what i required from him. He's shown me what he wanted of himself, as some people do. You dont know someones a bad guy until weeks, months, years down the line. I dont go consciously picking them. In his case i knew he was married, but he treated me well, up until now (as far as i know, anyway). Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneygirl Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 And some of us can spell too! Funny you would say that. He's illiterate too. Link to post Share on other sites
confused112011 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I just got done reading your post and I was thinking to myself wow is this me!?! I know exactly how you are feeling. I WAS involved with a MM also it just ended this week. I knew all along there were lies being told he was very sketchy about things but I never thought somone could lie so much. He was caught this week by the W and I was told basically see ya and haven't talked since. I have so many questions and yes I do still think about what's going on in their house but this is fresh and I also feel so relieved, I felt like I was sorta trapped as I am a single mom, I guess I was in the right place at the right time for this to happen...I know it was not right and I am not making excuses or blaming him, I know it takes two but I was also told his marriage was over and had been for 3 years, he told her he wanted a D yada yada at this point, I'm so hurt SO HURT but it's not about only me, it was not right what I did to her. He goes around this town showing his face all over like nothing happened. It's a very difficult thing... We learn from our mistakes so I will not get involved with a MM again and believe the **** that I did. Link to post Share on other sites
despicableME Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I dont stay with men that cheat on me or lie (as long as i know its a lie). But yet, you will entertain a relationship where a man is cheating on his wife with you... come again??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneygirl Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 I just got done reading your post and I was thinking to myself wow is this me!?! I know exactly how you are feeling. I WAS involved with a MM also it just ended this week. I knew all along there were lies being told he was very sketchy about things but I never thought somone could lie so much. He was caught this week by the W and I was told basically see ya and haven't talked since. I have so many questions and yes I do still think about what's going on in their house but this is fresh and I also feel so relieved, I felt like I was sorta trapped as I am a single mom, I guess I was in the right place at the right time for this to happen...I know it was not right and I am not making excuses or blaming him, I know it takes two but I was also told his marriage was over and had been for 3 years, he told her he wanted a D yada yada at this point, I'm so hurt SO HURT but it's not about only me, it was not right what I did to her. He goes around this town showing his face all over like nothing happened. It's a very difficult thing... We learn from our mistakes so I will not get involved with a MM again and believe the **** that I did. Im glad that at least your feeling a sense of relief. I think thats the best thing. Be so glad that you have him out of your life. The worst thing is getting over that empty void which is left. If your a busy person, I guess its not so bad, but i only work part time, so when im home the thoughts come and go. Angry ones, though. But the way i see it, i was ok before i met him, so i WILL be ok after. Life goes on. Hes probably still out there prowling the streets for his next victim. Sad man at 60. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sydneygirl Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 But yet, you will entertain a relationship where a man is cheating on his wife with you... come again??? I'm certain his wife knows hes cheating. He's been cheating all throughout the marriage, way before he met me. I'm sure she is not that oblivious to his extramarital activities. And if she doesnt care, neither do I. But like I said, lesson learned. Obviously i wouldnt tolerate a man cheating on me. He was collecting a phone number, and thats not even acceptable. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Now my distrust in men has quadrupled. And perhaps his wife's distrust of her fellow female has increased as well. Goes to show the lengths people will go to deceive you in order to get what they want. Selfish, selfish world. You are absolutely correct, but you are part of that selfish crowd yourself. You can't put all of this on him. The majority of it, but you played a part in hurting someone else to get what you wanted, at least for the short term. Never again will i ever entertain a MM. Thats good. Very few seem to learn their lesson. Stay on this line of thinking and hopefully you can find a nice unattached man with no baggage. They are useless pieces of ****. Leave us single girls alone Ok, sorry, but you say this as if you didn't have a choice in the matter. Stop chasing and charming us. They do this because they can. They do this because there are women that will reciprocate. If only more women, and men with regards to married women, would do the following. Married men will be getting cursed out the next time they try to step to me. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 WhenI first met him, and whilst we were together, he's been nothing but attentive and consistent in his behaviour. He had a lot of the qualities in a man i liked, minus the being married part. Even though i had my suspicions about his fidelity towards me, but its the same line of thought i have even dating a single guy. Its only when i caught him out this morning that it all changed for me. But all this time, all ive had from him is what i required from him. He's shown me what he wanted of himself, as some people do. You dont know someones a bad guy until weeks, months, years down the line. I dont go consciously picking them. In his case i knew he was married, but he treated me well, up until now (as far as i know, anyway). With all due respect to you and I mean that. You sound like you are about 16, emotionally I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
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