Ruined friendship?

[Ashnz]

I've really liked this girl for a while now and over past two months we became really good friends. I always felt there was something going on betweem us. She would flirt with me, she asked me out for lunch, she would text me every day till she fell asleep. If I didn't text her one day she would be first to text me. All the signs were that she was into me. Well, 2 days ago I confessed how I felt about her. She said she was shocked (really????) and liked me as a friend.

 

I was like, okay, no worries. - atleast we're clear now. Now I texted her twice yesterday and she hasn't texted me back which is unlike her. Fact is that She's a great girl and I really value her friendship even if there is nothing else. I think I have ruined what we had and feel like a villian for this cos I know she enjoyed talking to me. I feel its almost as if I've let her down. I feel stupid, sick, haven't been able to eat properly, feel like throwing up. I am a positive person but today morning I cursed my luck for waking up. I will get through this (hopefully without losing her as a friend) but right now I wish someone just put a bullet into my head :-(

 

What should I do? Leave her alone? Say sorry (for what exactly?)?

[thrillaveza]

i'm going through the same thing. Sadly it isn't the first time for me either. It hurts a lot i know, but i know what eases it, and that is keeping yourself busy. I know it's hard not to think about her but that does help. Just keep doing your thing and keep yourself occupied. If she starts talking to you, just keep it short and to the point for now. And perhaps meet new people.

 

sorry my structure is out of order, i'm listing all this off the top of my head.

[dk1991]

Yea dude haha, going through the same too. Loved this best friend of mine for two whole years. Thing is, all this time I did not noe I was in love with her till about 6 months ago when she said she was leaving the country for good. We talked, texted, flirted a lot of the time. Then I confessed to her....she said it'd be better if we stayed friends...but it just became so awkward.

 

Im no longer able to tease or joke with her in case she takes it the wrong way so basically, we dont say anything Its so damn painful, I know that cos im going through it. So now shes back overseas, and I try to continue talking to her on msn, she replies once or twice but does not reply in the way she normally does then stops answwering..

 

Sorry I dont have an answer to ur problem cos Im feeling the same as you do and need answers myself..

[cerridwen]

I've really liked this girl for a while now and over past two months we became really good friends. I always felt there was something going on betweem us. She would flirt with me, she asked me out for lunch, she would text me every day till she fell asleep. If I didn't text her one day she would be first to text me. All the signs were that she was into me. Well, 2 days ago I confessed how I felt about her. She said she was shocked (really????) and liked me as a friend.

 

I was like, okay, no worries. - atleast we're clear now. Now I texted her twice yesterday and she hasn't texted me back which is unlike her. Fact is that She's a great girl and I really value her friendship even if there is nothing else. I think I have ruined what we had and feel like a villian for this cos I know she enjoyed talking to me. I feel its almost as if I've let her down. I feel stupid, sick, haven't been able to eat properly, feel like throwing up. I am a positive person but today morning I cursed my luck for waking up. I will get through this (hopefully without losing her as a friend) but right now I wish someone just put a bullet into my head :-(

 

What should I do? Leave her alone? Say sorry (for what exactly?)?

 

Here's what I'd say:

 

Sheila, hey, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

It wasn't my intention to make things awkward.

I'd still like to hang out but if you don't want to or just need some time, that's cool.

Let me know.

Later.

 

Then you leave it.

Nothing more to do than your part.

[LZ2000]

I suspect that she may be flirting with you, texting you everyday, asking you out for lunch not because she genuinely likes you, but because she wants to merely escape her loneliness deep inside of her, or as a distraction from her other emotional issues.

 

I may be wrong though.

[WordvAction]

LZ2000,

I wholeheartedly agree with your response.

 

OP, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. However, don't feel like a villian who ruined everything for her. She was the one that led you on, not the other way around. Let her go, as tough as it may be. You will find happiness with someone else.

[LZ2000]

She wants to merely escape her loneliness deep inside of her, or as a distraction from her other emotional issues.

 

When I took a second look at my words, I just remembered a girl whom I befriended during my holiday trip to New York City.

 

She had a boyfriend who lived in the same hostel as I do, and once while we were out on the street, she confided to me that she didn't like to be alone and was scared of being as such. I told her that for the most part of my life, I pretty much had to stand up on my own and deal with my personal experiences alone. She replied that my personal life sounded so terrifying and could never bring herself to go through that.

 

After about a year, she broke up with her boyfriend and she's still on my facebook account after about nearly 4 years.

 

In all honesty, I couldn't really see myself being her boyfriend/fiance/husband/one-night-stand-partner at all. She ain't ugly in her physical appearance, by the way.

 

It's just that individuals, who have a very weak sense of willpower, prudence, resilience, self confidence are almost very eager or not apprehensive to shift guilt, blame, bad moods to others. And that's not healthy for a relationship.

Edited December 18, 2011 by LZ2000