YuGr. Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Hey guys I'm having a bit of trouble coping with my first real break up at 19 after a 2.5 year long relationship. (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t309093/) I'm wondering what other people felt like in my situation so perhaps I could find myself in your story and learn from people who've been there. I'm more interested in your feeling (and not about the relationship itself) after the break up and how you've moved on from it, what you learned and how it feels looking back it. Please if you come across this thread and have a few, share away what it felt like and what you learned from it/experience. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Hey, YuGr. I remember answering quite a bit in one of your threads (where your ex was texting you while still apparently with somebody else), and so I thought I'd pipe in here too and see what I can contribute. It's kind of hard to say what exactly I've learned from a break-up, as it's hard to distinguish whether or not you're actually over it -- over it enough to have a clear perspective. After all, at times it may feel like you're completely fine and done with it all, and then the next week it feels like you're back at square one. But I think I've come long enough by now to have learned at least a few things. As far as the horrible feeling after a break-up goes, I can't change what I've done, but looking back I wish I had let it go sooner and made bigger steps to move on. I've had chances in the past to do this, to start something new, but I didn't because I was (am?) still stuck pining for what I can't have. I do know this, though: No matter how much you want to, you cannot make someone love you or want you anymore if they don't. It's the thing that hurts the most and takes the longest to get over, but wanting someone who doesn't want you doesn't make for a good relationship. It isn't healthy. You move on from this by learning to desire things that benefit you and don't harm you. Sometimes there's no use lingering over something that just cannot be... Link to post Share on other sites
twinkles Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I remember when I was that age I would cry like a bumbling idiot. Why me? whaa whaa whaa What did I do wrong? whaa whaa Why doesn't he love me anymore? whaa whaa whaa Call friends and repeat above. As you get older you come to a realization that some people just don't find what they are looking for in you. It's nothing personal they are just looking for more than you have to offer. It's about them and what they want not about you. I don't believe you have to change the essence of who you are to please someone else. Compromise for that person yes but change no. You have a right to live your life as you want it and as you are. You have to remain genuine to yourself. If that person cannot accept you as you are then they don't love you unconditionally. When you do find someone who loves you unconditionally, you have found beauty. Live and let live. Link to post Share on other sites
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