betterdeal Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Maybe discuss it with your girlfriend. Her perspective on this might be interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 MY girlfriend? Oh let me get this clear I have no intentions of taking my ex back. Sorry maybe this is shallow or whatever but I just want her to tell me she wants me back. I don't even know why she REALLY broke up with me. The new girl is amazing in every way. I never really believed in the soulmate thing but there is some kind of weird connection. The timing of how every thing fell into place ect. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 WOW! Ok so right now I am at month 9 she started reaching out to me a little bit at month 8. She even told me that she felt like she was always reaching out to me. So anyways I am at month 9 right now. She said happy Valentines day with a wink. No happy birthday no merry christmas no happy new year but now its all of the sudden happy valentines day. She is still with gigs guy. We got into a small conversation she started beating around the bush and then jumped right to the "are you seeing anyone" "whats she like" "do you like her" " Are you seeing a future with her" I told her I liked her and she is really nice and treats me good. I declined to answer anymore. We stopped talking for a few days and then I get a random Text of a picture of a resturaunt with the same name as me. with just "hehe" A few more texts of hi or hows it going? I have not answered her. So if this is gigs which according to you two's timeline everythign seems to be almost identical. She even called me at month 5 crying and telling me she missed me and was sorry. Oh and she told me this guy is "Mr right now" a few weeks ago. Smokey as someone who has been through it. Predictions? Wilson? What do you think? I expect you will see some regret or remorse very very soon. If you are happy with the new chick, keep continueing to ignore your ex please dont string her along. For the sake of your new girlfriend block your ex Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Wilson is there a possibility I could talk to you through Im or email reguarding my situation? As ive said before gigs lasts a long time, years. So if im corrct you have only been split with your ex for a month or so. Can you pin point when she changed, her beliefs and morals. When she lost her feelings? Has she ever hut you with the I love you but not in love with you lin or I dont know what i want. Draw on your own experience of gigs you have all the knowledge inside you. Link to post Share on other sites
offcloudnine Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 As ive said before gigs lasts a long time, years. So if im corrct you have only been split with your ex for a month or so. Can you pin point when she changed, her beliefs and morals. When she lost her feelings? Has she ever hut you with the I love you but not in love with you lin or I dont know what i want. Draw on your own experience of gigs you have all the knowledge inside you. Sorry for hijacking the thread, but when I saw this, I needed to get some advice. My ex who recently broke up with me about a week ago has given me the whole "I really love you a lot, but I don't think I'm in love with you, and even if I was I don't think it was madly in love which is something I want" line. We've been together for 3 years and it has been great...there was only one other time when she was confused with her feelings of whether she really loved me or not but that was solved...or so we thought. She can't quite remember that incident apparently...and she left me also for the fact that she doesn't feel like we have any romance/love in the relationship and that's something she wants to have at least once in her life before she gets too old for it. Admittedly, things have gone way into the comfort zone the past few months, and it hasn't been easy to do much about it (though I should have tried harder!) since we have also been long distance these past few months. It's almost like she flipped a switch with her feelings since she broke up with me and is no longer the loving partner I remember. She'd used to love the thought of hugging and kissing me, but she has told me it somewhat repulses her to think of it now. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Sorry for hijacking the thread, but when I saw this, I needed to get some advice. My ex who recently broke up with me about a week ago has given me the whole "I really love you a lot, but I don't think I'm in love with you, and even if I was I don't think it was madly in love which is something I want" line. We've been together for 3 years and it has been great...there was only one other time when she was confused with her feelings of whether she really loved me or not but that was solved...or so we thought. She can't quite remember that incident apparently...and she left me also for the fact that she doesn't feel like we have any romance/love in the relationship and that's something she wants to have at least once in her life before she gets too old for it. Admittedly, things have gone way into the comfort zone the past few months, and it hasn't been easy to do much about it (though I should have tried harder!) since we have also been long distance these past few months. It's almost like she flipped a switch with her feelings since she broke up with me and is no longer the loving partner I remember. She'd used to love the thought of hugging and kissing me, but she has told me it somewhat repulses her to think of it now. This must be the first post ive saw in a while that xplains gigs symptoms from the emotional side. Sorry to say it but shes going to going to enter into some relationships chasing the butterfly feeling of infatuation, through time she will find that its not real love and grow emotionally seeking for what she had with you, wether she will return or not is anyones guess but it will take a long time Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Smokey, I have been reading homebrews threads and he says that a person with gigs won't be over it until they are 25, my ex is 20, does this mean that I won't have a chance to reconcile until she is 25, or can we reconcile and she can get past her gigs while being in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Smokey, I have been reading homebrews threads and he says that a person with gigs won't be over it until they are 25, my ex is 20, does this mean that I won't have a chance to reconcile until she is 25, or can we reconcile and she can get past her gigs while being in a relationship? Typically last 2 years, you can recon yes and go through it yes but its a hard road to go and the end result may be that if she doesnt get to sow her wild oats right now she may leave again in the future to do so or resent you for not letting her get this out of her system. If she gets infatuated with you again then yes you can go through it with her Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 So say we reconcile and she still needs to get through her gigs, what do I do let her be free while in a relationship with me? Basically go to parties with her and such? Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 And do you think right now strict nc is best? Do I ignore her if she tries to contact me? Link to post Share on other sites
offcloudnine Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 This must be the first post ive saw in a while that xplains gigs symptoms from the emotional side. Sorry to say it but shes going to going to enter into some relationships chasing the butterfly feeling of infatuation, through time she will find that its not real love and grow emotionally seeking for what she had with you, wether she will return or not is anyones guess but it will take a long time Ouch, it really hurts to hear this but I guess it's the truth. She needs to discover and grow emotionally on her own before being able to fully commit herself to a relationship she believes in. May sound silly to say, but I hope that she can find self-realization without going through relationships with other guys She did meet a guy the other day and had dinner to get to know him a bit better, but she was absolutely disgusted at his personality, etc. I didn't stalk her to find this out, she seemed very keen to tell me this tale on her own. Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Smokey I have another question, I want to invite a girl to one of my house parties but I know my ex has her spies and she will eventually find out and get jealous like the last time when I kissed a girl there, is it wise to invite her or avoid the whole thing knowing she is going to get jealous and angry. Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 S2Korean, You are single!! Do what/who you want! sow your oats too. One of my previous ex's went through gigs and when she came back if I hadn't been with a few women I wouldn't have been able to get over the fact that she was with another man. OH and sometimes it snaps them out of it. Just don't hurt the other girl she might not deserve it. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Ouch, it really hurts to hear this but I guess it's the truth. She needs to discover and grow emotionally on her own before being able to fully commit herself to a relationship she believes in. May sound silly to say, but I hope that she can find self-realization without going through relationships with other guys She did meet a guy the other day and had dinner to get to know him a bit better, but she was absolutely disgusted at his personality, etc. I didn't stalk her to find this out, she seemed very keen to tell me this tale on her own. She should date and fall in love with others, something that may put you at ease though is that they seek shallow relationships Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 So say we reconcile and she still needs to get through her gigs, what do I do let her be free while in a relationship with me? Basically go to parties with her and such? Would you be happy about her banging other guys while with you? Let her go to get whatever is in her system out or she will resent you in later years. Stop caring what she does, stop playing games and stop freaking the hell out. Have you looked at yourself recently? I know you in a panic, we all do it, it happens to us all but you need to stop and focus on yourself and gain some control or you will end up very messed up. Just stop and focus on you and gain control! Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Thanks for the advice guys, your right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 Stop caring what he does, stop playing games and stop freaking the hell out. Have you looked at yourself recently? I know you in a panic, we all do it, it happens to us all but you need to stop and focus on yourself and gain some control or you will end up very messed up. Just stop and focus on you and gain control! Haha smokey, you should take your own advice sometimes darling =) Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Wilson, my ex is trying to make me the bad guy, she is saying that I never tried to get her back when I did. Should I keep ignoring her and stay no contact? Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 She told me i.broke her heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 shes "self talking" everything in gigs is about themself. shes rewriting history to herself based on her own selfish perception, nothing you can do. write it off, go out and have fun, play video games, hit on other girls, take a time out from her and focus on you Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 But do I ignore her? She seems to get angry when I do. Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Wilson did you ever get your ex back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 But do I ignore her? She seems to get angry when I do. Thats her problem, she needs to learn how to process her own anger on her own. She will learn Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Wilson, my ex is trying to make me the bad guy, she is saying that I never tried to get her back when I did. Should I keep ignoring her and stay no contact?, When a chick says this, she wants you to try and win her back. Best advice, tell her that you shouldnt have to try to win her love back, that it should still be there if she ever really loved her then go nc. Link to post Share on other sites
s2korean Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 This is the text she sent me What we once had. Plans, a future, a family together. Tomorrow, everything I have from our past, including pictures, your drivers license, movies tickets and such will be thrown away. Cause even if one day we cross paths again, we will never be together again and we will never have the same feelings we had when we first met. Cause if you loved me, you had 2 years to fix it. If you loved me, you wouldn't stop chasing after me. Other guys are trying harder to get me more than my own ex boyfriend that supposely love me. So let me tell you this. I am done with you for good. Im starting a New chapter with someone else whether I still love you or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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