Girlfriend cut her hair--how do I get over my attraction to long hair?

[Wolf18]

Hahahahaha yes good Bon Jovi songs for sure. I didn't say main stream music was country bumpkin. I said Bon Jovi's new sh*t is very country bumpkin. I detest country music. I don't listen to John Denver. I'm sure he is good. As is Johnny Cash. That's REAL country music. Not Kenny Chesney or Taylor Swift. That is the new country and it sucks balls.

 

 

Oh I see what you mean. I agree completely about Taylor Swift and others like her. The only thing I can think of doing when presented with the cultural mainstream is to piss in it

 

 

Yes I heard that rumor as well. He likes blowing Twiggy Ramirez too from what I heard. On stage in front of his fans. [/Quote]

 

ROFL! He will do anything to shock people, off stage he's actually a pretty normal, mild mannered guy. Being normal would probably shock more Americans than his typical antics.

 

Too bad blowing another man in public doesn't shock anyone anymore, I'm surprised he doesn't get a school in the Castro district named after him

[ShannonMI]

Oh I see what you mean. I agree completely about Taylor Swift and others like her. The only thing I can think of doing when presented with the cultural mainstream is to piss in it

 

 

 

 

ROFL! He will do anything to shock people, off stage he's actually a pretty normal, mild mannered guy. Being normal would probably shock more Americans than his typical antics.

 

Too bad blowing another man in public doesn't shock anyone anymore, I'm surprised he doesn't get a school in the Castro district named after him

He is probably boring as hell in real life.

 

If I saw two ugly monsters (that's what those two look like:sick:) on stage at a concert, blowing each other, I'd be shocked and completely grossed out. I'm a nice, innocent girl though;)

[norajane]

It did help, yes, I had forgotten about her for months until you mentioned it, I actually first saw Ryanne before my girlfriend cut her hair but after she told me she was planning on doing it (she cut it 2 months ago, told me she was thinking about it 5 months ago). I suspect more would help, but Ryanne has been particularly helpful because she's so similar-looking to my girlfriend, at least in the body and hair, they don't look as identical in the face as the body. Uma Thurman's body is the absolute closest similarity I've seen to my girlfriend since she's also about the same height...I looked for pictures of Uma with short hair but couldn't find many or any. I'd love to find more images of tall, thin, shapely women with short, dark hair like my girlfriend, but it's a really difficult body type to find--which is why I find her so sexy, her body is just so unique and spectacular. I don't have problems with sexual attraction to her...it's just when I'm looking at her, talking to her, my eyes go to her hair and it makes me feel sad (if you'd like to take the discussion of how you can be Zen and still feel emotions and make value judgments to a different thread, Quantum, I'm all for it! )

 

I don't understand this.

 

Why do you need to look at pictures of other women with short hair...in an effort to find your gf attractive?? How does that help?

[Woggle]

Is Taylor Swift even country? Modern Country and top 40 rock have pretty much merged to become some horrible glob. Give me some Johnny Cash though and I can jam to it.

 

Rock is horrible these days as well. It's all some emo and angsty crap. What happened to the fun?

[OliveOyl]

How many guys have you seen recently with long hair? I haven't seen one in the past week or in the past month for that matter. Long hair on dudes is not popular right now. In the 80's and 90's it was, but it isn't now. Clean cut is in.

My BF has long hair. I think it's very sexy in a "tarzan" way. I love it.

[ShannonMI]

Is Taylor Swift even country? Modern Country and top 40 rock have pretty much merged to become some horrible glob. Give me some Johnny Cash though and I can jam to it.

 

Rock is horrible these days as well. It's all some emo and angsty crap. What happened to the fun?

Yeah and she sucks. I can't stand her. She can't even sing live. It's one thing to be a country singer and have a good voice, but listening to her is like listening to a cat in heat. She's a cute girl though. That's all she has going for her IMO.

 

Yes country and rock have merged unfortunately. Like Bon Jovi is more country/rock now and so is Kid Rock. BORING!!!!! I used to love Bon Jovi but now when I hear one of their songs I change the station.

 

Emo is garbage. You're right. I don't listen to that either. I like hip/hop R&B and dance music. I like some rock too.

[ShannonMI]

My BF has long hair. I think it's very sexy in a "tarzan" way. I love it.

Hahahahaha I'm sure there are some fine ass men with long hair. I haven't seen any in my vicinity recently though.

 

Or how about Conan? Like this gorgeous man who played him in a recent movie. I wouldn't throw him out of my bed for eating crackers:love:

http://images.hollywood.com/cms/500x625/7809922.jpg Long hair and hot!!

[Woggle]

Old Bon Jovi rocks. I used to love In and out of love.

 

I don't even like most hip hop and R&B. 90s rap was great but today it sounds like a Justin Bieber song. Maybe I am just becoming an old fart but the music of today with a few exceptions is just awful.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Yeah and she sucks. I can't stand her. She can't even sing live. It's one thing to be a country singer and have a good voice, but listening to her is like listening to a cat in heat. She's a cute girl though. That's all she has going for her IMO.

Yes country and rock have merged unfortunately. Like Bon Jovi is more country/rock now and so is Kid Rock. BORING!!!!! I used to love Bon Jovi but now when I hear one of their songs I change the station.

Emo is garbage. You're right. I don't listen to that either. I like hip/hop R&B and dance music. I like some rock too.

 

Taylor Swift's most impressive trait is that she writes all of her own music. With something like 10 #1 hits now... that is talent. Of course all her songs are pure teen angst, but still her audience really connects with her.

 

Few artists can write their own songs anymore.

 

In regards to country music. I love it now! My top 10 drinking songs are all country... though there is still a very soft spot in my heart for the 'Ball of kerrymuir'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2NISXa1Qok

 

Sorry for the threadjack.

[ShannonMI]

Old Bon Jovi rocks. I used to love In and out of love.

 

I don't even like most hip hop and R&B. 90s rap was great but today it sounds like a Justin Bieber song. Maybe I am just becoming an old fart but the music of today with a few exceptions is just awful.

Ugh no!! Like Drake and Nicki Manaj are great. Rihanna is good. Usher and Miguel are a couple of my favorties. That's the type of sh*t I like. Not anything close to that little pansy Justin Beiber. He is so irritating. He's another one I can't listen to. He comes on and I change the channel.

[ShannonMI]

Taylor Swift's most impressive trait is that she writes all of her own music. With something like 10 #1 hits now... that is talent. Of course all her songs are pure teen angst, but still her audience really connects with her.

 

Few artists can write their own songs anymore.

 

In regards to country music. I love it now! My top 10 drinking songs are all country... though there is still a very soft spot in my heart for the 'Ball of kerrymuir'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2NISXa1Qok

 

Sorry for the threadjack.

Yeah she does write her own sh*t which is virtually unheard of now a days. All of them are about past boyfriends. YAWN, but the it sells I guess. So she's cute and writes her own songs. She should be a song writer then, not a singer.

[Woggle]

Hate to sound grumpy but not a fan of it. Drake is too soft and that song with Rihanna and Eminem is one of the worst songs I have heard.

 

Adele is pretty good though and Black Keys are just great.

[ShannonMI]

Hate to sound grumpy but not a fan of it. Drake is too soft and that song with Rhianna and Ermine is one of the worst songs I have heard.

 

Adele is pretty good though and Black Keys are just great.

Oh that Rihanna song is trash. I agree. I hate Eminem with a passion. I like her solo stuff. Drake is great. Soft? I don't know about that. His songs are pretty profane. Adele is AMAZING!! I just got her newest CD. Never heard of the Black Keys.

[Woggle]

I just heard a Drake song where he sounds like a nice guy trying to convince a woman to like him. I hate singers like that. To me Rihanna sounds like another autotuned singer to me. I must admit that I even though I don't care for her music I do respect Lady Gaga as a singer.

 

The Black Keys are a rock group who make music like they were transported from the 60s and 70s. I can picture myself in a muscle car at the drive in listening to their stuff. It's great.

[ShannonMI]

I just heard a Drake song where he sounds like a nice guy trying to convince a woman to like him. I hate singers like that. To me Rihanna sounds like another autotuned singer to me. I must admit that I even though I don't care for her music I do respect Lady Gaga as a singer.

 

The Black Keys are a rock group who make music like they were transported from the 60s and 70s. I can picture myself in a muscle car at the drive in listening to their stuff. It's great.

I love Rihanna's new song We Found Love. I can relate to it in a way. Reminds me if the last dude I dated. Lady Gaga has killer pipes, but her act is getting stale. There are just so many shocking things one woman can do and they've all been done by Madonna. It's all too apparent she tries to be like her and there is no copying Madge. I don't like any of Gaga's new music. The songs on The Fame were great. That was her 1st album. Her new album blows.

[Woggle]

Edge of Glory is good but that is mostly because of Clarence Clemons playing the sax. May he rest in peace.

[ShannonMI]

Edge of Glory is good but that is mostly because of Clarence Clemons playing the sax. May he rest in peace.

Sampling....another annoying trend. This thread has been jacked completely!! Sorry OP!!!!:p

[Woggle]

Sampling....another annoying trend. This thread has been jacked completely!! Sorry OP!!!!:p

 

Sorry for jacking it as well but I love discussing music.

[ShannonMI]

Sorry for jacking it as well but I love discussing music.

Meeeeee too!! We need to start a music thread:laugh:

[pureinheart]

Apologies OP, I have only read the first page of your thread. I like your pre-empt, it shows a lot of class and respect BTW.

 

I agree with Woggle on this one. I realise men are visual, although at some point physical qualities that we are attracted to and stuff that is attractive might fade.

 

What if she were to loose her hair? I have a friend that lost all of the hair on her body after her second child. Her husband struggled with this for years and now they are not together because his attraction was skin deep. She is the most beautiful person I have met to date...she is really pretty and wears wigs and you can't even tell (actually I have seen pics of her prior to the hair loss and she is prettier now IMO).

 

Upon my suggestion, my exbf grew his hair out (he had really long hair as a teen)...being the rebellious little sh*ts that we are/were. He was going through a really bad time and was not taking care of himself because of depression. His hair got really long and he put on some weight...but I didn't notice because I was in love with him...his outside appearance didn't matter and was not important (now if his hygiene had taken a dump, that would be different). He cut his hair and lost weight (although I like weight on men) and did look better, although that was not the criteria for being with him...it was for him.

[pureinheart]

Taylor Swift's most impressive trait is that she writes all of her own music. With something like 10 #1 hits now... that is talent. Of course all her songs are pure teen angst, but still her audience really connects with her.

 

Few artists can write their own songs anymore.

 

In regards to country music. I love it now! My top 10 drinking songs are all country... though there is still a very soft spot in my heart for the 'Ball of kerrymuir'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2NISXa1Qok

 

Sorry for the threadjack.

 

Sorry for the tj too, although Taylor Swift rocks IMO...

[Els]

About two months ago my girlfriend I've been dating since February 2011 cut her hair from about 3-6 inches below her shoulder to super-short. It looks almost exactly like Emma Watson's new short haircut, i.e. 1-2 inches at max--it's shorter than mine and I usually always have short hair (my girlfriend claims mine looks like Stephen Colbert's and my ex said it looks like "all the guys on Mad Men"). I've got the standard preference that most (but not all) men have--I'm more attracted to long hair. I don't know exactly why it is--maybe it's because my mom had long hair throughout my childhood, maybe it's because my first crushes and girlfriends had long hair, maybe it's because long hair is a distinctively feminine trait and short hair looks too masculine. The last of those reasons is certainly true for me, but I'm sure it's a mix of them all. I really DO find short hair on women highly masculine, though--there's nothing I can imagine that can make a women look less feminine than short hair. I completely empathize with the maintenance hassle of long hair, and I completely empathize and I HATE the societal double-standard that leaves women with far more personal appearance maintenance than men (makeup, hair, clothes, shaving legs, shaving tanlines, etc)...yet I still find long hair more attractive. Mentally, I hate myself for feeling that way, but it's something deep within what attracts me to women. I'd far prefer she wear no makeup, stop shaving her legs, and hypothetically gain 40 pounds (not really because of the health problems that causes) than cut her hair short.

 

My previous girlfriend I was with for 15 years cut her hair to a bob about 11 years in, and for the entire last 4 years we dated, I didn't like her short hair much, although I didn't think about it as much as I do now that the new girlfriend has cut it so much significantly shorter than even my own hair usually is, so I know this isn't an easy thing for me to change about myself, but I'd like to change it.

 

I love her a lot, but I'm significantly less attracted to her. I really find her sexy, but I find myself trying to just not think about her hair a lot. However, because it's all around her face, I can't get away from it and it just keeps coming back to the front of my mind, and when I think about the hair, my attraction vanishes for varying amounts of time until I can put it out of my mind again. I've had no reason to look at other women because she fills all my desires, but since the haircut, I look at women and celebrities a lot to appreciate their beautiful long hair.

 

I'm aware that half of you who read this will simply dismiss me as shallow...if that's the case, no need to reply, I won't find it helpful, I know a good portion of the world thinks that way. I'm not anywhere close to leaving her for having short hair--my lack of attraction is purely physical, I still love her, and it's only a part of my physical attraction, I find plenty of her other qualities sexy as well. But the hair is a huge part of attraction that keeps coming up in my mind since it's so close to her face. I like her for who she is far more than how she looks, and I'm a Zen Buddhist and I could easily get past this by mentally shutting it off if I wanted to, it's just that I don't WANT to "shut it off" and simply ignore what I'm physically attracted to--I want to understand it. Rather, I'd like to figure out exactly WHY I have this attraction, and more importantly, figure out how I can change what I'm attracted to. It's a tricky psychological thing I'm wanting to understand, not simply "get over" without fully exploring.

 

Anyone have insight for how I can change what I'm attracted to? Some people think you choose it, others think you can't control attraction...I suspect you CAN control it, but it's not at ALL a simple choice and that changing it is a matter of introspection and self-reflection to understand why you feel that way to begin with and then finding some way of getting past it. I liken it to changing the types of foods you like to eat--at varying points in our lives we like or dislike certain foods, but our opinions on that change as we open our minds to different experiences, and that's what I'm looking to do here--open my mind to the beauty of short hair on women. My attempts to date haven't worked yet so I'm looking for different perspectives.

 

You sound like a very reasonable guy, and I'm sorry some of the posters have been harsh to you (and derailed your thread).

 

I haven't read through the rest of the thread, since it was mostly 8 unrelated pages, but my first reaction is... If hair is that important to you, why did you not tell her before she cut it?? There is a way to divulge your preferences to her without coming off sounding like an insensitive jerk. You could have told her often how you loved her hair, and done romantic stuff like combed it for her, ran your fingers through it while cuddling, etc.

 

Now that it's done, well.. stick it out, I guess. It's just hair, it grows back. When it reaches a nice length, try doing what I suggested above! Also, perhaps there could be a compromise of sorts. There is a HUGE spectrum between Emma Watson-short and mid-back length. Perhaps she could keep it at shoulder-length or slightly shorter? That doesn't incur that much of a maintenance hassle, especially if she can tie it up for work and such, so she really only needs to do it up nicely on special date-nights.

 

Also, how about you make a playful 'bargain' of sorts for her? She keeps her hair long for you, and you do something of her choosing with your own appearance (working out in the gym more, or wearing clothes she picks out for you, etc).

[darkmoon]

not sure if I'd have changed my appearance if my boyf had a must-have. I once wanted to get my stomach 'done' but he liked my plump belly. Hair can grow back. *mischeivious* grow a beard and see how she handles you. I know this thread has had lots of differing views, mind you, but this is a simple request from you. So what's so hard about saying yes?

[grkBoy]

I only read page 1 of this and caught the OP's initial message and his later reply on how the GF did ask what he thought about short hair beforehand and despite him saying he doesn't find it attractive, his GF was hurt and did it anyway with a "I don't care what you think" attitude.

 

I'll be blunt and even shallow. IMHO, this is why many guys leave or cheat on their women. For all the women who lament on nice guys and guys who "don't act like men", this is the same thing.

 

Women have said "I can't fathom sleeping with a guy who acts like a child...it totally destroys any attraction".

 

Guess what? It's the same deal. By chopping that hair off you've destroyed your femininity, and thus in bed we look at you like you're a man.

 

I give the OP credit in how this isn't a relationship-destroyer for him. Seen others who instantly dumped the girl for the defiance. If one thinks this is ridiculous, then ask yourself how you would feel if your SO suddenly gained 200 lbs. Would you still sleep with him/her and look at him/her the way you always did?

 

To me, when you're in a RL, then these kinds of changes should be discussed and agreed upon. If the OP wanted to get tattooed "sleeves" on his arms, but his woman hates tattoos, then he should be willing to give up that desire for her, or both come to a compromise, like just some on the upper arms and not sleeves. The girl should have been willing to go "not as short" as she did, but maybe he accept some levels of short.

 

IMHO, the hair doesn't look good on Emma Watson, and you look at 99% of the women guys drool over, they all have long hair. Women need to stop believing this myth that short hair can look good. I don't see any VS models with short hair.

 

You can call me shallow, but I'm being honest. My fiance chopped her hair short once, and I didn't get dramatic about it, but later she asked me what I thought of it and I told her I wasn't fond of it. I cut my hair really short one day and she also told me she didn't like it...so I won't do that ever again.

 

It's just hair. It will grow back, but I believe people in RLs need to really think about their SO when they do big changes like this. Attraction is attraction, and when one drastically changes it with weight gain or hair shopping...then you honestly run the risk of losing the interest of your SO.

[Els]

I'll be blunt and even shallow. IMHO, this is why many guys leave or cheat on their women. For all the women who lament on nice guys and guys who "don't act like men", this is the same thing.

 

I give the OP credit in how this isn't a relationship-destroyer for him. Seen others who instantly dumped the girl for the defiance. If one thinks this is ridiculous, then ask yourself how you would feel if your SO suddenly gained 200 lbs. Would you still sleep with him/her and look at him/her the way you always did?

 

To me, when you're in a RL, then these kinds of changes should be discussed and agreed upon. If the OP wanted to get tattooed "sleeves" on his arms, but his woman hates tattoos, then he should be willing to give up that desire for her, or both come to a compromise, like just some on the upper arms and not sleeves. The girl should have been willing to go "not as short" as she did, but maybe he accept some levels of short.

 

I think the OP is handling himself marvellously and that his post demonstrated thoughtfulness and sensitivity, as well. He has also stated that he does not wish to leave his gf.

 

However, I disagree with the bolded statements of yours. Let's put it this way - if you really wanted to get yourself a crew-cut and your gf doesn't like men with crew-cuts, and you still did it, do you think she would be justified in leaving you as you stated in bold? Or would you call her a shallow bitch for that?

 

I've told my bf that I don't like the way a crew-cut looks on him, but if he ever went ahead and did it, I'd be just, meh. I would never, ever consider leaving him just because he cut his hair shorter than I find attractive. If someone is willing to do that, they did not have much of a relationship to begin with IMO. Mine goes deeper than just his hair. From the looks of things, the OP's does too.

 

I agree that his gf should not have gone ahead and done it, but it certainly does not seem like a good reason to leave a LTR.