alexa137 Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 so i told the guy ive been dating off and on for 6 months that i really like him alot and no response! its been half a day! how can men be so ignorant and rude??? started off asking him "so you dont want to see me anymore? he said he was busy with work and out of town trip ok cool, hes off all this week, so last night i said, ok so you are too busy this week? your off right? No response then i said- sorry about that! am i bothering you? no response(thought maybe i sounded a little mean) then i said " maybe you wont want to talk to me again, but i dont think you realize how much i really like you but since you didnt respond i will stop no response!!!! i mean seriously!?/ are you kidding me/ ive been having sex with this guy since may! i dont get it i give up Link to post Share on other sites
Celestine Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Seriously if I was the guy in your scenario, I would feel totally pressured. It doesn't sound like you had a committed relationship, so if he needs some time alone, he can just take it. That doesn't mean he shouldn't tell you, but I think with this overload of text messages you sent, you cornered him and in every message you accused him of something. In this context, your text doesn't sound like an expression of your feelings, I would much rather interpret it as a means to put pressure on him to respond. Why the hell would you want to confess your feelings for someone over text? If you really want him to know, work up the courage and the positive mind set to call him and ask him for a date at the coffee shop or something like that and tell him in person. You'll have your answers afterwards. Good luck!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 because in this day and age no one calls anymore! yes i would much rather talk then text but it seems like its scary b/c what if you call and the other person doesnt pick up or call you back? i wasnt pressuring him just telling him how i feel and basically trying to get him to either leave me alone or pursue me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Celestine Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I didn't say you wanted to pressure him. BUT it came across like that, you see intention and perception might differ significantly. I understand that calling is very scary. I like to write down the most important things I want to say and if it goes to voice mail I just leave a short message: "Hey, this is Celestine. Hope you're fine. Would be nice if you called me back when you have a moment! Bye." If he doesn't call back, you also have an answer. If it's really important to you what causes his behaviour, I think that's the way to figure it out. If you want to move on without knowing, go ahead. And if he eventually gets in touch, communicate, tell him how you feel, set your boundaries, protect your heart!! Again good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
othersideofthepillow Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Hey I'm a 25 year old man and after reading your post there is something I think you should think about: i wasnt pressuring him just telling him how i feel and basically trying to get him to either leave me alone or pursue me Soooo.....which one is it? Seems like you def want him to pursue you instead of leave you alone cause since he is leaving you alone that is making you upset. First off, why has it been on and off for 6 months? Why not just plain on? Second, there could be something happening in his life that he is dealing with and genuinely isn't able to respond right now (yeah I know a text takes only a few sec but you never know whats going on). Third, just relax. It's only been half a day. Let him be for at least a few days and than see if he contacts you. Since it wasn't ever established to be a "ALWAYS ON" relationship, than he really doesn't have to respond to you right away. He may also be taking a few moments to be deciding if he feels the same way about you back - so stop blowing up his phone - TRUST ME doing that will only hurt your chances of getting the response you want. Also, if this doesn't work out in your favor, I wouldn't suggest allowing sex to continue for so long without making sure you are IN A RELATIONSHIP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 yea so i did the call thing and of course no answer, didnt leave voicemail, well he did call back after about an hour- he said he fell asleep last night and that i seemed mad that he didnt respond-yea kinda because if i fell asleep and got a text when i wake up i usually respond! so you had to see it when you woke up but didnt have the decency to respond then! he said he wasnt mad at me and i asked if he wanted to meet for coffee today and he said hecouldnt today, that maybe he would text me tomm(his last day off of vacation) so my thing is if you are having sex with me and we havent had sex in over 2 weeks are you having sex with someone else? if so leave me alone because i have feelings! but thats just something you cant ask a man! let alone even get a response or lie or whatever! they just get mad! the reason its off and on/ well thats something you would have to read if you want in ALL my other posts! yea there are alot of them because i go through so many situations and heartache with men the past 20 yrs and i seem to post all the time!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
kkay Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Highly suggest just cooling your jets and backing off. I've recently been dumped after a 4 year relationship and I seriously think you are pushing this guy away by acting like this. I'm just reading this and I find it completely unattractive and overbearing. You can't assume that your texting behaviour is going to be mirrored by him...Imagine what he thinks on the receiving end? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 OMG! i would be so excited and happy if someone texted me and told me how they felt! that they cared about me and had feelings for me! and that they think about me! that is what i have been waiting and wanting for for 20 yrs! Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 yea so i did the call thing and of course no answer, didnt leave voicemail, well he did call back after about an hour- he said he fell asleep last night and that i seemed mad that he didnt respond-yea kinda because if i fell asleep and got a text when i wake up i usually respond! so you had to see it when you woke up but didnt have the decency to respond then! he said he wasnt mad at me and i asked if he wanted to meet for coffee today and he said hecouldnt today, that maybe he would text me tomm(his last day off of vacation) so my thing is if you are having sex with me and we havent had sex in over 2 weeks are you having sex with someone else? if so leave me alone because i have feelings! but thats just something you cant ask a man! let alone even get a response or lie or whatever! they just get mad! the reason its off and on/ well thats something you would have to read if you want in ALL my other posts! yea there are alot of them because i go through so many situations and heartache with men the past 20 yrs and i seem to post all the time!!!!! Alexa, You really need to calm down. I understand how frustrating it can be to feel like you are being ignored by someone you care for. I get it, I really do; in fact, I used to be a little hot headed myself when I was your age. In time, you'll hopefully see that this is not the way to be, but also that if you're dating someone that is driving you crazy mentally/emotionally, it's probably a bad situation to be in. You need to go into a relationship knowing that it can end any day. Take each day and be happy. Treat the other person with kindness and respect. Treat them how you would like to be treated (hopefully with trust and honesty). But when it doesn't go your way, do not get angry at the other person. Take a moment to think about if this is really working for you. Get a stronger sense of self, and be your own best friend. If this guy isn't making you happy, you need to move on. I know investing 6 months and being intimate can make it heartbreaking and difficult, but you will meet someone else. Be confident in yourself. Know what you want and ask for it. Do not compromise what is important to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 something I heard last night in the movie Crazy Stupid Love and I think its what im feeling and doing: I will never stop trying, because when you find the "one" you never give up! Link to post Share on other sites
othersideofthepillow Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Seriously....alexa we are trying to help you out but you are not listening to any of us. RELAX. Take it day by day! You are coming off very overbearing and emotional - and not emotional in a good way. Imagine what you would do if you got a text from someone pouring their heart out and you werent exactly sure how you felt or were still figuring out if you felt the same before you responded back. I can GUARANTEE IF YOU KEEP THIS UP KISS HIM GOODBYE CAUSE YOUR GONNA FREAK AND SCARE THE **** OUT OF HIM!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) unfortunately, that's the risk that we take when we reveal our feelings for someone. once we tell that person how we feel, it's out of our hands. that being said - - it's only been half a day. give it time. i've never had someone profess their feelings to me. but if i did, i'm sure it would take time for me to digest. he probably feels the same way. this isn't something you can measure as to when he'll get back to you. but the more you pressure him for a response the less likely you are to get one - - and if you do - - it's most likely not going to be a response you're going to want to hear. Edited December 1, 2011 by radiodarcy Link to post Share on other sites
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