I think I messed up by not making a move.

[plzHlp]

I've liked my best girl friend of 3 years for probably 2.5 of them. I think she felt similar but not as strongly, and she had a boyfriend. They broke up over 6 months ago.

 

When that happened, a few of my friend suggested I ask her out and that she was interested, etc. But I was passive and didn't.

 

She sent extremely mixed signals. One night we were all out together and she made out with some random guy while blackout drunk and felt totally embarrassed by it for ages. Another night we danced together for ages and she was still talking about it days later. I also had to give her a ride home and she told me she'd have to buy me dinner sometime to make up for it. I am so stupid that I didn't realize that the was probably a very good sign (and she mentioned it quite a few times, I just didn't realize until after). {those are just two examples}

 

Then all of the sudden (and I am 100% sure she didn't meet anyone in this time period), she seemed much less interested. She started talking about going out and meeting guys, etc. She offered to hook me up with one of her friends. That's when I realized I was done for.

 

I want to win her back over, but I don't know how. Sadly it seems like the one thing that reignites anything is getting into (verbal) fights with her. She spends the rest of the day (and even days later) trying to make sure I forgive her, even when I am pretty clearly the one in the wrong.

 

What should I do? I am going to dinner (alone, I think, unless she invites someone else last minute) with her next week, for the first time, basically ever. How do I gauge what's up?

 

Did I blow it for good?

 

(Also--for what it's worth, at minimum three of my friends, one of whom is really good friends with this girl, think that she for sure *used* to be interested... The one who is good friends with her said I probably need to just wait until she goes through the whole rebound stage thing--but how long does that last?--and I think he might have just been being nice, knowing that I had blown it permanently)

 

Thanks!

[Deadmeat]

Hey bud,

 

I was in a similar situation as you a long time ago. I never made a move either and I've regretted that for a long time. She's with someone now and she's happy. I've learned my lesson. I'm never ever going to wait any more than I have to do.

 

You should have told her how you felt 2.5 years ago. Your dinner with her sounds like a good opportunity. Hope for the best but expect the worse.

 

Good luck with everything bro

[nowwhatnow]

i would say go for it. i was dating someone and it didnt work out and when it didnt i took a lot of time to think about things. before i started dating this guy i had a crush on my really good guy friend but i didnt think he ever felt the same.

 

now 2, years later, and after my whole messy break up (which happened a year ago) im beginning to realize how much i really like my best guy friend. we spent the whole summer together and saw each other almost everyday - and when we werent with each other, we were texting each other. one night he came to my house really late and he was lying on the floor of my room looking at an old yearbook and i came with a blanket and lay next to him...and i was too scared to do anything. now we are back at different schools and he is going away for the semester and i never said anything.

 

i am going to see him before he goes but it is only for a week so i dont know whether i should say anything either. but i can tell you that from a girls perspective, i do regret it. i regret not telling him how i felt before its too late. i still think maybe i should tell him before he goes, so at least he knows how i feel - but another part of me doesnt want to ruin this friendship. i just dont know how much longer i can remain just friends with him.

[plzHlp]

You should have told her how you felt 2.5 years ago.

 

1. I pretty much did once, but we were both drunk... My friends (same ones who told me to go for it a couple months ago) said to leave it alone and not to wreck a 4 year relationship.

 

2. I think she knows, solely on the basis of her being a girl: girls always know.