Author wilsonx Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 jstobo for the record, it was smokeys advice, and she is crazy, Im just that guy that breaks to the will of crazy hot women. Captain save a hoe to the rescue? Aren't you people tired of reading the same breakup threads day in and day out... I know I am, this is way more entertaining isnt it? stop preaching to me, laugh at the silliness of this and have fun Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Stop telling me what I can or cannot post. I AM going from what he types. That's all we have here. Since you think you are the other half of Wilson - and you seem to speak for him - it looks very odd... Like his Mother. You may know more than others here - which leads anyone reading to believe he hasn't posted his truth. But it's not yours to post...that is for sure. Stop telling Wilson what to do! I dont think im the other half of wilson at all, again more rubbish and assumtions, i am not speaking on behalf of him, im telling you what i think and feel. Its not your post to tell him or me what to do either, do you get it! I wont be responding to you again, I dont repeat myself or play the tit for tat gmes, Move on! Link to post Share on other sites
jstobo Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 jstobo for the record, it was smokeys advice, and she is crazy, Im just that guy that breaks to the will of crazy hot women. Captain save a hoe to the rescue? Aren't you people tired of reading the same breakup threads day in and day out... I know I am, this is way more entertaining isnt it? stop preaching to me, laugh at the silliness of this and have fun I'm sorry...I took this thread as real life and not a joke. My mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 smokey just click his name and then choose ignore on his profile, I did that a few days ago... he's long gone Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 jstobo for the record, it was smokeys advice, and she is crazy, Im just that guy that breaks to the will of crazy hot women. Captain save a hoe to the rescue? Aren't you people tired of reading the same breakup threads day in and day out... I know I am, this is way more entertaining isnt it? stop preaching to me, laugh at the silliness of this and have fun Dont you dare try to pin this on me, you just asked me to give you the green light lol. You dont listen to me anyway i told you not post it on here lol. Wilson your justifying yourself in that last post, stop it. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 jstobo for the record, it was smokeys advice, and she is crazy, Im just that guy that breaks to the will of crazy hot women. Captain save a hoe to the rescue? Aren't you people tired of reading the same breakup threads day in and day out... I know I am, this is way more entertaining isnt it? stop preaching to me, laugh at the silliness of this and have fun Eh did you just call me HOT!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 yes, remember when you stripped for me the other night on webcam Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Never stated telling him "what to do" - just giving insight. And apparently I've become a male... Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 yes, remember when you stripped for me the other night on webcam Wilson, you play with fire you get burned, DO NOT poke the bear! Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 MOST GIGS situations do not end in reconciliation. Why? Because the dumped person eventually figures out what they are worth and know the person who got GIGS DOES NOT DESERVE THEM. Just because someone dumps you doesn't mean that they are a horrible person. It means that they are doing what they think, feel or believe is in their best interest. Most people that do get GIGS are in their late teens and early to mid twenties. Since when is it wrong to want to date others, work on your career, travel, not be in a serious relationship at 18 - 25 years of age that is locked into marriage. They do not have the maturity, life experience or dated around to be able to know for certain and for their own sake (and your own), should go figure out what they want and who. Otherwise, they end up getting married and when life and difficulties hit, they think they might of made a mistake and bail. Go read the divorce forum of the couple in their late twenties / early thirties that were with the same person since they were young and wonder if they missed out, made a bad choice, etc and end in divorce. I am in the middle of reconnecting with an Ex from two years ago who had GIGS at 22. She got her own place, focused on her career, traveled in the US and abroad, made new friends, etc. She did what she set out to do to gain life experience on her own, dated around, accomplish some goals that she had set and prove to herself she has what it takes. For her, it was the right thing to do for her, made perfect sense to me and I couldn't be prouder of her. She is back now... Pursuing me, wanting to share her life with me, misses "us", misses "me", knows that I am the one for her, loves and values me more than before, etc. The GF or BF that breaks up with their HS sweetheart to go have the "college experience" is GIGS... What is wrong with wanting the "college experience" and possibly reconnecting years down the road? Nothing! I haven't met anyone that would advise someone from having the "college experience" instead of staying with their HS sweetheart. The reason, it is good for both the dumper and the dumpee to go through that experience, grow, face life and challenges on their own, date others, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 The GF or BF that breaks up with their HS sweetheart to go have the "college experience" is GIGS... What is wrong with wanting the "college experience" and possibly reconnecting years down the road? Nothing! I haven't met anyone that would advise someone from having the "college experience" instead of staying with their HS sweetheart. The reason, it is good for both the dumper and the dumpee to go through that experience, grow, face life and challenges on their own, date others, etc. There is a couple I go skiing with that is this right here ^^^^^^^ Highschool sweethearts, did their own things in college and then got back together afterwards... Link to post Share on other sites
jstobo Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Just because someone dumps you doesn't mean that they are a horrible person. It means that they are doing what they think, feel or believe is in their best interest. Most people that do get GIGS are in their late teens and early to mid twenties. Since when is it wrong to want to date others, work on your career, travel, not be in a serious relationship at 18 - 25 years of age that is locked into marriage. They do not have the maturity, life experience or dated around to be able to know for certain and for their own sake (and your own), should go figure out what they want and who. Otherwise, they end up getting married and when life and difficulties hit, they think they might of made a mistake and bail. Go read the divorce forum of the couple in their late twenties / early thirties that were with the same person since they were young and wonder if they missed out, made a bad choice, etc and end in divorce. I am in the middle of reconnecting with an Ex from two years ago who had GIGS at 22. She got her own place, focused on her career, traveled in the US and abroad, made new friends, etc. She did what she set out to do to gain life experience on her own, dated around, accomplish some goals that she had set and prove to herself she has what it takes. For her, it was the right thing to do for her, made perfect sense to me and I couldn't be prouder of her. She is back now... Pursuing me, wanting to share her life with me, misses "us", misses "me", knows that I am the one for her, loves and values me more than before, etc. The GF or BF that breaks up with their HS sweetheart to go have the "college experience" is GIGS... What is wrong with wanting the "college experience" and possibly reconnecting years down the road? Nothing! I haven't met anyone that would advise someone from having the "college experience" instead of staying with their HS sweetheart. The reason, it is good for both the dumper and the dumpee to go through that experience, grow, face life and challenges on their own, date others, etc. Gibson: GIGS at 19 thru 25 is VERY different from GIGS after 10 years of marriage with children. GIGS does not just happen to people your age. I never said someone with GIGS is a bad person. But if someone gets GIGS after 10 years of marriage with children, there is a lot more damage caused, due to their decision. It is a lot harder to go back after the GIGS person ended your marriage, caused one to move out, transfer kids back and forth, divided all the assets, paid spousal and child support, caused friends to choose sides, and ended all the in law relationships built over the 10 plus years. Wow, do I sound bitter! I'm not. I'm just trying to clarify my point. GIGS IS OK at your age and expected and healthy. Late 30's, early 40's GIGS is a whole new ball game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 How so??? The only thing stopping reconciliation for GIGS is resentment in any case. Its called growing up, letting go of past hurt to live in the present. If you love somebody you accept them for who they are not their actions. Their actions should not hurt you. If you think about it, if you are hurt because of their actions, thats something you have to own, its your pain, not theirs. You can choose to hold on to that pain with resentment or let it go with acceptance 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Gibson: GIGS at 19 thru 25 is VERY different from GIGS after 10 years of marriage with children. GIGS does not just happen to people your age. I never said someone with GIGS is a bad person. But if someone gets GIGS after 10 years of marriage with children, there is a lot more damage caused, due to their decision. It is a lot harder to go back after the GIGS person ended your marriage, caused one to move out, transfer kids back and forth, divided all the assets, paid spousal and child support, caused friends to choose sides, and ended all the in law relationships built over the 10 plus years. Wow, do I sound bitter! I'm not. I'm just trying to clarify my point. GIGS IS OK at your age and expected and healthy. Late 30's, early 40's GIGS is a whole new ball game. I'm 40... not 19. Which is why GIGS is a great thing for both the dumper and dumpee. These people are ticking timebombs. The need, desire and longing of wondering what is out there, is this really the right person since they didn't date much and do not know any better, etc. is going to end in a break up or end a marriage. I had / have many friends (women and men) that married their LTR from their teen or early twenties and they ended in divorce. All due to GIGS. They thought if they married, if they got a house, got the job, had the kid, etc. it will kill whatever it is that causes GIGS. It never does. Until they see for themselves what the other grass is like out there, it will not go away. These same friends, almost all of them said it was the dumbest decision they ever made, lost the best girl / guy out there and it was so not worth the cost. So my point is, if someone dumps you due to GIGS, they did you a real big favor. It's a good thing it is now and not 2 - 5 years into a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
jstobo Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 How so??? The only thing stopping reconciliation for GIGS is resentment in any case. Its called growing up, letting go of past hurt to live in the present. If you love somebody you accept them for who they are not their actions. Their actions should not hurt you. If you think about it, if you are hurt because of their actions, thats something you have to own, its your pain, not theirs. You can choose to hold on to that pain with resentment or let it go with acceptance Wilson: Just because I don't want to get back together with the person doesn't mean I haven't let go with acceptance. I have accepted that she no longer wants to be married and because of that our kids will grow up in a broken marriage. I have seen a person who chose to break up a 10 year marriage to be with another man. Yes, its GIGS. But I no longer want to be with that person. I want to find a new healthy relationship. I will always have love for my STBX, but I am not in love with the person she has now shown to be. She's not a bad or horrible person. She is a great mother. But I do not want to spend the rest of my life with someone who made the decisions she has made. Did I contribute to our failed marriage? Absolutely! Was I happy the last couple of years? No. But no matter how unhappy I was, I was focused on our marriage and our family, knowing that long relationships go through tough times. She chose to have an affair all by herself. So I am choosing to love her as the mother of my children, but no longer as a wife. Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Ok I talked to my ex today! We had a nice talk. She told me that when she first broke up with me and probably a few months into it all she wanted was for me to show up out of nowhere with a ring. She said things have changed not but my point is I commend you for putting yourself out there! 1 of 2 things will happen she will not come back to you and that is where you are now! So no loss other than some pride but looking back all of us men have swollowed our pirde at some point and humiliated ourselves and now years later... who cares! Or she could feel like wow this guy really does love me what the hell am I doing. So I guess the only thing it could hurt is that she now knows she has time to think about it a lot longer. So oh well at least a few years from now you will look back and have zero regrets. Good luck buddy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 (edited) well..........one of the things I am going to share with this thread is cause and effect. My relationship was going to end no matter what due to GIGS. Both of us had growing up to do. I am pretty sure 99.999999% of the people on LS have growing up to do and need to admit fault in themselves. I watch this in almost every "GIGS" thread, even in the married ones, theres one common element. Its the lack of intimacy in the relationship. When I say intimacy, I mean open and honest communication. Most people that come here do so to vent, they are angry, bitter, resentful, feel hopeless and despair. The sad part is, this can be fixed. I was intimate with my ex for the first time in a year today. I had her go from we can't be friends to we can be friends if you dont have feelings for me anymore. How you ask, because I was intimate with her. I got her to open up to me with open and honest communication. This is what I told her word for word You said the last time I saw you, is there something you wanted to tell me? I did not know the answer to this question. Last night, everything just made sense in my head. It was a lightbulb moment. I am sorry I made a terrible mistake and I hurt you. You were right, I was immature. I closed down and distanced myself emotionally when I should have opened up. I built up resentment towards myself for not trusting myself which caused me not to trust you. I was wrong and have been wrong for a long time. When I did this I abandoned you both physically and emotionally and I hurt you and this is my fault. I never understood how to process feelings in myself and other people. I was walled off and was unable to put myself in other people's shoes. You told me this when you said "You always have to be right" When I had this philosophy, I was wrong. This is something I did not learn until I met you. Even talking to my dad, he thinks everyone should conform to his standards. I watch this in all my friends and family, they do not understand and they think Im wrong but you taught me that it was right. You are extremely smart and beautiful and if it wasnt for you showing me this, I would still be an immature assclown Where in this conversation did I blame my ex for anything? No where, I praised her and what did she did do? She opened up to me. She told me a bunch of things that her biggest regret that she lives with was lying to me and cheating on me. She told me she never told me this because she thought it would hurt me. I reiterated the fact that I am a big boy and its my job to deal with pain at the same time it was disrespectful to me to lie to me. That was our biggest downfall in our relationship, I fought because I was disrespected when I should have been intimate with her and get her to understand for me to understand her side of it. As a guy, this is my fault. I fought the person I loved instead of putting myself in her shoes and understanding where she was coming from and why she did what she did. So what was the point of this. This shows her that wow, he's changed. She still GIGS, shes about to hit rock bottom when her relationship crashes hard. She has everything invested in that relationship but shes emotionally cheating on him with me. Thats why she walled off in the email and the 2nd encounter. People can also learn from my craziness that this thread provides. Its not the typical breakup story. Its a growing up story. What came out of this, experience, unconditional love from me to her. Its going to be reciprocated in the future, maybe not soon but it will. Why because I let go of anger and resentment. Life's too short. There are very few people on this forum that understood what I did and why. Its because I grew up. I quit blaming others for my problems and I accepted that I needed to learn. I am not asking for friendship from her, I love her, I do have my own life to live but if she came back and I wasn't dating anyone serious, I would go back to her without any hesitation. Edited December 23, 2011 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 If you guys want to understand what phase 4 of GIGS is, all you have to do is read this thread. One of the things I realized and was pointed out to me last night is I am going through it. Watch how off and on I am in this thread, how hesitant I am in my decisions, did I make the right decision. How one day Im all out, the next day, Im confused. This is what phase 4 is. I had a lightbulb moment. Honestly, I emotionally dumped my ex last November. I remember telling my parents after our breakup, I realized I really did not care for her anymore. I convinced myself of that. I started doing stupid things myself then. EgoJoe commented 2 months ago that I would never give my ex a second chance. I agreed with him, never in a million years. And then out of the blue lightbulb moment boom email is shot off. Whats funny is I was talking to my ex yesterday and she told me the same thing I told my parents, "I quit caring" , "I would never give you a second chance", "we just weren't right for each other". Ive said all these things, I am pretty sure homebrew said these things as well. My manager at work said the same thing. And in the end you smile and laugh at it. How Ironic is it? You realize you are growing up. I tried dating and it just wasnt fun and I ended up getting hurt. I did the one night stands and there was nothing there. I had no concept of what unconditional love is until it hit, like light a lightbulb. She was it. Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Any new news wilson? Something must be transpiring. No? Link to post Share on other sites
lalalandman Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 wow, I sure did miss a lot here. I had no idea you were back in comms with your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Any new news wilson? Something must be transpiring. No? He really only responds to smokey bear... Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 yeah him and smokey have taken their relationship to the webcam cybersex level I believe! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 she cant handle me on webcam Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 she cant handle me on webcam hehe he has emerged! I must admitt I am dying to know if she's hot at least! Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 she cant handle me on webcam Wilson, do you want to play this game? Link to post Share on other sites
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