keeping a friend as a friend?

[noleaf]

ive recently started to develop feelings for my best friend of 3 years. I'm almost 100% certain that he doesnt feel the same way about me. Additionally, he kissed my other female best friend about 2 months ago - which makes it even more complicated, as i'm pretty sure they might hook up with each other into something more perminent soon.

 

Anyway, i really need to stop viewing him as someone i have those kind of feelings for. Does anyone have idea of how i can move on? I work with this guy and we're really close friends, i cant just cut him out of my life.

 

Also, there is some hope on my part that he might like me in the same way back - i know that the best way to extinguish this hope is to declare my feelings and ask him if he feels the same way, because then i will know. But i cant do that. I dont want to risk our friendship, by declaring my feelings.

 

Any advice anyone can give to help me move on from these feelings would be massively appreciated

 

thanks x x x x x x

[Way2blue]

Just be brave. One day say, "Hey, so-and-so, I've just been a little curious about something, and since you're my best friend I was wondering if I could try a little experiment?" Then just lean in and give him a big old sloppy romantic kiss. His reaction will be your answer. Then just wipe it off and say "thanks!" and see what he says.

[noleaf]

thanks for the advice way

 

I really dont think i could ever do that- i'm not naturally a spontaneous person, and to be honest, its not really a case of wondering whether he feels the same as me. I'm more looking for advice as to how i can stop having these feelings. But thanks so much for your reply anyway :-)

 

Please please please, if there is anyone reading this and you have some advice for me, i would be really grateful, i just feel so messed up right now.

 

 

x x x x x x

[TheFinalWord]

thanks for the advice way

 

I really dont think i could ever do that- i'm not naturally a spontaneous person, and to be honest, its not really a case of wondering whether he feels the same as me. I'm more looking for advice as to how i can stop having these feelings. But thanks so much for your reply anyway :-)

 

Please please please, if there is anyone reading this and you have some advice for me, i would be really grateful, i just feel so messed up right now. Did he make the move on your best friend? If so, if he liked you he probably would have done the same to you.

 

 

x x x x x x

 

There's only two ways I can think of how you can "stop" the feelings:

 

1: Find someone else

2: Fina a new line of work "out of sight, out of mind"

 

The other alternative is to share you feelings with him. In that case he could give you the answer you want. Or you could hear what you don't want to hear. I don't think him telling you that he doesn't like you romantically will help you stop the feelings though.

 

Getting the answer does provide some closure, but it also can make it awkward between you two and your best friend.

 

Did he make the first move on your best friend? If he did, he probably would have done the same to you if he liked you.

Edited December 2, 2011 by TheFinalWord

[noleaf]

Thanks so much for your reply. I think you're right about him not making a move on me, etc.

 

I still need some ways of getting over my feelings for him though. I can't believe that no one else has ever has had to do this. Surely someone must have some tips!!!

 

Xxxx