solobeary Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I've been crying pretty much ALL day. Nothing happened, except that I made a big step in realising that it was really over, that he probably won't come crawling back, and even if he did I would be an idiot for taking him back. I can't stop crying, mourning what I've lost. How incredibly much I loved him and how he threw that away. I haven't cried like this EVER. Not when it happened, not after, never before. During the break up I felt anxious, now I just feel so heart-wrenchingly sad. I've cried, but not this much. I've been low contact, not no contact. Please don't go mad on me, I can now see crystal clear that this has delayed my healing A LOT. I'm going No Contact now for good. It's been 4 months, I shouldn't be balling like a baby, but I am. Has anyone had a similar "episode" like this. Feeling like you were dealing, getting stronger, then having a crazy wave of emotion come over you? Please tell me this is "catharsis", and not the start of another really bad stage? Link to post Share on other sites
fenderjames Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Absolutely yes! Its a roller coaster of emotions just to get thru one day . I guess it shows how much we cared for this person to grieve like this when they leave our lives . Link to post Share on other sites
HappyFlower Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 I'm going through massive anger at the moment, at 3 months post BU and I've been 'ok' up til now. I sit here and get more and more cross about all the things I missed or let slide while we were together that should have shown me how self-obsessed he was. And I'm angry at myself for allowing that to happen and being taken for such a ride. But in a way, I'm glad the angry/sad stage has finally arrived, I can get it out of my system and really hate him a while, and then keep moving on Chin up! xx Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Has anyone had a similar "episode" like this. Feeling like you were dealing, getting stronger, then having a crazy wave of emotion come over you? Please tell me this is "catharsis", and not the start of another really bad stage? God, yes, of course. I don't know of one person on these boards who hasn't gone through episodes like that! And if they haven't, well, then I would honestly question how much they're really healing. We all have those little 'epiphanies' or moments where it finally starts to dawn on us that this is it. Doesn't matter if it happens sooner or later. It's a horrid feeling, like something that just completely slaps you in the face one day and you can't believe you never felt it 'till now. But Solo, you're not weak or anything for crying like that. It's actually a good thing because it's been 4 months, and you probably needed something like this to happen for it to sink in.. Just know that with every time you cry, and with every few tears, that while it pains you in the moment, it also means you're one step closer to not ever crying over this guy again. Think of it as cleansing your system out and becoming healthy again. It doesn't all happen in one day, or even months, but it happens little by little... Sometimes you think it's not truly working and you're wasting your time, but eventually you do get over that big hump, and you do feel a whole lot better. A whole lot healthier and more like yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author solobeary Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Thanks so much for the replies. I've had a rough weekend and then another teary night tonight as I started archiving old emails so they weren't available for me to read anymore, thanks to Thieves' advice. I really hope this new-found crying means I've progressed one more stage in healing... The good thing was that reading the emails one last time as I got rid of them made me sad, but also a little bit angry. I hope I'm moving on... Link to post Share on other sites
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