sahdow1955 Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Here is all the basic info We are both in our mid 40s We have been married for 10 years No children in the house We both work days We split housework I even cook So with the information above give me some ideas or help I am ready to give up and move on. As I said above I have been married for 10 years now we have no children in the house just my wife and me. We both work days and have a great marriage with one exception our sex life sucks. I have tried everything I can think of. I bought vibrator for her she used it once or twice and she put it in the drawer and there it stays bought lubes nothing have tried oral nothing we have sex maybe 2 times a month and that’s like pity sex. It’s always the same thing never anything different. I have talked to her about this and always get the same answer I did not know there was a problem. Earlier on in our marriage I attributed it to the fact that kids were in the home and she was working afternoon shift. She does not like to receive oral sex let alone give it. I’m at my wits end. Its almost like I get the feeling from her that love making or sex and yes there is a difference is for making baby’s. I love to see her masturbate and have tried to have her do it to herself as I do it. Its like anything other than missionary style is dirty or sick. Now comes the twist if she has a few drinks and we can get to bed before she falls asleep it’s great, neither one of us are big drinkers so if we go out somewhere and she gets loaded and stays that way till we get home great. So help me out give me some ideas or suggestions. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Have a nightly cocktail hour.....LOL just kidding. Try sex therapy, Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Man I'm gonna start sounding like a broken record in here. What is her, "Love Language"? To some it's gifts, others it's words of affirmation, Physical touch,( I know, that sounds like that's out ). Try visting or reading the 5 love languages by moody publications, try this link: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/garychapman/. I really swear by this method. My wife and I had the same problem and once I read this and started to follow the advice it gives, the sex and love making became more and more regular and she even suggests ways to make it more exciting!!! I AM NOT KIDDING!!! This really works!! Give it a shot, you won't be disappointed!!! She turned from someone who was cold hearted, not wanting to cuddle, hold hands, or snuggle in bed to someone who can't get enough physical contact. You have to learn how to fill her, "Love Tank", and the rest will follow.....believe me!!!! Moose Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Has she always been this way? What about during the madly in love stage of the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Jacksin Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 It sounds as if your wife needs the booze to lower her inhibitions, so there must be an under lying problem. I think she certainly needs therapy to be able to overcome this, because if handled incorrectly it could make things far worse. Good Luck Jack Link to post Share on other sites
PUHLEEEEZE... Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Moose is right on about the Love Language thing - the web-site has some great tips. I'm going to sound like the broken record as well - get Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". It addresses this issue head on. I had begun to neglect my obligation to my wonderful husband. Luckily, he sat me down and told me how much it was hurting him, and that, as good and patient man as he is, he needed that from me. At first I thought he was being an inconsiderate beast - can't he see how tired I am? How it has to be "just right" in order for me to participate? etc... I was looking for validation of my position, and stumbled on Dr. Laura's book. Wow! Was I knocked for a loop! She explains to women that a good man will "Swim through shark infested waters to bring you a lemonade" if he is treated with respect, given good lovin' on a regular basis and a hot dinner now and then. I mean, DUH!! How easy is THAT?!? So I've been doing that (I have to admit, it's not always as easy as it sounds - I have to pull out the book now and then to remind me what a great deal I've got going here)... and things are just SO much better! Get the book, read it, and then have a good talk with your wife and see if she'll read it, too. GOOD LUCK!! Link to post Share on other sites
winterwonderland Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 I hear if you go to a real good massoos that they will releave all the pressures in your body and wow can they ever do a great job. Link to post Share on other sites
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